Am I Really Dark and Disturbed?

My life as a Seinfeld character:

New scene.

George and Cheryl are parked.

George: Jerry?

Cheryl: I'm very attracted to him.

George: You think the person you were talking to is him? That's not even close to him. He's funny, Jerry's funny.

Cheryl: He never said anything funny.

George: He can't not be funny.

Cheryl: No no no, he's dark. And disturbed.

George: Dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal. I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That's how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed, that's disturbed. You can't
find sickness like that anywhere, you think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody. He's pretending, I'm the genuine article.

Cheryl: So you're telling me Jerry's whole thing was an act?

George: Yes! And I put him up to it, because I'm sick! I'm the one that needs help.

Cheryl: I gotta go.

George: Well, should I call you later?

Cheryl: Please don't.

George: But, but I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!!