Jerry Seinfeld did TV commercials for American Express. Akin Gump Executive Partner, Vernon E. Jordan, Jr., served on the Board of Directors of American Express.
March 3, 1998
3801 Connecticut Avenue, NW #136
Washington, DC 20008
147 El Camino Drive #205
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
Tell you what I won't be doing on Thursday nights anymore. Getting a haircut. After a side-trimming who-knows-how-many-years-run, my barbers--Frank and Dino (obviously, not their real names)--decided to wrap it up and throw in the hot towel.
They're both young men, but they decided to retire. Frank says it was that he just felt it was time. It's something that he has known for a while. They say Dino was stung by criticism that he couldn't make the sideburns match up anymore: a little too short on one side, a little too long on the other.
No more haircuts. I've decided to let it grow.
Television. It's really a service industry. It's not about writing, acting. It's about giving people what they want. And they'll always want more.
It happened to Shakespeare. He introduces a concept: Renaissance plays about Renaissance men. Danish prince teams up with two ethnics and a nut-case former girlfriend who drowns herself in a lake. (Horatio: "I thought you and Hamlet split up." Ophelia: "We did, but we still hang out together.")
Danish prince, soup Nazi--it's all the same genre. Shakespeare had trouble selling the pilot, but later it becomes a sensation. People clamored for more. It was like Rocky I. Tudor action/adventure.
Shakespeare opted for early retirement: "The hell with these low-life Elizabethans, I'm going back to Stratford. What do these people want from me? It's roots, man. There's something about the energy of that place, and the fact that people live on top of each other." Tudor architecture.
Believe me, retirement's not all it's cracked up to be. A few years ago I tried to get my old job back. They tell me: "We'd love to have you. Of course . . ., the management committee is under indictment, and will be serving time."
Renaissance man. You know what that is? Most people think it means "a person with multiple interests that cover a wide area." To Malcolm and his partners it meant: fraud, conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and racketeering throughout the Northeast corridor and beyond. Tudor diversification.
One last word. I don't plan ever to do another series of letters. This was my one and only series. Who am I? I'll tell you who I am. I'm half-Jewish and half-Scottish. My favorite poet is Bobby Burns, and my favorite deity is George Burns. I only eat kosher haggis, but never during Lent. I don't track down UFO's; I leave that to the professionals.
You done good, Jerry. Good bye, Jerry. By the way, who really wrote those scripts?