I'm A Dangerous Person Because I Attended a Wagner Opera!

On January 15, 2010 two officers from the Justice Department interviewed me at my residence about a law enforcement matter. During the interview, one officer asked me if I had attended any operas recently. I explained, looking at the officer in a funny way, smiling, that I had attended a (Wagner) opera the previous November. Wagner -- so he knew what I was really trying to tell him very significantly -- Wagner. The Justice Department officers concluded, in paranoid fashion, that I was a potentially violent person, and imposed protective measures against me, curtailing my liberties.

Do you think these officers have been watching too much Woody Allen?

Excerpt from the script of the Woody Allen movie, Annie Hall:

ROB: Alvy, you're a total paranoid.

ALVY: Wh-- How am I a paran--? Well, I pick up on those kind o' things. You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said ... uh, "Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?" Not, did you, didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it? Jew eat?

ROB: Ah, Max, you, uh ...

ALVY: Stop calling me Max.

ROB: Why, Max? It's a good name for you. Max, you see conspiracies in everything.

ALVY: No, I don't! You know, I was in a record store. Listen to this -- so I know there's this big tall blond crew-cutted guy and he's lookin' at me in a funny way and smiling and he's saying, "Yes, we have a sale this week on Wagner." Wagner, Max, Wagner -- so I know what he's really tryin' to tell me very significantly Wagner. 

Actually, I'm joking.  The Justice Department really thought I was a potentially violent person because I don't eat out!