D.C. Department of Mental Health -- Goals in Psychotherapy

The following is a tongue-in-cheek set of goals for psychotherapy I wrote and addressed to my former therapist at the D.C. Department of Mental Health, Dr. Israela Bash.  I don't remember if I ever gave Dr. Bash a copy. 

TO: Israela Bash, Ph.D.
FROM: Gary Freedman
DATE: June 9, 2004
RE: Goals in Psychotherapy
__________________________________

A few months ago Dr. Cooper said that I need to formulate goals in therapy -- clearly-defined, achievable goals.

I have thought long and hard about my goals, and I would like to state them to you now. I believe the following goals are realistic and achievable. In support of my contention that the goals are realistic, I cite the names of individuals whose life-styles include these behaviors.

1. I would like to have one best (male) friend, and no other friends. Too many friends unnecessarily complicates life. I will be satisfied with one very close friend. (Michael Chabon).  [Michael Chabon is a novelist, and the author of one of my favorite books, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh.  During a TV interview with Rita Braver of CBS News (in about the year 2002), Mr. Chabon said that he has always had one best friend, and no other friends.  Rita Braver is married to Williams & Connolly partner Robert Barnett, Esq.  Mr. Barnett is also a publishing agent.]

2. I would like to sleep all day in the Cleveland Park Library. Sleeping all day in the library is very gratifying, and can be a socially-acceptable way of living one's life (John Conner).  [John Conner is a Cleveland Park Library patron who used to routinely sleep at a table in the library.  Former branch librarian Brian P. Brown was friendly with Conner and did not tell him that sleeping in the library was prohibited.  Mr. Brown called the D.C. Police on me in April 2004 because I saved a document to a library computer, in violation of library policy -- or so Mr. Brown claims.]

3. I would like to be grandiose, lacking in empathy, and interpersonally exploitive. This is a life-style that works for many people. (Rocco Dispirito).  [Rocco Dispirito is a chef who had a reality TV series several years.  He was an interpersonally-exploitive individual, in my opinion.]

4. I would like to have a set of "pen-pals" with whom I can communicate in writing on a regular basis. I want to have no special or direct contact with these persons. Under no circumstances may these individuals address me by my first name. My preference is that my letters be a mixture of intellectual abstractions and bawdiness. (Oliver Wendell Holmes).  [U.S. Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes famously carried on epistolary friendships, without ever wanting to meet the individuals with whom he corresponded.]

These are my goals. I look forward to working toward these goals with you, Dr. Bash.

Shalom!