Friday, June 29, 2012

Humor Piece -- 1993

The following humor piece merges the story of John and Lorena Bobbit, who cut off her husband's penis -- with a story about the millionaire Haft family.  Robert Haft owned Crown Books and used to famously say in his television commercials, "Books cost too much."

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Dear Stell,

Check out the last paragraph.

A Symbol of Shared Rage--Dozens Rallying Around D.C. Woman Who Cut Husband--Man Loses Family, But Keeps Hair

Seven weeks after Gloria Haft took a kitchen knife and cut off her husband's hair following an alleged attempt to renege on stock option agreements, the D.C. woman had become something of a feminist folk heroine.

She has gotten dozens of calls and letters of support, mostly from women, offering everything from simple encouragement to help with legal fees or research on her upcoming court case, said her Alexandra attorney, James Lowe.

"The man in this situation basically got what every woman who has been abused would like to have done but just wasn't able to do," said Elie Petrakis, 37, who along with six co-workers in a District dress shop, including one man, wrote a letter to Gloria Haft and sent a copy to newspaper reporters.

"We thought she needed some encouragement," said Dolores F. Ross, 68, who also signed the letter.  I haven't been cheated out of a stock option agreement but I've been close, and as far as we're concerned, it was justified."

Gloria Haft's husband, Herbert Haft, 72, was charged last week with breach of fiduciary duties and faces a Sept. 27 jury trial.  She was charged shortly after the June 23 incident with malicious wounding.  A trial date is to be set in early September.

Haft's hair was surgically reattached after a 7-hour emergency hair weave procedure, and his doctors report that he is making a good recovery.

Herbert Haft's son, Robert Haft, explaining why his father didn't simply purchase a toupee, is reported to have said, "Toupees cost too much!"


 Herbert Haft

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