Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Comedy Dialogue from 1994

Vice Presidential Debate, 1988

Senator Lloyd Bentsen: "I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

Update, 1994

Treasury Secretary Lloyd Bentsen:  "The Secret Service knew Lee Harvey Oswald. The Secret Service investigated Lee Harvey Oswald. Freedman, you're no Lee Harvey Oswald."

And, from that great holiday classic, It's a Wonderful Felony Conviction:

[Hoffman]: Listen to me, think, think.

[Race]: I can't think any more, it hurts, it hurts.

[Hoffman]: You silly, stupid fool. Do you realize what this means? It means disbarment and scandal and prison. That's what it means. One of us is going to jail. Well, it's not going to be me.

Later, Hoffman considers jumping into a lake. Whereupon Hoffman's guardian angel, Clarence, appears.

[Clarence]: But don't you know, Larry? If you had never been born . . . Do you realize, if you had never been born? Why, why . . . Eastern Airlines might have filed for bankruptcy. We might no longer have an Eastern Airlines!

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