Thursday, June 10, 2010

Akin Gump and Cartoon Physics

Cartoon physics is a jocular system of laws of physics that supersedes the normal laws, used in animation for humorous effect. Many of the most famous American animated films, particularly those from Warner Bros. and MGM studios, unconsciously developed a relatively consistent set of such "laws" that have become regularly applied in comic animation. For example, when a cartoon character runs off a cliff, gravity has no effect until the character notices and reacts.

In words attributed to Art Babbitt, an animator with the Walt Disney Studios: "Animation follows the laws of physics — unless it is funnier otherwise."

At the law firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld an unemployable employee is considered fully employable -- and may be permitted to accrue an outstanding employment history -- until such time that the firm's senior managers notice and react to the fact that the employee was unemployable the entire time he was employed.  The employee is then officially unemployable.

The U.S. Department of Justice recognizes the validity of this principle.  According to the U.S. Marshal Service it is a forbidden act for an officially unemployable employee to disclose publicly, by means of a blog, for example, that he had been fully able to work the entire time before the post hoc determination that he was officially unemployable.

According to the U.S. Marshal Service an officially unemployable employee should keep his mouth shut and just collect his $500,000 in federal benefits.

Thanks, Lanny!  I am so happy you recognize that the Justice Department follows the laws of the United States -- unless it is funnier otherwise.   Hahahahaha!  Remember, it's not a crime if it's funny!


Gary Freedman said...

Didn't the U.S. Marshal Service commit a misprision of a felony?

Now, that's funny!

Gary Freedman said...

God, I love Vitamin P! I wonder who sits on the Board of Directors of Vitamin P?