Friday, July 23, 2010

Me and O.J. Simpson

O.J.:  I didn't murder my wife.  I was found to be liable for her wrongful death.  But I'm not a criminal.  Or at least, I didn't used to be a criminal.  I am simply a tortfeasor.  That makes all the difference in the world.  I'm in the same category as the aluminum siding salesman who  reneges on his contract!

Gary Freedman:  I was not a victim of job harassment at Akin Gump.  I was a victim of workplace mobbing.  That makes all the difference in the world.  I still get to collect my monthly racketeering checks from the federal government.  Why?  Because apparently the Justice Department is not familiar with a legal concept known as res judicata (what it is and what it isn't)  and sent the U.S. Marshal Service after me:  "You're blogging about an adjudicated matter?  How dare you?  You are a disturbingly demented individual!  Don't ever come near the District Court."

As I like to say, whatever it takes to keep those checks flowing can't be bad.

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