Thursday, October 27, 2011
Luciano Sings Strauss
At Home With the Three Tenors:
So, I would come home at night and my wife would say: Luciano, dear, how many federal prosecutors did you sing for today.
Luciano: Plenty, too many to count. And to tell you the truth, it's finally caught up with me. I think I'm losing my voice.
Wife: Say it ain't so, Luciano.
Luciano: Oh, it-a be so, mama.
Wife: But that Louie Freeh, he a nice Italian boy.
Luciano: Louie Freeh may be a nice Italian boy, mama, but he no-a like-a my high C's. He say, "sing from a de text, sing from a de text." I say, "but Judge, I sing from-a de text." He say, "no, you sing from a de pretext." I say, "no, Judge, text." He say, "no, pretext."
Wife: But, Luciano, what is-a de "pretext?"
Luciano: Thats-a what I like-a to know. What is-a de pretext? So he say, "you know-a RICO?" I say, "Rico," sure, Judge. I-a once sing in-a San Juan. So, the Judge, he-a say, "treble damages." So, I say, "no I sing-a the treble clef." What he-a mean, mama, treble damages?
Bob: So, I would come home at night and my wife, Helen, would say, "Bob, dear, did any of your partners sing today?"
So Bob says: Helen, the hills are alive with the sound of music.
Helen: But, what will become of Luciano?
Bob: His days on the big stage are over. As for his future, I'll tell you this, he might try to break into the dry-goods business, but dry-goods would be too good for him.
"Over the river and through the woods to federal prison they go."