Luciano Sings Strauss

At Home With the Three Tenors:

So, I would come home at night and my wife would say: Luciano, dear, how many federal prosecutors did you sing for today.

Luciano:  Plenty, too many to count.  And to tell you the truth, it's finally caught up with me.  I think I'm losing my voice.

Wife: Say it ain't so, Luciano.

Luciano:  Oh, it-a be so, mama.

Wife:  But that Louie Freeh, he a nice Italian boy.

Luciano:  Louie Freeh may be a nice Italian boy, mama, but he no-a like-a my high C's.  He say, "sing from a de text, sing from a de text."  I say, "but Judge, I sing from-a de text."  He say, "no, you sing from a de pretext."  I say, "no, Judge, text."  He say, "no, pretext."

Wife:  But, Luciano, what is-a de "pretext?"

Luciano:  Thats-a what I like-a to know.  What is-a de pretext?  So he say, "you know-a RICO?"  I say, "Rico," sure, Judge.  I-a once sing in-a San Juan.  So, the Judge, he-a say, "treble damages."  So, I say, "no I sing-a the treble clef."  What he-a mean, mama, treble damages?
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Bob: So, I would come home at night and my wife, Helen, would say, "Bob, dear, did any of your partners sing today?"

So Bob says: Helen, the hills are alive with the sound of music.

Helen:  But, what will become of Luciano?

Bob:  His days on the big stage are over.  As for his future, I'll tell you this, he might try to break into the dry-goods business, but dry-goods would be too good for him.
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"Over the river and through the woods to federal prison they go."

4/2/96