I Shower Once a Day -- Twice a Day in the Summer

by Mark Goulston, M.D.

What are clues that you should LOOK and LISTEN for to tell you that you might be dealing with a potentially violent person?

What to LOOK for:

--Loss of temper on a daily basis
--Frequent physical fighting
--Significant vandalism or property damage
--Increase in use of drugs or alcohol
--Increase in risk-taking behavior
--Detailed plans to commit acts of violence
--Enjoying hurting animals
--Carrying a weapon
--Agitated movement - difficulty keeping still
--Easily irritated - you walk on "eggshells" around him
--Very impatient when having to wait in lines or wait to speak
--Shifty eye movements - tends to look evasively to left or right as if hiding something, if looks downward this may be a sign of submissiveness, but may then incense him later on
--Change in usual routines in terms of hobbies or exercises, etc.
--Stays to self or starts associating with "marginal" people
--Drawn to violent movies, newspaper stories, internet sites, television and radio shows
--Less attention to hygiene
--Paradoxical calmness in someone who has been agitated (may signal that has come up with a violent solution to his problems)

What to LISTEN for:

--Announcing threats or plans for hurting others
--Argumentative
--Becomes defensive easily
--Takes things personally that are not meant that way
--Negative comments about most things
--Complaining done with underlying agitation
--Blaming - most of what he talks about is blaming someone or something
--Sullen more than sulking - he can be silent in an intense way that doesn't feel quiet, sulking means he's getting some frustrations out

And if you notice the following signs over a period of time, the potential for violence exists:

--A history of violent or aggressive behavior
--Serious drug or alcohol use
--Gang membership or strong desire to be in a gang
--Access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
--Threatening others regularly
--Trouble controlling feelings like anger
--Withdrawal from friends and usual activities
--Feeling rejected or alone
--Having been a victim of bullying
--Poor school performance
--History of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
--Feeling constantly disrespected
--Failing to acknowledge the feelings or rights of others

http://www.keithferrazzi.com/never-eat-alone/recognizing_pot/