Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Adrift in Foolish Dreams

I was a very well-behaved child. I was shy, lonely and withdrawn even then. I was even considered backward by my teachers. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Yeagley, called my mother to school for a conference and reported that I was mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in foolish dreams. Very early, indeed, I set myself the task of establishing myself as an entirely separate entity, influenced as little as possible by other people. In school, I did not revolt, I simply ignored authority. My first attempt to assert my individuality is interesting. My parents were indifferent to religion. My father was Jewish and my mother, Catholic. I was not raised in any religion. I, while still a school boy, deliberately emphasized my Jewish origin and went through a period of religious fervor which I later described as my first attempt to liberate myself from purely personal links.

And while I'm not religious today I'm very proud to be a Jew, very proud of my heritage. I'm convinced there is a higher consciousness, though I don't necessarily mean God -- at least not a personal God who sees into the hearts and minds of men and women. The God I believe in is elevated above human concerns, indescribable and ineffable. I have a theory that God is actually the unconscious. The two are linked together. When a person meets his potential -- and I don't think any man can do it in his lifetime -- then he'll meet God. In any event, those are my religious beliefs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I found the G-d = unconscious very interesting. Especially since our understanding of the unconscious is still shrouded in mystery. The meeting potential comment is very significant however, how can we attempt to learn more about the connection, how the two are linked?
What would the method of study be? I am not trying to sound overly analytical as religion cannot be discovered through scientific methods, but I would like to further discuss the connection but am unprepared for the journey as I know not of my unconscious. I have been taught to override, train, adjust, adapt. Even in studying psychology, studies of the unconscious only hold so much weight (only because of humanity's lack of understanding). Just curious...
Tamar aka Kosher Chimichonga