A Kafkaesque Dream

peculiar dream: The evening following May 13, 1998: Sounds like a Kafka story.

I am being followed by several men. I do not know why they are following me, but I feel menaced. Finally, one of them approaches me. He says: "Do you know that we have been following you?" I say: "Yes." They say: "We have been tracking your activities for years." I say: "But why? Why are you following me?"

They say: "You owe large sums of money. We are approaching you now to tell you that if you do not pay us, we will take you to prison."

I: "But I don't remember anything. To whom do I owe this money?"

They: "You don't remember anything because you suffer from amnesia. But you have incurred large debts to various persons. And if you do not pay us, you will be imprisoned."

I: "But do I have any assets?

They: "No, you don't."

I: "If I have no assets, how can I repay this money you say I owe?"

They: "That's not our problem."

I feel utterly powerless. But then I say: "I could commit suicide. If I were to kill myself, you would never get your money. It seems to me that there are really two options here. It is not simply that you can imprison me. I might also kill myself: and you would get nothing because I have no assets."

They seemed stunned by this--as if they hadn't thought of this outcome. They then say: "You don't really owe any money. That was a ruse. We were following you for another reason. . .

I then wake up.

Events of previous day (May 13, 1998).

anniversary of Sigmund Freud's circumcision. I think of this all day. (Freud was late for his father's funeral: he was detained at the barber shop).

anniversary of my first visit to Dr. Sack in 1991.

I get a haircut at GW campus. (Puglisi) While I am in barber shop a customer comes in wearing a white coat. Young guy--must be GW med student.

Letter to Jerry Seinfeld refers to barbers and going to prison. Final Seinfeld episode scheduled for following night: May 14, 1998. Letter also refers to Shakespeare and Hamlet.

I add material to autobiography: section on Freud ("Creative Writers and Daydreaming") and Wagner (his toy theater, which was inheritance from step-father). (Like Shakespeare's "Globe").

I see a feature on local TV news about second mortgage scam artists who charge exhorbitant fees for second mortgage loans.

Secret Service would have received letter I sent detailing evidence of continued paranoid thinking.

The letter concludes with the statement: "They're spying on me." (like Polonius in Hamlet).

loans = Polonius (killed by Hamlet) = loan agreement = covenant = circumcision = castration = haircut = debts = surveillance = prison = guilt