Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Gary Sees a Hooker

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Gary Freedman, a middle-aged depressed white man

Cookie Williams, an African-American hooker

SCENE: The studio apartment of Gary Freedman

GARY FREEDMAN: Cookie, you're a definite artist. They should put your lips in the Smithsonian.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: It took you awhile. I didn't think you'd make it.

GARY FREEDMAN: I was having a little problem focusing. Finally, I got the right fantasy. I thought of a woman I saw on Pennsylvania Avenue and I coupled her with Svetlana Stalin. It's the daughter of the dictator. It worked.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: What do you take medicine for?

GARY FREEDMAN: Me? Depression.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: What are you depressed about?

GARY FREEDMAN: Depressed. Don't you ever get depressed? Doesn't your work get you down?

COOKIE WILLIAMS: It's okay. Beats the hell out of waitressing.

GARY FREEDMAN: It's funny. Every hooker I meet says it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's got to be the worst fucking job in the world. It's unbelievable.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: What are you sad about?

GARY FREEDMAN: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: What do you mean?

GARY FREEDMAN: I'm frightened. I got no soul. Know what I mean? See, when I was younger, it was less scary waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: You lost me.

GARY FREEDMAN: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know what a black hole is?

COOKIE WILLIAMS: Yeah. That's how I make my living.

GARY FREEDMAN: I gotta tell you, a great writer named Sophocles said it was probably best not to be born at all.

COOKIE WILLIAMS: Honey, it's a little too late for that.

2 comments:

Gary Freedman said...

This post is drawn from the Woody Allen movie, "Deconstructing Harry."

Anonymous said...

You are so fabulously quirky, pathetically refreshing, and truly a depressing hilarious sort!

Thanks for inviting us into your spirit (or lack of!)

andie