THE DIARIES: June 2001 to August 2003
6-13-01
I hope you enjoyed your visit. This is where [imaginary] Brian and I
have hot passionate sex. You know the great thing about Lewinskying a
guy with a two-inch penis? No gagging! Get it? Come back now, hear?
[At the outset of the diaries, I refer to librarian Brian Brown as "the
librarian." I pretend that I do not know his name. At the beginning of
the diaries, the individual identified as "Brian" is an imaginary
figure.]
6-14-01 I've decided to communicate with you every day. Tell your
friends to look into Sally. Crackpot Sally is a volunteer who waters the
plants in the library. She climbs up on chairs and takes other risks,
and if she slips and falls, and proceeds to sue the city -- Well, I'm
sure Tony would love that. She seems to be granted unusual privileges.
The librarian [Brian Brown] lets crackpot Sally use his computer in his
private office. What's up with that? Some time ago Sally sneered at me
prominently the Monday after I told law enforcement about "Mr.
Intellectual" and identified him by one of the books he had returned.
She had a look of "How dare you!" Lady, maybe you should douche your
brain instead of watering the plants. Happy Flag Day! God Bless America.
They should have fried TMV [Timothy McVeigh] -- literally.
[Attached is message from the Tenants Association with my marginal
notes:] Hi, 3801 Residents! The very last line of the recent Tenants
Association newsletter said: "Please remit to Jeannette Smoot, Treasurer
in Apartment 9." It should have said "Apartment 920." Also, should you
wish to join the Tenants Association, your check should be made payable
to 3801 Connecticut Tenants Association. Thank you for your interest and
attention! Julie Sherman, Association President. [My marginal note
reads:] Left outside my Apt on 6-14-01 (AM) not left in front of any
other apartments.
["Mr. Intellectual" is a middle-aged patron who lives in the
neighborhood. He visits the library several days each week and borrows
numerous books. He is tall and thin. He has the serious, piercing gaze
of an intellectual or highly-intelligent person. I've sensed for years
that he knows who I am. He doesn't appear to hold a conventional job.]
6-15-01 I have nothing to report today. Sorry. Yesterday was a slow news
day. One thing -- [the library patron named] Dave (Mr. Washington
Times) gave me that "invisible look" when he passed by me in the street.
Dave--that's
[Frank Green is now deceased. "Dave" still lives in the neighborhood.
Bruce Snyder now works at the Chevy Chase Branch of the DC Library.]
6-14-01 Look into Richard [Peyton Howard]. I have picked up vibes on him
since at least 1990, when I was still working. I have the feeling he
knows all about me -- confidential stuff. He is a graduate of Brown
University; I think he works for the U.S. Information Agency. He plays
tennis and goes to church. I think he's active with the Tenants
Association. I think he's creepy. What's his story? Say, aren't we
coming up on the anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo? More tomorrow.
6-19-01 The library staff were icy yesterday. I think they've been
ordered to have a more professional demeanor -- I owe that to you,
friend. But it won't last. I guarantee it. Did you look into Richard
[Peyton Howard]? What does he know? If Elizabeth Joyce doesn't come
clean, I will report her to the British Embassy. Riverside dinner with
riparian entertainment -- my ass ! ! Later, Dude. (Yosh [Shirazzi,
co-owner of the Brookville Supermarket,] looked angry yesterday.)
6-20-01 This morning, while I was riding on the elevator, here at 3801, a
tenant, David Grady, got on and pushed the button for the 2d floor --
using his middle finger. I'm still thinking about whether that was
intended as a message to me. David Grady is an attorney at Hogan &
Hartson, where I used to work. I told federal authorities about him.
Later, Dude.
6-21-01 Here's something to look into. Last spring and summer, a young
man used to visit the Cleveland Park Library to use the computer. His
name was Brad. Medium height, very good-looking, blondish hair, curly
hair, athletic appearance. He used to chat with Dave (Bruce Snyder's
friend). I used to think of Brad as "Dave's Boy-Toy." The librarian
[Brian] knew him by name. I can recall the librarian talking for some
time to Brad on one occasion. I think Brad used the computer as part of a
job search. I'm thinking of getting a masturbator for [the imaginary]
Brian -- but they don't sell his size -- extra-small. Bye-bye.
6-22-01 Look into the tenants in 247. He's Indian, about 50 years old.
His wife [Barbara D'Jebbour] is European stock. She's creative &
histrionic. They're very friendly with Elizabeth Joyce. The husband
chats with Joyce, and a few weeks ago, when Joyce was ill, the wife
comforted Joyce be stroking Joyce's cheek with her hand (THAT'S
intimacy). They travel a great deal. I think his car was stolen a time
ago. I may be mistaken, but I think the husband owns a liquor store in
Southeast, DC. See the connection? Note that Cleveland Park Liquor &
Wine (Where I make beer purchases) is owned by Indians. They may be
part of a subcontinental Mafia. Anyway, I get funny vibes from both
tenants in 247. This is serious. (Don't let those people fuck around
with you.)
[My impression of Frank and Barbara D'Jebbour is that they are a pair of grifters.]
6-23-01 Stop back on Monday.
6-25-01 Several startling developments: Early on Saturday afternoon,
about 1:00 PM, I was walking up Connecticut Avenue. "Mr. Intellectual"
was leaving the Brookville Supermarket. He saw me, had a slight startle
response, then looked straight ahead, with that invisible look. Upon
seeing me, he started to whistle. He ("Mr. Intellectual") has never
reacted to me like this before. I believe he was angry about my letter
to you dated 6-14-01 (that talked about him & Crackpot Sally). I
have been thinking about contacting the FBI for my own protection --
these people may gang up on me -- I can't rule out physical violence
against me. At least Freeh (Clinton's lackey) is gone. Tom Pickard is in
charge for now. In another development I have discovered that Dr.
Lawrence C. Sack may be a Communist. He subscribes to a publication "The
New Federalist" -- very anti-American. To think I paid over $300 to Dr.
Sack in 1991, before the party breakdown in Moscow. My money probably
went straight to party headquarters in the Kremlin via Comrade Sack.
([Imaginary] Brian and I went to Seaworld this weekend. I got lucky with
a hot female and Brian -- well, let's just say, Brian probably won't be
sitting down for a while.) Dolphin sex -- the phenom of the future.
6-26-01 Things were quiet in the library yesterday. An uneasy calm,
though. I feel they don't like my letters to you, and they feel helpless
about them. -- They would like me to stop, but they have no control in
the matter. -- A quiet desperation. They don't even try to elicit
evidence of paranoia, as if some authority has told them my powers are
real. Barbara largely ignored me. The librarian [Brian Brown] (who, for
some reason, didn't sit down at the information desk) also ignored me;
he chatted briefly with Peter (the aging fag volunteer). I picked up
negative vibes from Charles [Davis], the brother. [The patron named]
Tanner sat at my table; THAT was exciting. The double entendres centered
on "zoo animals" and "Judge Judy" and a person named "Peoples." What
will today bring? Parting is such sweet sorrow, friend.
6-27-01 Another quiet day yesterday. The librarians were at a meeting
while I was there. Hillary (the children's librarian) took the
information desk responsibilities. Double-entendres from Hillary were
"Nobel Prize," "fiction" (referring to the defamation of my character),
and "shipwreck" (a reference to Jack London's Sea-Wolf?) As I was
standing up and leaving the computer, "Mr. Intellectual" was entering
the library. He spotted me, and smiled -- He usually doesn't smile when
he sees me. Background on Caprice -- She was born in Mexico. She spent
time in a red Chinese prison. Trotsky was a family friend.
6-28-01 They were supposed to clean the windows yesterday. My windows
are still dirty -- another promise broken. No wonder I don't trust
people. Saw Dr. Shaffer for first time at Spring Road. Thought she was
fishing around for fears that she thinks I have about my SSA benefits
being cut off. Sign that she knows about these letters to you. She
thinks I write these letters (which I have never told her about) to make
a case that I'm crazy, so that SSA will continue my benefits -- as if
anybody who was under surveillance would not be concerned. I think the
thing is SHE'S afraid of her own job getting cut, especially in view of
the recent restructuring at P Street. Sat next to [library patron]
Carlos [Chalbaud] at the computer yesterday. I ejaculated in my pants --
quietly, of course, after all, it's a library! June 28, 1914 -- Francis
Ferdinand assassinated in Sarajevo. June 28, 1984 -- complaint filed in
Fed Court by David Tatel in Milwaukee School Desegregation case. Moral:
Whatever you start on 6-28 will never come to an end.
[Appended is page 845 of the August 2000 issue of "American
Psychologist" that lists my former therapist (August 1998 to June 1999),
Lisa A. Osborn, as having received her psychologist certification.
Includes handwritten note:] I took this from a journal left in the
library magazine exchange -- coincidence?
Interestingly, Dr. Shaffer was in fact later cut from the staff of the
DC Mental Health Department, in February 2003. She was unhappy with the
action, as evidenced by her filing a grievance with the union. My
suspicions about Dr. Shaffer's fear of termination, described in the
message on 6/28/01, may not have been unfounded.
I continue to see Carlos Chalbaud in the neighborhood. He seems to live
on Macomb Street. He is originally from Venezuela. He has the appearance
of a sweet, sensitive individual. He may be a student.]
6-29-01 Yesterday, someone left a gay (homosexual) publication ("The
Advocate") in the magazine exchange in the library. It's a special issue
of the magazine dealing with "The Millennium March on Washington," on
Wed 6-27-01. I told Dr. Shaffer about Aristotle [my name for "Ari" (last
name?)], the good-looking young guy who used to live here at 3801. I
described Aristotle to Dr. Shaffer as "A Walker." -- that he appeared to
take long walks [which I associated to "The Millennium March" for
homosexuals]. -- As I was sitting at the computer, the custodian [Alex
Chandler] who replaced Keith Peoples, bent down next to me and said:
"Does that feel better?" He was talking about the air conditioning that
had just been fixed. -- But I knew what he really meant. If he wanted to
ask me out, he should have just said so! Oh, brother!
7-2-01 This is [imaginary] Brian's idea of protection. I keep telling
him "It's not going to work, man!" [Attached is page from "Vanity Fair"
magazine that features a photo of a nude male model with an inflated
rubber toy covering "the area of interest."]
[Imaginary] Brian was here this weekend. You can never be too safe with
that guy. "He sleeps with the dolphins." Brian charges me a late fee if I
don't come on time. [Attached is a "LifeStyles" condom wrapper.] Did
you ever hear of such a thing? Brian's balls are in the shop right now
-- beyond repair.
7-3-01 Have the home office look into Richard & his wife -- I think
they live on the sixth floor. They are middle-aged, with grown children
-- both previously married. He is stocky and has white hair (a perfect
running mate for Ross Perot, I might add). They moved in while John
Reuss was still manager. Get the home office to look into them. I
thought I heard he was in real estate -- maybe I am wrong. Dr. Shaffer
was in a state yesterday. I thought she was especially aggressive, and
looking for an argument. I think these letters are getting to her. The
librarians have a noticeably different way of interacting around me.
Very cold, frigid. It's since I started communicating to you. It's
obvious to me they are reacting to something. -- That tells me my
letters are being read. (Richard's wife works out in the ex[ercise]
room.)
["Richard & his wife" later moved to 3701 Connecticut Avenue, a condominium.]
7-5-01 Elizabeth Joyce is very circumspect around me, knowing I will
report anything of interest that she says. I noticed in the library on
7-3-01 that Barbara seems really different. No more of that sucking-up
crap, like: "Oh, Mr. Freedman is our most conscientious patron. If we
can trust anyone, it's Mr. Freedman." What a passive-aggressive
ass-licker she is!! [The circulation desk employee] Pauline Jones was
back on Tuesday. The sister looked admiringly at me. She was using
heterosexual double-entendres. Carlos was there. I think somebody talked
to him about me. He no longer gives me that look like I'm gonna pull
him behind the stacks and hump his ass. -- Poor Carlos, I sure did give
him a scare for a while. The bricks [I stole from the building site at
3883 Connecticut Avenue] are in the oven -- makes great pizza.
7-6-01 Tell David Castleberry that he's got a problem with the tenant in
436. 436 has two bird feeders attached to the outside window. First,
that's a lease violation. Two, there's a potential negligence problem
for WRIT if those things fall off and bop somebody on the head or crash
through Elizabeth Joyce's windshield (especially, since it's a lease
violation that David has acquiesced in). Third, birdseed falls down on
my window ledge, and I get birds pecking on my window. Do I have to
contact WRIT to get management here to enforce leases? -- Find out why
the branch librarian [Brian Brown] has allowed, for years now, a patron
named J. Connolly to sleep at a table in the library. Connolly is
middle-aged. Gray hair. Uses (or sleeps in) library every day.
7-9-01 Here's your assignment for today: 1. Look into David Dickinson on
the 9th floor. He is a lawyer who's admitted to practice in California.
What's his story -- give me a report. -- 2. There used to be a married
couple on the first floor. They were both obese and had a little girl
named "May." Elizabeth would remember them. The woman once said to her
little girl (as she pointed to me) "May, that man doesn't like
children." (They were goof balls). Well, in April -- wouldn't you know, I
heard the woman chatting in a familiar way with Bruce Snyder, who's now
stationed at the Chevy Chase Branch of the DC Library System. Yesterday
I saw them at the Giant Supermarket. They moved from 3801 in about
1995.
7-10-01 1. I was thinking of contacting Judy Glassie [a management
employee at WRIT, which runs 3801 Connecticut Avenue] about a covenant
not to sue WRIT. Quid pro quo -- I agree not to sue, and WRIT lowers my
rent. What do you think? Talk to David Castleberry. It could, in the
end, be a good investment. I was thinking of contacting WRIT's
accountancy firm. 2. If I'm summoned for jury duty, I'm going to submit
the entire "archives" [that is, these messages] to the chief Judge as
material to the evidence placed in controversy by Chuck Reischel (Esq.)
about my mental state. Wait till Judge Johnson reads these letters: "Who
the hell is Brian?" [Imaginary] Brian was here last night. He said to
me: "Where do you want me to put the cigar?" I said: "In the ashtray."
He said: "Is that what you call it?" [A reference to President Clinton's
use of a cigar to stimulate Monica Lewinsky sexually.]
7-11-01 Went to the library yesterday. While Carlos was there, the
branch librarian [Brian Brown] was talking to Justin (who used to
volunteer at that branch). They talked about Rock Hudson -- and his
movies with Doris Day. Justin talked about being on a train -- there was
a drunk on the train -- The conductor was calling Justin's name over
the P.A. System. I might have all this confused, but I see it as related
to me. Then, the branch librarian was talking on the telephone to
somebody about the children's librarian at that branch. I thought that
was a reference to Anna Freud and her work as a child analyst. Just days
before I had added material to my autobiography about Anna Freud. [The
patron] J. Connolly mentioned that he lived in Brazil as a Peace Corps
volunteer. It just occurred to me that there were some other odd things
in the conversation yesterday (7-10-01) between Justin & the branch
librarian. Justin used the word "proclivities" a number of times and
mentioned "young boys." All the while, Carlos Chalbaud was at the
computer. Tell me that's just a coincidence!
[Attached is something cut out of a magazine: an ad for the year 1916
Tournament of Roses, Brown University vs. State College of Washington.
Includes my handwritten note:] The one bending over to receive is [Akin
Gump managing partner] Larry Hoffman. Brown class of 1918. Half-man,
half-amazing!
[Note that the phrase "the one bending over to receive" is a symbolic
reference to anal intercourse. Hoffman was the managing partner at Akin
Gump during my tenure. The sexual allusion to Hoffman suggests my
psychological act of discharging feelings of overstimulation by
fantasizing about Hoffman being anally raped.
Note a significant contemporaneous event: The CBS-TV reality show "Big
Brother 2" began airing on 7-5-01. The show has aired every summer since
the year 2000. "Big Brother 2" featured my favorite contestant, Hardy
Ames Hill -- an individual who might be termed a "moral narcissist."
Hill protected the weaker contestants against the aggression of the
stronger contestants. A newspaper article about the show referred to
Hill as "The Enforcer." At a later point in the season, an aggressive
contestant (who was angry with Hill) used Hill's toothbrush to scrub the
toilet in the guest house. Hill was enraged, and said at one point:
"You're fucking with the wrong bull, I'm telling you. You're fucking
with the wrong bull." My handwritten note "Half-man, half-amazing" is a
quote from a statement made by "Big Brother 2" contestant Will Kirby,
MD, about himself.]
7-12-01 The date today 7-12 reminds me of my 7th grade homeroom class
(712) -- the homeroom teacher was Miss Lillian Camaioni (pronounced CA -
ME - OH - NEE). She told my mama at a parent/teacher conference that I
was a "scholar and a gentleman" -- that was then (1965-1966). Look at me
now! -- Now, down to business. So, what's the story with Michael
Ellsberg (146) -- the Ellsberg kid? He graduated from Brown
[University]. Couldn't he get into Harvard? The Ellsberg smart genes
skip a generation? Maybe the kid's got toy trains on the brain. [Michael
Ellsberg's mother, Patricia Marx Ellsberg, was the daughter of Louis
Marx, the toy train manufacturer.] -- Dr. Shaffer is a nincompoop ! ! !
-- Interesting thing happened at the library yesterday (7-11). Insight
into Barbara. There were two good-looking jocks in the library, using
the computer (Chris Block & Mike Doyle). I noticed Barbara eyeing
Doyle. She seemed to get sexual pleasure out of it. (Personally I
thought Chris Block was the hot one). Then later, Barbara says to me:
"Oh, Mr. Freedman, this young man (pointing to Doyle's name on the
computer sign out sheet) just stepped out. I'm saving the computer for
him." THAT VIOLATES THE LIBRARY RULES. Then, I came back to the library
later in the afternoon. A guy named "Pablo" signed up for the computer,
then stepped out, and in the interim, Barbara the librarian called out
his (Pablo's) name. She put him down as a "no show" on the sign out
sheet (correct procedure). I guess if you're young, hot and f---able,
Barbara gives special privileges. Does this fit the profile of a
vindictive, passive-aggressive wench? -- Ask [former FBI profiler] Jack
Douglas. [Blocked off in corner of page:] The shit hits the fan corner.
I'm thinking of driving Dennis Race up the wall by sending out inquiries
to major law firms, requesting legal counsel to negotiate my covenant
not to sue WRIT -- mentioning that [former Akin Gump partner and later
Treasury Department General Counsel] Ed Knight approved the burglary of
my apt.
[Note that this is the first message that mentions Dennis Race. The
reference is associated with a negative comment about my psychologist,
Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D. This tends to confirm that whenever I'm feeling
angry (overstimulated) about anything (particularly my therapists), I
redirect (or discharge) my hostility (or overstimulation) to Dennis Race
in a passive-aggressive manner.
Psychoanalytically, note the association of the phrase "young, hot and
f---able" to the remote idea of burglary of my apartment (symbolically, a
violation or rape). The association to the idea of rape is related to
Daniel Ellsberg: the Nixon White House approved the burglary of
Ellsberg's psychiatrist's office. Ed Knight, a former Akin Gump partner,
was General Counsel of the Treasury Department (the rectum?
[psychoanalytically, gold = feces]) in the Clinton Administration. Note
the reference to "shit" [hits the fan] and the reference to Dr. Shaffer
as a nincom"poop."
Compare the message on 7-10 that refers to President Clinton's use of a
cigar to stimulate a vagina. Note my apparent confusion of vagina and
anus: an ashtray is a waste receptacle (like the anus or a toilet). The
joking reference (in the message on 7-10) confuses "ashtray" with
"vagina" (a receptacle for a penis or, in the case of Monica Lewinsky, a
cigar).
Oddly enough (or "oddly enough") it would be weeks later that, on the
CBS-TV series "Big Brother 2," a contestant used an implement
(toothbrush) that is intended for use in the mouth to scrub the toilet
(a receptacle for anal material). It is not beyond the realm of
possibility that I unconsciously identified the interpersonal relations
of the "Big Brother 2" contestants with early childhood relations in my
family, and, at some level, foresaw (or fantasized) the interpersonal
outcome of those disturbed relations. In any event, I subjectively
experience this material as uncanny. It's as if these messages in early
July symbolically adumbrate the later events on the TV series "Big
Brother 2," namely the action of the contestant Shannon in using Hardy
Hill's toothbrush to scrub the guest house toilet.
Perhaps Dr. Shengold would see this message (and those immediately
preceding it) as a significant expression of feelings of "too-muchness,"
overstimulation, and anal violation. See message on 7-11 that contains a
symbolic reference to the rape of Larry Hoffman, a graduate of "Brown"
University. The Branch Librarian at the Cleveland Park division is Brian
Brown.
In any event, this material supports the view that as early as the year
2001 I associated my experiences at the Cleveland Park Library to
feelings of overstimulation and anal rape.]
7-13-01 Yesterday (7-12) Elizabeth Joyce gave me, what I would call, an
exasperated look -- as if she wanted to say something, but, felt she had
to restrain herself and say nothing [note the projection of feelings of
"overstimulation" to Elizabeth Joyce, the front desk manager at my
apartment building]. I infer that something has been going on. Well, was
I right about [the library volunteer] Justin, or not? Amazing, eh?
Assignment: There used to be a front desk person here (I specifically
recall she was here in mid-1997) -- her name was Beverly -- She was a
sister. She seemed to fit Drew Weston's Type I personality: Good
language skills, perfectionistic, diligent, self-motivated, preoccupied
with food & eating. She was especially friendly with Elizabeth, the
tenant from Australia (Rickey's honey). What's Bev's story?
7-16-01 Yesterday morning (7-15-01) about 9:30 AM, walking home from the
supermarket I walked past one of the former volunteers at the Cleveland
Park Library. It was in front of 3801 Connecticut. She gave me an
obscene look -- as only someone who knew about me would do. I don't know
her name. She is short, pudgy, walks around with a Walkman radio, light
hair & looks like a mongoloid (Down's Syndrome). Also last week,
someone left the following issue of Smithsonian in the library magazine
exchange. Was it a reference to Paul Bloom, Ph.D., or Harold Bloom -- or
both? [Attached is Smithsonian magazine cover for the April 2000 issue
featuring a picture of a flower with the caption "The Art of the
Flower." I don't recall now who Paul Bloom, Ph.D. is.]
[The library volunteer, identified as a Down's Syndrome victim, still lives in the neighborhood.]
7-17-01 The atmosphere in the library yesterday was FRIGID -- and I'm
not talking about the air temperature. Barbara was acting out in her
passive aggressive way.
[Imaginary] Brian was here last night. He said to me: "Would you be
angry with me if I cracked your head open with this carpet sweeper."
(Brian swings carpet sweeper). I said: "Does this mean you don't want to
sweep with me anymore?"
[Parody of both "Big Brother 2" and a Seinfeld episode.]
7-18-01 I sat across from Julian Bond on the northbound Red Line,
yesterday afternoon (about 1:45 PM). He was wearing light tan pants,
yellow print tie, and a seersucker jacket. He was reading the "Science"
section of the NY Times. I thought: "There's one brother who doesn't buy
custom-made shirts." But as Vernon Jordan would say: "Maybe he should."
7-19-01 This is a [vacation] postcard that my dear friend Jesse Raben
sent back to the folks at my old firm [Akin Gump]. He says that all he
does is sleep, ski, and eat. Of course, he left out the most important
thing -- [the] flossing.
[Attached is postcard from Killington, Vermont addressed to Constance
Brown: "Dear Constance & the file room -- Skiing is wonderful.
Vermont is beautiful. I really hope you guys are not working too hard
while all I do is sleep and ski and eat. Anyway -- I hope to see you
Tuesday -- Jesse"].
[Fortunately, Raben didn't say: "P.S. Enjoyed the cabin." Then -- THEN -- I'd start to worry.]
-- In Memoriam -- Katherine Graham -- She outlived John Mitchell and she kept her tits after all.
[Refers to the death of Washington Post owner, Katherine Graham. Former
Attorney General John Mitchell had made a crude remark about Graham
during the Watergate matter, to which the message alludes.]
7-20-01 I have noticed that since I communicated to you about J.
Connolly (the middle-aged white male who sleeps in the library), he
looks intently at me when he sees me -- not angrily, or with any
emotion, just the appearance of the physical behavior of looking. As I
say, he didn't look at me this way in the past. Why do you think that
is? Thelma (a tenant here) [now deceased] was talking to Elizabeth Joyce
yesterday (7-19) -- You know, Thelma? She's friendly with that nut job,
Anne Gaddis (is that her name? -- I think even Elizabeth Joyce, who is
friendly with everyone, finds Anne Gaddis hard to take) -- well,
Elizabeth was talking to Thelma about Thelma's dental and eye problems,
and Thelma said she'd talk to Elizabeth on Sunday -- that's what I think
I heard. Is Elizabeth working on Sunday? Did I hear correctly? Listen, I
have a complaint. There are these couple of young people (girl and guy)
-- I think one or both moved in a couple of months or weeks ago -- they
drive a dark green SUV and sometimes park out under my window. Well, I
had previously formed the impression that they were unusually loud --
even rowdy -- well, late yesterday afternoon or early evening (around
6:20 PM), they were drunk and rowdy, they drove up the driveway hooting
and hollering, and dropped off a couple of Styrofoam coolers, numerous
beer cans, what looks like a wine bottle with a cork in it -- I'm
looking at the crap right now (8:00 AM 7/20). Well, they dumped that
crap by the driveway side of the tool shed. Ask Sergio [one of the
housekeepers] about it, -- he's parked just next to it. Well, I don't
care about the mess (I can be a pig myself) -- but, the crows got to it,
and, man, you would not believe how those crows went at that stuff --
like a bunch of kids at Disneyworld!! I thought it was a person out
there. I looked, and it was like I was in some Hitchcock movie [with all
the crows pecking at the trash]. Dark green SUV -- Check it out -- Hope
to get lucky this weekend. Later, --
7-23-01 The pigs with the dark green SUV dumped a bit more trash out by
the tool shed on Saturday. The clean-up guy who came Sunday morning
(7-22) had to clean it up. I caught the license no. -- TEXAS LICENSE NO.
RCZ 52L -- It's a jeep Grand Cherokee -- (Dark Green) -- probably
friends of Bob Strauss. Friday afternoon Jerry Zwirn came to visit at
the library & chatted with Velvel Dacosta. Jerry used to be a
librarian at Cleveland Park -- till he retired earlier this year. The
branch librarian [Brian Brown] talks in hushed tones when he talks about
where Jerry went -- obviously, the branch librarian (I think his name
is Brown) doesn't want me to know where Jerry is. Anyway, in the
conversation between Dacosta and Jerry Z., Dacosta used words and
phrases that I thought were directed at me, symbolically.
Dacosta used the phrases:
The Central Library -- [a manifest reference to MLK] which I took to be a [symbolic] reference to my old high school
Brian is going on vacation (whoever "Brian" is) Jesse Raben's vacation in Vermont?
I don't know where he's going. He's not going to Italy (I went to Italy 23 years ago) Jesse Raben's vacation in Vermont?
10-mile hike -- possible reference to Aristotle [Ari], who used to be a tenant at 3801
Hold -- masturbation
Cute -- something sexual there -- Jesse Raben was not cute -- he was smooth but masculine, his hands were milky white
"For the birds" -- Jesse Raben (Raben = Raven) [Raben = Raven = Crow, see message at 7/20/01]
7-24-01 Yesterday (7-23), at the library, somebody ripped-off Barbara's
wallet. Don't you know, Hillary asks ME and only ME if I saw anything.
So if I'm observant and see things, I'm labeled "paranoid." But if I
don't see anything -- like who it was who stole Barbara's wallet, then
I'm no good either. Did you have David Castleberry talk to those pigs
from Texas who dumped their trash by the tool shed? You should do that.
Let that be your assignment for today. Pauline [Jones] & Charles
Davis in the library had good feelings about me yesterday -- I could
tell -- it's one of my powers.
7-25-01 Yesterday, at the library another strange coincidence occurred.
In the magazine exchange someone had left a magazine on top of the
others. The magazine was the March 2000 issue of "Outside" -- a sports
magazine for outdoorsmen. The magazine was folded in a way that the
contents of two pages were revealed. Over to the side [pointing arrow], I
show you how it appeared. One page has the words "It's not a feeling
you can get" -- the facing page depicts a man swimming with dolphins.
[See message dated 6/20/01.] Incidentally, the head librarian started
his vacation on Monday -- I think his name is Brown. Do you believe them
-- they are so blatant! I'm thinking of sending this to the FBI
("Freaks Behind the Instigating").
7-26-01 This past weekend (7/20-7/21) I heard David Dickinson (or the
person I think is David Dickinson -- I don't really know who he is)--
well, Dickinson was in the lobby talking to a young lady about "Matsui."
I had no idea who that was. All I heard was "Matsui, Matsui," -- and
references to the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII. Then,
yesterday, I found out that "Matsui" is Robert Matsui, a Congressman
from California. -- Your assignment for today -- Find out what David
Dickinson has to do with Matsui -- and what Matsui has to do with all
this. Get on it! David Dickinson is openly bi-coastal.
[Dickinson is originally from California, and is licensed to practice law there.]
7-27-01 Not much to report. I picked up a possible reference to Toni
Morrison at the library yesterday. --"It's not LIKE anything else."
That's what Professor Morrison says: "I'm not LIKE Faulkner, I'm not
LIKE -- etc." When I was at Cleveland Park Liquor yesterday to pick up a
six-pack -- the chief guy -- the "Nabob" -- he had that admiring
quality and Robbie had a funny quality to his "Thank you." Elizabeth
Joyce has been in this "walking-on-eggshells" state since I've been
writing to you. Does she know she'll be prosecuted if the authorities
find out about her activities? -- It would be a shame if she spends the
last years of her life behind steel bars. ASSIGNMENT: What does Darla
know? -- She's Elizabeth's bosom buddy.
[Darla used to work in the rental office at 3801.]
7-30-01 Brief message -- But it's a major assignment: Neil Sagot's first
wife, Lois Sagot, had a close friend named Flossie -- find out what she
knows. FOR THE COINCIDENCE FILE: A day after I mentioned Robert Matsui
to you, the following issue of Sports Illustrated made its way to the
top of the magazine pile at the library. [Attached is cover of Sports
Illustrated for May 28, 2001 featuring a photo with caption: "Red Hot.
Japanese sensation Ichiro Suzuki of the Seattle Mariners."]
7-31-01 Mailing in my attorney license form, I got to thinking about
what happens when I send these documents ("The Archives") to the U.S.
District Court -- as submit them I perforce must.-- If I am summoned for
jury duty. As you know Neil Sagot (a Pennsylvania lawyer) filed a
fraudulent lawsuit on behalf of my brother-in-law in 1977. That's fraud.
Is there a statute of limitations to that? When Judge Johnson reads
these documents, what will she do? Can I direct her not to read certain
passages? Can I make it known that I never colluded in insurance fraud,
illegality, or any act of moral turpitude (other than masturbating on
the roof of 3801 Connecticut Avenue)?
8-1-01 My brother-in-law had a friend Arthur Calhoun ("Art") -- they
rented office space in the same suite. Art attended my mother's funeral
in 1980. Art liked to dabble in homosexual liaisons. He and his wife,
Joy Calhoun, divorced. Find out what Joy knows -- they had a son named
Chris who would be about 30 years old now.
"For the German-Jewish Emigre File." In the early 1940's my mother
worked with a young female German-Jewish immigrant named Hertha. In
about 1945, Hertha married another German-Jewish immigrant named Helmut
Haas. They got married on a Saturday evening (after sundown -- of
course!). My mother attended the wedding. Helmut & Hertha Haas later
lived down the street from us on the 1600 block of Barringer Street in
Philadelphia. They had a young daughter. Hertha said that Claire Brister
[1613 Barringer Street] tried to befriend her. I think Hertha said she
didn't care for Claire -- Can you imagine? Maybe Chuck Strauss knew the
Haas family.
I have a theory that Elizabeth Joyce is actually the illegitimate
daughter of Adolf Hitler and the Queen Mother (Elizabeth Bowles). If you
think about it, it all begins to make sense.
Joyce was born in 1930
She speaks with a British accent
She's from London
She doesn't talk about her father (Let's face it -- if Hitler were your father, would you be talking about him?)
She works in a confined area behind the front desk -- and seems happy
doing it (consistent with her being raised in the basement of Windsor
Castle).
She won't retire, just like her half-sister, Elizabeth Windsor
She used to manage properties -- again, like the Queen.
8-2-01 I've been watching a summer TV show called "Big Brother" -- on
CBS 3x/week. It's been on since July 5, 2001. Tuesday July 31, 2001, I
talked about the show for the first time with Dr. Shaffer, my
psychologist. I offered Dr. Shaffer some of my observations and insights
about the show. The show was on last summer -- last summer, the show
featured a consultant (Dr. [David Drew] Pinsky) who gave his
observations about the interpersonal stuff on the show. Where is this
leading you ask? Yesterday, at the library (8-1-2001), on the top of the
magazine exchange was the attached issue of the NY Times Book Review
(7/29/01) folded in such a way, as shown below, that the phrase
"Reviewed by Robert Pinsky" appears noticeably.
8-3-01 In early October 1987, Daniel Cutler told me that, sometime
previous, he had been to a party where he witnessed local TV anchorman
Jim Vance using cocaine. Check this out. It was Daniel Cutler who I
believe purchased marijuana on company time [at Hogan & Hartson] and
distributed it to selected coworkers in about April 1987. Message for
Judge Johnson -- Ignore this page!
8-6-01 I had a really paranoid experience at the barber on Friday (8-3).
First of all, the owner "The Maestro" (Puglisi) wasn't there. A young,
good-looking (but slightly chubby), Spanish-speaking guy cut my hair. By
the way, excellent haircut, dude! But, anyway, the young barber used
words and phrases that seemed aimed at me personally, and [it seemed]
that he knew about my personal background, and [that he was] referring
to personal facts. (The possibility is that someone who read my dream
"Prelude to a Bris" -- about Jerry Seinfeld (May '98), [and] mentions Il
Maestro (Puglisi) -- and that someone contacted the shop. Anyway, I
thought the barber was testing me -- trying to see if he could get me
hot and bothered. I could give you the words and phrases he used, but
that would be meaningless to an outsider, like you. Later--
8-7-01 A few interesting developments yesterday. I saw Carlos [Chalbaud]
yesterday, as I was walking home from the library. He averted his gaze.
But he had a pained expression on his face. (It reminded me of the
expression that David Callet, Esq. had, sometimes, when I saw him). Why
would that be? What is Carlos reacting to? You tell me!
Earlier, I had confirmation of my insightfulness about Barbara, the
librarian. A young man (with his small child) wanted to use the library
telephone at the information desk. His name was Robert. -- Like it was
something really important. Barbara said: "We're really not supposed to
let patrons use the phone -- but go ahead. Make it brief." Robert
proceeded to use the phone to place an order for Mexican food! -- So she
lets the young attractive guy break the rules. A brief time later, an
old woman (nanny) with a couple [of] small children asked Barbara if she
would place a call for the old woman for a cab. Barbara turned her away
-- and suggested the old woman use the pay phone at CVS across the
street. Do I know Barbara? You tell me! Exactly as I pointed out before.
If you're not young, male, and fuckable, don't bother asking Barbara
for a favor. As Anna Freud would say: "He was right the first time."
8-9-01 Slow news day yesterday. I had the feeling, though, that Barbara
the librarian knew what I wrote about her to you. I have to tell you, --
after my morning shower -- especially in the summer, I like to walk
around my apartment naked -- totally nudam -- as the ancient Romans
would say. I think it gets to those Clark construction guys -- I like to
fuck with their heads. By the way, I got the message about the WRIT
survey. I can't promise I won't tell them about Elaine Wranik and the
other related & crazy goings on here. Sorry, dude.
[At the time Clark Construction Company was building an apartment
adjacent to 3801 Connecticut Avenue. My apartment window was directly
across from the construction site.
The Washington Real Estate Investment Trust (WRIT) sent a resident satisfaction survey to residents to fill out.]
8-9-01 Pardon the mess in here, but I'm on a roll. In fact, I'm too busy to write today.
8-10-01 I filled out that survey & gave it to David Castleberry to
mail in. We really need on-line rent payment! Could you talk to David or
Judy [Glassie] about that? Yesterday, I assigned special meaning to
certain phrases the librarians used. Barbara referred, in a loud tone to
"CIA" or "Central Intelligence Agency" & Velvel used the word
"scenario." In the magazine box, there were a lot of magazines about
astronomy. (Galileo, Berendson?)
[Richard Berendson, an astronomer, is the past president of American
University, where I earned an LL.M. degree. He was a victim of child
sexual abuse, and wrote a book about his experiences. I formed the
impression that Akin Gump managers had contacted Berendson.]
8-13-01 Yesterday (Sunday) I went to the Brookville market to buy a
tomato. [The owner] Mike Shirazzi saw me, and noticeably and
unmistakably turned away & avoided eye contact. He usually says
hello. Assignment for today: My brother-in-law had a friend named Bert
Shaman, who, I believe, was a few years older than my brother-in-law.
Bert's wife's name was Esther. Bert had a brother who was religious and
moved to Israel. Find out more about the Shaman meshpuchah.
Incidentally, Wednesday is Vernon Jordan's birthday -- what do we get
him?
8-14-01 This is background on my sister -- specifically, her romantic
involvements prior to her meeting her future husband in February 1965 --
when she was 17 years old. It won't take more than a page. My sister
met her future husband by way of a friend at my sister's high school (an
all-girls school). Coincidentally, my brother-in-law had previously
"dated" the older sister of Alice Diamond, who was a classmate of mine
in the 7th grade (Wagner Jr. High). I guess you could say the Diamond
family's gain was the Freedman family's loss. Alice Diamond played
violin in the school orchestra. I once told her that she resembled Queen
Victoria. My sister had one previous "boyfriend." He was the cousin of
my sister's close friend Nedda Weiss (nee Cohen). He was a few years
older than my sister, and was a student at the University of
Pennsylvania -- my sister was in the 11th grade at the time. I don't
remember his name. I have to laugh when my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer,
praises my sister's social adjustment. Basically, my sister was conned
by a psychopath at age 17.
8-15-01 Brief note -- but big assignment. Gabriella Komlos. Pennsylvania
State University, BS, May 1975 (Nutrition Major). Parents were
concentration camp survivors from Hungary (Magyar). (Note the
preoccupation with food, as evidenced by her field of study). [See
Freedman, M. "Survivor Guilt and the Pathogenesis of Anorexia Nervosa,
"Psychiatry," February 1985.] We attended the same Junior High School
(Wagner Jr. High). She played violin in the school Orchestra. She
spotted me once at Penn State -- during a performance of Handel's
Messiah at Christmas time. She noticed I didn't stand during the singing
of the Hallelujah Chorus.
8-16-01 So, what did you end up getting Vernon Jordan for his birthday? I
didn't get him anything. What did he ever do for me? We all know the
answer to that. I don't have much to talk about today. I saw Carlos on
the street yesterday. I don't see him in the library anymore. What
happened? Did Carlos get his own computer? I have a funny feeling about
that tenant who lives with his young son. He used to smile when he saw
me. Now he looks at me really strangely. You know who I mean? He speaks
with a British-like accent -- Like South African or something. Where do
you get these creeps?
[The son's name was "Sebastian."]
8-17-01 I had a big one this morning -- man, did that white sticky stuff fly! I don't have any material left to share-- See ya.
8-20-01 I have another different assignment for you, but I know you can
do it, brother. As you know, in 1990 I told Dr. Palombo that I had a
classmate in elementary school named Susan Marks; she had a genius level
IQ. Well, of course, Dr. Palombo told "The Powers that Be" and they
contacted Susan Marks (in 1990 & perhaps thereafter). Susan Marks
would have graduated from the Philadelphia High School for Girls ("Girls
High") in the year 1970 (211th graduating class). What I never told
anyone is that Susan Marks had a female cousin, the same age as she, who
was in my seventh grade homeroom class at Wagner Junior High School. I
do not recall the cousin's name. The cousin's mother (Susan Marks' aunt)
died when the Marks cousins were about 11 years old. (Cancer, I
believe).
8-21-01 This is just a reminder. As you know I had two school mates in
elementary school (K-6) (Rowan Elementary School -- "Education is not a
mere means to Life -- Education is Life" -- if you don't get it, you
don't get it.) They were fraternal twins -- Steven and Howard Chanin.
[Central High School, 229th class, 1970.] I knew them in high school.
Their parents owned a grill eatery in the neighborhood. They majored in
psychology at Penn State. What you may not know is that they had two
older brothers. One of their older brothers was a mathematical genius
(literally). -- Robert Chanin. He went to Penn State as a Guggenheim
Scholar (225th Class CHS). He was smarter than [Stanford University Math
Professor] Robert Osserman -- but probably not as smart as Earl Segal.
(Yea, sure!)
8-22-01 Who's the new guy in apt 137? Is he an orgy guy? Do you think
David Castleberry would let me punch a hole through the wall between 136
& 137? Invite some folks over -- and let the good times roll.
Plenty of egress and ingress. Know what I mean? I could invite my
[imaginary] friend Brian -- his two-inch penis would be a real
conversation piece (Message for Blair -- Give my regards to Tootie and
Mrs. Garrett -- Thanks).
8-23-01 As you know I had a friend in elementary school named Lee Fuiman
and that on one occasion I went to Lee Fuiman's birthday party at his
house. What I never told anybody was that there was another kid at the
party -- another classmate named Raymond Weisbein (a smartass). Weisbein
also went to my high school. At the Fuiman birthday party Weisbein said
to me: "I wish you hadn't been invited, Freedman," and he proceeded to
tell me how he disliked me. Then in September 1967 -- freshman algebra
in high school, Weisbein complained to the teacher (Mr. Nicholas Grant)
that he (Weisbein) thought the teacher assigned too much homework. (As I
said: --Smartass). Well, the teacher blew up at Weisbein -- "If you
want less homework, there are a lot of other high schools where you can
get less homework -- Go to Olney, or Germantown, or South Philadelphia."
I thought: "Payback time, baby, payback time." By the way, did you ever
stop to think that Urbana spelled backwards is "Anabru" -- if you don't
get it, you don't get it.
[Lee Fuiman, Ph.D. is now a marine biologist.]
8-24-01 Someone I forgot to mention from High School freshman algebra:
Joe Breitman. He's now a dentist and a member, a proud member, a proud,
card-carrying member of the Scottish-Jewish Defense League. Arlen
Specter truly represents Breitman's interests in the U.S. Senate. Also,
please don't tell Elizabeth Joyce that I steal tea bags & Sweet
& Low. She doesn't know and doesn't need to know.
[Breitman played the bagpipes in high school.]
8-30-01 I had a session with my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer yesterday. It
was a wild scene. She became really discombobulated. If you heard a tape
of it you'd really be shocked by her behavior -- she regressed really
bad. She doesn't seem to understand I could really screw her. I was
thinking of starting up a "pen pal" relationship with a staff attorney
(anyone would do -- maybe Ross Wiener, Esq.) at the Justice Department.
Not any inflammatory things -- Just my thoughts and feelings. That guy
is going to wonder -- "What the hell is going on here--? Why can't he
discuss these things with his therapist?" It will be the beginning of
the end for Dr. Sh--. Believe me that crap is neither beyond me nor
behind me (no pun intended). I can fire the missiles from the silo at
any time. Anyway, I couldn't even talk about anything that was on my
mind yesterday. And Dr. Sh-- is the only outlet I have. Can you say
EXTREME LACK OF EMPATHY boys and girls? Help me! HELP ME! It may be my
imagination, or my projection -- but it just seems to me that she
becomes really difficult to work with at some sessions immediately
preceding a holiday. The last session where she went off,
coincidentally, was in late June -- just before July 4th. Then THE WORST
session I ever had with her was one just before Christmas in 1999 (I
think it was Dec. 22, 1999). She spent the whole session bitching about a
letter I had written to Dr. [Albert H.] Taub in late October '99 --
which she had just received. She was in a terrible state about that.
Talk about hypersensitive. I have more to say -- But, I'll save it for
tomorrow. By the way, do you have the address for the Justice
Department?
[Ross Wiener, Esq., practiced law at The Department of Justice. I
suspected (but never confirmed) that he was the son of the late Jerry M.
Wiener, MD, former head of the psychiatry department at GW. Dr. Wiener
had a son named Ross who would have been the same age as Ross Wiener,
Esq.]
8-27-01 Assignment. My brother-in-law had a cousin Joyce Norman (nee
Robbins). She was divorced from her first husband, Freddie Norman.
Freddie Norman, I believe, graduated from Penn State. My
brother-in-law's parents resided in a duplex apartment -- Joyce Norman's
parents, Sam & Francis Robbins, lived upstairs. Look into Freddie
Norman -- what does he know, and when did he know it? Report back to me.
Message for Carlos -- Hector is very lonely. Won't you come and play
with Hector?
8-28-01 Fall 1971 -- 30 years ago -- Freshman year at college (Penn
State -- Abington campus). I took a course in philosophy taught by
George Frederick Rieman -- (Yes, just like the famous mathematician of
the same name). In that class were two people I had known previously--
William ("Bill") DeVuono -- Central High School (230th class) [and]
Gloria Goldsmith -- Wagner Junior High School, 7th & 8th grades. Get
me a report! ASAP
8-29-01 I thought I'd give you a break today. I know you've been working
hard. -- I've given you some major assignments. I'm still waiting for
your reports. Get them to me ASAP. By the way, I noticed this morning
that Elizabeth Joyce has a new attitude about my tea bag/Sweet-Low
proclivities. A hands-off policy. So you talked -- when I asked you not
to!
8-31-01 Ninth grade English class. Elliott Cades ("Ming the Merciless")
was the teacher (1903-1986). This was school year 1967-68. A student
named Elliott Feldman sat next to me. He was supersmart. We didn't say
anything to each other all year. But in about June 1968 I came to school
in bright yellow pants (canary-shit color). Feldman said: "Wow."
There's a lawyer in Philadelphia named Elliott R. Feldman (born 4-15-54)
BA/JD Temple U (summa cum laude/cum laude). Do you think it's the same
person? Look into that -- will you please? Thanks. I'm fed up with Dr.
Sh-- for now.
9-3-01 How was your holiday? I gave you a break yesterday. I hope you
appreciate that! Now let's get down to business: from August 1980 -
August 1983 I resided at an apartment house in downtown Philadelphia,
"The Sylvania House." Address -- 1324 Locust Street -- Apartment 415,.
(I lived there immediately prior to relocating to 3801 Connecticut, DC).
My next-door neighbor during the (ran out of ink--sorry) entire period
(8/80-8/83) was an individual named E. Chambers Fowler (E. = Edward).
Subject was a white male, between 35-45 years of age. A practicing
homosexual. Worked at PSFS -- a local bank (Philadelphia Saving Fund
Society). Subject was a Navy veteran. Subject visited mother every
weekend. Left after work, Friday afternoon and returned Sunday night.
Apartment manager was a woman named "Claire" (last name unknown) --
appeared to be Jewish.
9-5-01 This is going back a ways. I don't know if you will find anything
on this: During the period August 1979 - August 1980 I lived in
Spokane, Washington (then represented in Congress by Akin Gump partner
Thomas Foley.) I resided at E15 1/2 Augusta, Spokane 99207. My next-door
neighbor was an older gentleman who rode a motorcycle. His name was
Dale Green. The rental agent was James T. Bertis Realty. My telephone
no. was (509) 322-2017. I ran a drug-smuggling operation from that site.
Did a lot of business with the Pacific rim.
9-6-01 I saw Dr. Ruttenberg for the first time yesterday (9-5). She
recommended that I take anti-psychotic medication (Zyprexa). She says
you don't really come into my apartment every day. Silly Lady!! I think
I'll try it (the med). It won't work, because my ideas are not
delusions. I'm going to send out letters soliciting legal counsel for a
lawsuit against Akin Gump. Put down in writing the whole crap about the
guns, the fears of homicide. The "purely coincidental" fact that the
U.S. Secret Service refused to investigate while at the same time a
former Akin Gump partner (Ed Knight) was General Counsel of Treasury.
This is going to every major law firm -- with Dennis Race's telephone
number on it. But hey -- If my thinking is delusional & the meds
work, of course, I'll stop writing the letters -- get it? Dr. Ruttenberg
is going to have heck to pay!!!
[Note again that my anger toward my psychiatrist is redirected to Dennis Race.]
9-7-01 I gave a lot of thought to the matter and have decided on the
following course of action. I will forward to Dennis Race and Dr.
Ruttenberg (and the U.S. Attorney) a copy of (1) the informed consent
statement I submitted to Dr. Taub & (2) the statement affirming my
continued adherence to a body of beliefs, placed in controversy by the
Corporation Counsel, -- beliefs termed delusional. I will include a
Consent to Release confidential psychiatric information to Akin Gump. I
will request Dennis Race to review the documents & advise Dr.
Ruttenberg of any facts about which he or his partners have first-hand
knowledge that would affect Dr. Ruttenberg's diagnostic determination
that my beliefs are delusional and her medical recommendation (which I
will accept) that I take anti-psychotic drug(s). -- If Dennis Race does
not provide to Dr. Ruttenberg information material to her decision to
prescribe a neuroleptic (which I will take) -- that's the material
current harm. I will then advise D. Race that I plan to find a lawyer
& sue Akin Gump. To make a long story short -- I vote to evict
Dennis Race.
9-10-01 Here are some more people you may want to look into: I believe
one or more of the following persons have been contacted by Akin Gump:
Michael Strong, MD: Cardiothoracic surgeon, now affiliated with Hahneman
Hospital in Philadelphia. Operated on my father in 1976. Born in 1941.
Gerald Lemole, MD: Cardiologist -- Head of my father' surgical team. Nationally prominent cardiologist.
Mehmet Oz, MD: Nationally prominent cardiologist -- son-in-law of Dr.
Lemole. Article about Dr. Oz in The NY Times Magazine in about the year
1995.
[Arrow pointing left.] This is a mint condition $4.00 magazine. Take it
back if you want it. It's a "sin" to throw these things away. What about
poor sick people in hospitals?
9-11-01 Do you notice that it's getting darker and darker in here? I
think Clark [Construction Company] just got it's own little easement --
Ask Earl about that. Did they pay you for that? You know the electric
usage is going to go up here, because this entire side of the building
[will be dark] -- Tenants will have to have their lights on all day long
when they're home. Suggestion, don't rent any apartments on this side
of the building to retired people or psychotics like me. If you ask me,
Judy [Glassie] ought to call Clark and tell them: "Just pull the whole
thing down, put the dirt back where you found it -- and replant the
trees!!"
9-12-01 The bombing in New York yesterday reminded me of an additional
person you need to look into: During the summers of 1975 & 1976 I
worked at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia with a young woman
named Joan Fleischman. Subject was a college student enrolled at Temple
University. I believe Akin Gump contacted subject in the spring or
summer of 1991. Akin Gump was probably alerted to subject by Sid Dorfman
(Central High School, 1966, 225th class) (Temple U., B.S., 1970). Ask
Dorfman about the great snow storm on Christmas eve 1966. Anyway,
Fleischman's parents were Jewish immigrants from Nazi Germany. She
stated that from her parent's stories she herself was terrified of
bombings and flying glass. Remember 1938? Very bad year.
9-12-01 [supplement] You may not believe this, but I wrote the following
note before I heard about the buildings being leveled in NYC yesterday
-- Amazing, huh?
[Refers back to statement in message dated 9-11-01 -- "If you ask me,
Judy [Glassie] ought to call Clark and tell them: "Just pull the whole
thing down, put the dirt back where you found it -- and replant the
trees!!"]
9-13-01 I have uncovered what may prove to be an important lead in this
case. This concerns Jerrold Zwirn ("Jerry"). Subject was employed as a
full-time librarian at the Cleveland Park Branch of the DC library
system from at least 1991 until his resignation from the system earlier
this year. He now works for an as yet unidentified employer. Subject
worked closely with the head librarian [Brian Brown] (a nice young man,
whose name escapes me). I believe subject (Zwirn) had full access to all
the information about me that was channeled to the library staff. I
have just learned that subject served as a "community observer," for a
study of the DC Superior Court carried out by the Council for Court
Excellence. Subject is also a veteran of the U.S. Army and is originally
from New York City. Your assignment -- Look into this.
[Attached is cover of report "Council for Court Excellence. Report and
Recommendations of the Court Community Observers Project in the District
of Columbia Superior Court and its Civil Division. July 2001." Includes
handwritten note:] I may contact Chief Judge King about this.
9-14-01 I know this has been a rough week, so I won't give you an
assignment.-- Just some information. 1. Tom Pierce in 926 is a
homosexual 2. Jeremy Schwartz in 429 is a lawyer. Also, I need a report
on Jerry Zwirn. Did you find out anything?
[I did not know either Tom Pierce or Jeremy Schwartz.]
9-18-01 First -- Medication -- As you know my psychiatrist has
recommended antipsychotic meds, but refuses to provide a written
informed consent. I did some research; under AMA policies, a doctor is
strongly recommended to provide written informed consent (AMA Policy
E-8.08). Check out the AMA website. Also under the D.C. Code, the
ethical standards set by the various medical professional organizations
are enforceable under District law. If Dr. "R" refuses to provide
written informed consent I may contact the U.S. Attorney's Office. Also,
Dr. "R" used fallacious reasoning in refusing to provide a written
informed consent. She said basically, "Since I am not requiring that you
take meds, that is, you may refuse treatment, I (Dr. R) have no duty to
sign a statement." WRONG!! The triggering event for informed consent is
the patient's act of embarking on a treatment procedure. The triggering
event for informed consent is not that the patient is required to
embark on a treatment or procedure. Poor reasoning, Dr. R! Under the AMA
policy statement I have a right to know:
1. What is my diagnosis
2. The nature and purpose of the treatment (if my thinking is delusional, what portion of my thinking constitutes the delusions)
3. Risks/benefits - (If I take meds, will I no longer believe I was
terminated illegally? Will I no longer believe my supervisor is a
court-adjudicated racist?)
4. Alternatives (regardless of cost, or availability at Spring Rd)
5. Risks/Benefits of alternatives
6 Risk/Benefits of not receiving alternative care
Also, your night [front desk] person, Stanley, is a nut case. This
morning before 7:00 AM, I got some coffee and was looking through the
discarded mail. I did this for about 45 seconds. Stanley saw me, was
watching me, and didn't say a word, when I walked over to the discard
boxes (which were not labeled "Do not touch") and I heard him mutter --
"God damn trash picker" -- Why did he stand there and say nothing while I
was "In flagrante Delicto" -- passive aggressive fellow.
9-17-01 A small, peculiar thing happened on Friday (9-14-01), which I
read meaning into. As I was walking up Connecticut Avenue, from the
library, I passed by a regular library patron, Jeremy Wittes. Subject is
unusually friendly with everyone and always calls out to me to say
hello. But on Friday he was looking down as he passed me and said
nothing. I assume someone has talked to subject about me.
9-19-01 All Quiet on the Western Front -- All I can say is -- At least
the sister made it farther than the good-looking white boy.
[Refers to CBS-TV series "Big Brother 2." Hardy Ames Hill was evicted before the African-American contestant, Monica Bailey.]
9-20-01 Last week someone left the attached book by Linda Miller in the
magazine exchange in the Cleveland Park Branch of the DC library system.
I had previously told my psychologist [Dr. Shaffer] that my high school
French teacher was named Linda Miller. I feel like I'm being
psychologically raped every day of the week!
The only way I have to work off the extreme tension is to whack off on
the floor next to the window -- I find that exhibitionism negates
intrusion (rape). HELP ME! HELP ME!
[Attached is cover of romance novel by Linda Lael Miller titled "Just
Kate," published by Silhouette Desire. My high school French teacher,
Linda Miller, was young and physically attractive. Fredric L. Cohen, MD,
was one of her students.]
9-21-01 People say: "What does he want?" "What will make him stop?" --
How about if I just get my job back -- is that a lot for a "perfect"
employee to ask? Maybe Judy [Glassie] could talk to WRIT's lawyers and
have them talk to Dennis Race. By the way -- I have a seven-digit number
in my head (The last two digits are "28") [Refers to Dennis Race's
office telephone number, 887-4028]. Here's what I'm thinking -- I could
find out what law firm represents Clark [Construction Company] and send
them a letter with some interesting documents attached. I tell them that
I was "raped" by friends of President Clinton -- Now that's an
attention grabber. Explain that I'm forced to whack off in public --
It's a consequence of my "rape" -- and ask for a written statement
directing me to cease the activity. (Akin Gump gave me the name -- hey
-- I'm just playin' the game!)
9-24-01 Strange coincidence on Friday at the library-- On Thursday
(9-20) I gave my psychologist [Dr. Shaffer] some written material about
novelist Michael Chabon, and I scrawled a notation on the material. In
the notation I referred to the psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut [now deceased].
On Friday, at the library, someone left the attached document in the
magazine exchange. -- The document is a press release from the Pew
Research Center -- and the director's name is Andrew KOHUT. The document
was folded exactly as you see it, to the right, drawing attention to
Kohut's name.
9-25-01 Assignment -- Look into Lewis Lipshutz. Subject was in my
graduating class (230) at Central High School (1971). Subject took piano
lessons with Elisabeth Griffith, my piano teacher. Subject performed at
piano recital given by Griffith in June 1968 at the Strawbridge &
Clothier Dept store in Jenkintown, PA. Subject (I believe) was in my 9th
grade algebra I class (first period '67-'68 -- Nicholas Grant,
teacher). In spring 1972 (first year college) I took a phys ed course --
bowling -- class was held at the Del Ennis Bowling Lanes in the
Northeast Sect of Phila -- used to see subject there.
[Lewis Lipshutz is now deceased.]
9-26-01 No assignment today -- You need to get on the assignment I gave
you yesterday. Just a word on what's been going on in the Big Brother
House -- [Attached is photo of President Bush captioned "The battle
ahead." Includes my own handwritten caption attributing the following
statement to President Bush:] You're fucking with the wrong bull, I'm
telling you. You're fucking with the wrong bull.
9-27-01 God Bless America. [Hand drawn picture of U.S. flag.] I told my
psychologist [Dr. Shaffer] yesterday about my war preparation plans. I
plan to seal my windows with duck tape -- this is a protective measure
against germ/chem warfare. Also, I want to get a gas mask. I already
have a 7-months food supply on hand, but I need a store of water. I
think David Castleberry needs to seal the whole building -- and think
about other civil defense issues. I think a revolving door at the front
entrance is advisable. Close the garage -- People will just have to park
somewhere else. -- Carlos, wherever you are, take care of yourself.
Good yontif, y'all. (Dave & Jesse).
[Refers to Jesse Raben and his brother, David Raben, MD, a radiologist
who practices in Montgomery, Alabama. The Rabens are from Greensboro,
North Carolina. The phrase "Good yontif" refers to the upcoming Jewish
High Holidays.]
9-28-01 I think Dennis Race should take a cue from President Ford. In
1974 Ford concluded that it was simply more practical to pardon
President Nixon, than to let things drag on indefinitely -- with
prosecutions and so forth. That's what DMR needs to be thinking -- Is it
better to have a loose cannon out there -- or bring him back (pardon
him, if you will) where we're in a position to control him. So, anyway
"Clark [Construction Company]" says to me -- "Where do you do it?" I
say: "On the floor." Clark says: "When?' I say: "7:00, 7:30. Mornings."
Clark says -- "Ever do it later in the day?" I say: "Fuck NO -- What do
you think I am? -- Some kind of PERVERT? In the middle of the day??"
[Refers to my masturbating in front of the construction workers employed
by Clark Construction Company. Note the association to "loose cannon," a
phallic projectile object; the phrase "loose" cannon suggests
"out-of-control" sexuality.]
10-01-01 I thought I'd start off October with a light assignment. Don't
put much time into it. Kramer or Cramer. (Don't recall the spelling). He
was a year ahead of me in high school, that is, 229th class -- 1970).
Outstanding pianist. Played the celesta part in the performance of
excerpts from Strauss' "Der Rosenkavalier" our high school orchestra did
in March 1968. -- He was a homosexual. Reason I mention him -- He was
the only homosexual I knew about in high school. I didn't know him. He
didn't know me. The Chanin brothers knew him (not in a biblical sense).
10-02-01 Assignment -- Look into Charles Leon Green ("Chas"). We worked
together as agency temps at Hogan & Hartson from Sept - Dec 1985,
for a client named AVCO (billing partner, William Bradford, Esq.).
Subject was born in about 1960; graduated Bethesda-Chevy Chase HS in
about 1978; bachelor's degree U. Maryland (about 1982); Emory Univ. Law
School (about 1985). Published paper in law school bankruptcy journal;
trained as a chef. Upper middle-class background. Girlfriend named Karla
Grasse (cohabited). Grandfather was law professor at Yale Law School.
Joined Army JAG Corps in 1986. Current whereabouts unknown. We spent
some time talking about renaissance men and the ever-popular pastime of
recreational whacking off. Knew Sandra Smalls (data-entry operator at
Hogan). Knew she was a scam artist. Once said to me: "Someday you're
going to screw around with the wrong person, and they're going to find
your body, face down, floating down the Potomac, with a knife in your
back." That day may be approaching.
10-3-01
Tomorrow is my big day with my psychiatrist -- she's scheduled to
prescribe antipsychotic meds for my delusional disorder -- delusional
disorder -- HA! That's a joke. Eventually, the truth is going to come
out, and there's going to be some high-profile criminal prosecutions.
You think I'm going to take it lying down that a psychiatrist at a
city-run clinic pumped me full of meds that might have irreversible side
effects? No! I'm going to see that Dr. Ruttenberg gets screwed. It's
like Ann Richards said about Ross Perot -- Her recommendation for
dealing with him: "Whatever you do, don't make him angry." TONY
[WILLIAMS:] -- Does multi-million dollar lawsuit mean anything to you.
Hint -- It doesn't go with a bow tie!
[cf.
Written statement addressed to DC branch librarian Brian Brown dated
April 16, 2004 -- "People will pay for my pain." "I'm no longer taking
the antipsychotic meds that were prescribed for me." "I'm in a dark
place." "Trouble for you, fun for me." I explained to Metro DC Police
Officer J.E. Williams (Badge 1226, Second District) on Wednesday April
21, 2004 that the message to Brian Brown (dated 4-16-04) concerned my
thoughts about the use of legal process, and not violence, to vindicate
my damages. The above entry (dated 10-3-01) supports the truth of my
statement to the Metro DC Police.]
10-04-01
We gotta do a quickie today, 'cause I got places to go, people to see,
things to do. My whole life doesn't revolve around you, guy. Here it
is-- The tenant in 226 -- Don't know her name. She looks like a female
phys. ed. teacher. Thing is-- She used to be very friendly with Beverly,
the former front desk person. They chatted fairly often. Assignment --
What does 226 know? By the way, Dave C. wasn't his chipper self this
morning. What's up with him. More tomorrow!
10-05-01
I start on my antipsychotic meds tonight. As for an end to these
letters, don't hold your breath. Now to your assignment: During the
entire period of my early tenure at Akin Gump (beginning March 1988)
there was a paralegal at the firm named Jeffrey Wertman -- a recent
college graduate who worked in the labor group on Eastern Airlines. The
same project I worked on. Subject left the firm in late summer 1988 to
attend American University Law School. He would have graduated in about
1991. I know that according to an entry in Martindale-Hubble (the
lawyer's directory) subject practiced in Miami, Florida. Subject won a
writing competition in law school. I believe Richard Wyatt, Esq., a
partner at Akin Gump, wrote a letter of recommendation for subject that
should be on file at AU. Subject resided at 3701 Connecticut
Avenue--next door.
[Included
is a magazine photo of President George W. Bush leading a cabinet
meeting. I've written as a caption "Inside the Diary Room: 'I've got
some surprises up my sleeve that will drop the country's jaw -- if I get
to play it my way.'"] [The note is a paraphrase of a statement made
during the summer of 2001 by Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV
reality series, "Big Brother."]
10-08-01
So far my jaw hasn't dropped. -- Just my pants! [Note appended to
magazine photo from "Vanity Fair" magazine, depicting a female model
touching the naked buttocks of a male model, whose pants have been
pulled down to expose his posterior.]
10-9-01
Please thank Mr. Castleberry for turning the heat on. It's delightful.
Now to serious business. My mother worked with a young man named Steven
("Steve") Miller in the mid 70s at The Franklin Institute in
Philadelphia. Miller graduated from Central High School in the early to
mid-sixties. He worked as an editor at the Institute. What's his story?
Miller later married a coworker named Joann Wagner (presumably, not the
same individual who works as an editor at "The Journal of the American
Psychiatric Association," published here in DC. (Her name is Joann
Wagner also).
10-9-01
[Time Magazine photo of President George W. Bush seated between
Secretary of State Colin Powell and Vice President Dick Cheney, with my
handwritten caption]: I don't want you to think I'm declaring war
against Islam, or anything like that, I'm not. It's not only who you
condemn -- who you declare a pariah state -- It's who you ally yourself
with. When somebody says they don't have a problem with how those
[m-f'ing] animals act, and say "Oh, they still haven't done anything to
me -- that's OK" -- then you're guilty by association in my book. [The
note is a paraphrase of a statement made during the summer of 2001 by
Hardy Ames Hill, a contestant on the CBS-TV reality series, "Big
Brother."]
10-10-01
Maybe a lawyer like Daniel Daniels is somebody I ought to work for --
Harvard grad (probably smarter than Chuck Reischel) -- and involved in
theater. But as Michael Madigan says -- Law is theater (right, and in
Akin Gump's case it's farce). [Note appended to cutout portion of
ALI-ABA Professional Skills Program -- "Public Speaking for Lawyers,"
scheduled for Friday November 30, 2001 at the Renaissance Hotel in
Washington, DC. Program is to feature Daniel L. Daniels, who, the
program states, recently appeared as Nicely Johnson in an off-Broadway
(Darien, Connecticut) production of "Guys and Dolls." A graduate of
Dartmouth College and Harvard Law School, Mr. Daniels also is a member
of the Stamford, Connecticut law firm, Cummings & Lockwood.]
10-11-01
Assignment for today: Check into Phillip Feigen. Subject was a legal
assistant at Akin Gump from midyear 1988 to 1990. Worked in the labor
practice group on Eastern Airlines. Worked a lot of overtime. Assigned
to office on second floor, which he shared with another legal assistant,
Jesse Raben. Left firm to attend law school (Catholic University) --
would have graduated in about 1993. Took a trip to Spain. Subject &
Raben were sent to National Airport in 1989 to videotape striking
Eastern pilots. Telephone directory lists a "Phillip G. Feigen" at 2550 M
Street (office -- no. 457-6000). (I started my antipsychotic meds last
night).
10-12-01
Who's the common traveler on this floor? [note appended to first page
of the October 12, 2001 issue of the gay newspaper, "The Washington
Blade"]
[appended
to 10-12-01 is handwritten note written on Smithsonian Institution
promotional material:] Do you think Mary Blum left this for me
intentionally in the lobby? -- Antipsychotic meds, what's up with them?
[Mary Agnes Blum is an elderly tenant who resides in apartment 334].
10-12-01
Assignment. Check into Robert M. Landau, Esq. Subject used to be an
associate at Akin Gump -- while I worked there. He's now at another firm
located at 1350 Connecticut Ave., NW (955-8305). He specializes in
ERISA (The Employee Retirement Income Security Act). When I first
started working at the firm I submitted a written reference to the legal
assistant administrator (Margarita Babb) that was written by a lawyer
for whom I clerked while I attended law school (Thomas Jennings, Esq.).
(Philadelphia). Jennings specialized in ERISA law and his letter refers
to that fact. Landau and I had no verbal contact, but I had formed the
impression he knew who I was. One of subject's current colleagues speaks
fluent German.
10-15-01
A paranoia update. Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 5
mg. -- considered the starting dose by the manufacturer (Lilly). "Ideas
of reference" Saturday (10-13-01) at the library-- 1) Two xeroxed
notices were posted at the circulation desk. These were for upcoming
movies they were planning to show at the library auditorium. (The
library shows old movies on a regular basis free). One notice was for
"Sunset Boulevard" -- which was xeroxed at the enlargement scale that
they usually post such notices. Then, very noticeably, a second notice
for another movie was posted nearby in considerABLY LARGER TYPE -- A
NOTICE FOR "STALAG 17" STARRING ROBERT STRAUSS (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH
ROBERT STRAUSS THE ACTOR). 2) In the magazine exchange box there was the
following "AAA WORLD" [magazine] featuring a photo of Benjamin
Franklin's statue at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Last week I
wrote to you about Steve Miller, who worked at the Franklin Institute
(I see a connection). (Antipsychotic meds -- what's up with them?) This
mag was on top of a pile. [Appended is cover of "AAA WORLD"]
10-16-01
Meds update. I took 5 mg of antipsychotic meds last night. No change so
far in my cognitive functioning. Give you an example of how I still
misinterpret facts and arrive at faulty conclusions: Recently I was
looking through my high school yearbook and I came across the entry for a
student who was in two of my classes in the 11th grade. Perry
Rubenstein (a slimy heterosexual). I happened to notice, at the top of
the column, an entry for "Howard Rothman" (I have no idea who he is). I
noticed that they lived a few blocks from each other. Both also gave a
smart-ass response to "Career Choice" (Kenyan gov't official). Both look
like dickheads. Paranoid conclusion: They were friends, possibly close
friends.
10-16-01 For the chapter: "Not Ant Tracks, You Moron"
MALCOLM LASSMAN: Looks like we got a real anthrax problem here. What do you suggest we do?
DENNIS
RACE: I don't know. My advice, we call an exterminator. I'm thinking,
-- You get rid of the ants, you'll get rid of their tracks. But that's
just a guess. Let's call the experts and get their opinion.
10-17-01
Last night I increased my antipsychotic med dose to 7.5 mg. As of now
-- no harm/no foul -- so to speak. Ideas of Reference (The illness that
got me fired from my job -- apparently -- they have not changed).
Yesterday (10-16-01) I chatted briefly with Barbara -- the librarian. I
asked her if anyone had commented negatively on the new computer desks
-- they are somewhat uncomfortable. She said "no" -- but that she
personally finds that she has to strain her neck to use the computer.
She then asked my permission to conduct a very brief experiment before I
got on the computer. She wanted to see if a wheelchair bound person
would have a problem. -- She had a wheelchair bound patron roll over to a
computer to see if it was feasible and tolerable. The wheelchair bound
patron said (I believe -- she was smiling) that everything was fine.
During my chat with the librarian (Barbara) -- she use the phrase
"guinea-pig" -- which I interpreted to refer to persons of Italian
heritage (Dr. Palombo? Mario Cuomo? Mayor Giuliani? --Who knows.) Also
she talked about having to go through "contortions" to use the new
computer desk. I thought that referenced to "Houdini" and that that
reference concerned a statement I made on the computer in which I
compared myself to Houdini (no one -- objectively -- would have access
to my computer files -- but I believe -- in paranoid fashion -- that
they do).
[The
actions of William Dacosta in calling the police on April 21, 2004
confirmed that, in fact, the librarians can access a public computer's
files. I could not and did not know that fact as of October 17, 2001.]
Also--
On Monday I added material to my autobiography -- a quotation from a
magazine article by Adam Gopnik about the New York Twin Tower Bombing
(Cuomo, Giuliani, and Dr. Palombo are all native New Yorkers, by the
way). The article was titled "The City and the Pillars." Yesterday,
someone left the following magazine on top of other magazines in the
magazine trunk in the library. Note the pillars. (Antipsychotic meds --
what's up with them?) [The referenced magazine is "Washington
Entertaining's 2001-2002 Events Yearbook & Calendar: 1000 Activities
-- Event & Site Services Guide." The cover features a photo of the
huge interior pillars of the National Building Museum lobby, here in
Washington.]
10-18-01
Took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night for my ideas of reference and
my bizarre behavior. These are two of the main reasons Dennis Race said
I was not suitable for employment as of October 1991 -- ten years ago.
This morning I had a really good masturbation session. A good time was
had by all -- if you know what I mean. An older guy, late fifties,
maybe, smiled when he saw me occupied with my life's work.
[In
the fall of 2001 I used to masturbate in front of my apartment window
in front of the construction workers who were erecting an apartment
building (3883 Connecticut Avenue) adjacent to my building. I told my
then treating psychologist, Nancy Shaffer, Ph.D., about my activity.]
I
thought, "You know, maybe Bobby [i.e., Robert Strauss] would enjoy
this. Maybe I should make a video and send it to him." Speaking of Bobby
-- we could have been so happy together. But George [i.e., President
George H.W. Bush] ruined it for me! George!! He sends Bobby off to
Russia, and I'm left here-- Speaking of Bobby, I had an idea of
reference this very morning as I stepped outside my door. Somebody
dropped (or placed) three pennies outside my door -- I spotted them on
the floor, arranged in a row like this -- only further apart. [three
pennies are scotch-taped to paper] Today -- (10/18) happens to be
Bobby's birthday, and I thought -- well, let's say I assigned the
following meaning to the pennies -- the following thoughts or
associations flashed in my mind. --Bobby's 83'rd birthday; --coins --
autobiography -- inheritance; death; presidents (here, President
Lincoln); Walt Whitman ("When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed");
Robert Rubin (Secretary of the Treasury); Theme of the Three Caskets
(lead, Silver, Gold) [a reference to "The Merchant of Venice"].
10-19-01
I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. -- See the change? I had a
good masturbation session this morning. -- The train never pulled into
the station, so to speak -- if you know what I mean. With all these meds
I'm taking, I ain't gettin' nothin' -- except a little juice at the
bottom of the tube. Here's the thing -- even if the meds were to cure
me, well-- Let's say, if I had a partner (man, woman, or sheep) -- I
wouldn't be able to do anything in a genital sense with these meds, it's
like I'm all dressed up with no place to go -- (or come).
10-22-01
Assignment for today: Check into an individual named Howell ("Howie")
Brister. Subject was born in about 1947 (son of Melvin & Claire
Brister, who, until 1978, resided at 1613 Barringer Street in
Philadelphia). Subject was in my brother-in-law's graduating class in
college. (B.S., 1969 -- Philadelphia College of Textiles & Science).
Subject used to drive a yellow Camaro, subject married in his faith.
10-23-01
I took 7.5 mg antipsychotic meds last night. Does Dr. Ruttenberg know
what trouble she could be getting herself into ? ? ?
10-23-01
Assignment for today: Look into a person named-- John Hillerman. I
worked with subject during the summers of 1970 and 1971 at The Franklin
Institute in Philadelphia. It was a summer job for both of us. Subject
was about 3 years older than me, and graduated college in spring 1972.
What makes subject significant is who he was related to. Subject's
cousin was another Franklin Institute employee named "Pat" (Patricia)
Devlin. (Born about 1942). Devlin was romantically involved with, and
later married, an individual named Alec Peters (born about 1912). The
pair were married in about late 1970 or early 1971. The couple
subsequently had several children. Alec Peters founded the department
"Science Information Services" at The Franklin Institute, a unit that
was a major profit center for the Institute. The unit (SIS) grew to
include offices in Tokyo (Japan), Munich (Germany), and Rockville, MD.
Peters was an immigrant from Bucharest, Rumania, and had served 10 years
in a Soviet Prison (Lubyanka -- headquarters of the former KGB, in
central Moscow, USSR). His biography reads like a Victor Hugo novel, I
do not know why the Soviets imprisoned him. CIA or FBI may have
information on him. Peters was imprisoned, I believe, after WWII (from
about 1945 - 1955). Peters was married to his first wife, before WWII.
Couple had a son. Peters rejoined wife after release from Soviet prison.
Peters was fluent in Russian and German, in addition to, of course,
Rumanian & English. First wife was Jewish, and died in about 1969 or
1970. Peters was reportedly Jewish but concealed his origins. (Peters
apparently was not his birth name). Peters did not wear yarmulke at his
wife's funeral. Peters was named vice-president of the Franklin
Institute in the early 1970s. Peters was terminated by the Franklin
Institute in about 1982 because of a conflict of interest -- His wife,
Devlin, had started her own company that bid on the same contracts as
The Franklin Institute -- The SIS Department's income was based largely
on U.S. government contracts.
THIS HAS INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!
P.S.
The Franklin Institute Research Laboratories was designed by Robert
Venturi. I, personally, gravitate to the work of renowned postmodern
architects and theorists Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown, because
it looks so smart and so subtle. As to furniture, I'm not a great fan of
George Nakashima, like Bernie and Aida Epstein.
You
remember last week, I told you I had paranoid ideas about three pennies
someone had left outside my door? Well this morning (10/23), I just
read in my high school handbook that my high school French teacher Linda
Schubert Miller, who I wrote about to you in the past -- was the
sponsor of my high school Stamp and Coin Club. Amazing, huh?
10-24-01
Still taking my anti-psychotic meds. Notice any changes in me? I'm
still exhausted from all the writing I did yesterday. I guess you're
pooped-out from the breadth and scope of your last assignment. -- By the
way, how are you doing with that? Have you contacted the Bureau or the
Agency about Alec Peters? I felt a lot of ideas of reference in the
library yesterday. --Barbara, in talking to a patron on the telephone,
used the phrase "A stranger on the train" -- which I saw as a reference
to my dream "Those Who Love Me Can Take The Train." She kept using the
words "weird" and "strange" -- I felt that referred to me, but not
necessarily in a bad way. Then she took on this strange kind of what I
can only describe as a "laughing" tone as she spoke -- it had a
regressed, histrionic, or "as-if" quality. --Then Charles Davis used the
phrase "50,000 watt amplification system" -- or some such phrase. I
thought that referred to my listening to classical music when I was
growing up on Barringer Street -- and our neighbors -- the Bristers.
Funny (odd, or bizarre) -- after all these years I can still remember
issues relating to classical music and the Bristers. --One evening,
coming home from work, Mel Brister told me that he & Claire were
going to see Bizet's opera Carmen at the Robin Hood Dell. --Claire
Brister said she studied classical piano when she was growing up (her
father was a pharmacist). --Claire once asked me if I knew anything
about the Saint-Saens piano concertos (Who?? What??) --One afternoon I
heard Claire playing (repeatedly -- the 3rd movement of the Brahms 2nd
piano concerto. --I heard Claire playing the first movement of the
Mahler 10th symphony. -- In the mid-seventies, classical radio station
WFLN broadcast, on successive weekends, the Furtwaengler performances of
Wagner's Ring operas. -- Claire said she was listening to that. --In
about 1977 or 1978 -- Claire took my mother to the Robin Hood Dell to
hear the Philadelphia Orchestra perform "The Rite of Spring" by
Stravinsky. My mother
This
is Barringer Street in Philadelphia where my family resided from April
1966 to 1980. Nice, huh? (It looks like the London suburbs, Mrs. Joyce
would say). [Note refers to attached photograph].
10-25-01
Variety is the spice of life, so they say, so-- I figured I'd try some
yellow paper for a change. You've been (you and your handlers) have been
working very hard lately, so here's a break. --Just some fundamentally
useless information that simply gives me a chance to show off my memory.
A couple of days ago I mentioned Bernie Epstein. Following is a list of
what I recall about Mr. Epstein's musical tastes. --Predilection for
the work of J.S. Bach --Adolescent taste for Wagner -- Then moved on to
Mahler & Bruckner. Then "outgrew" Wagner (Mahler & Bruckner)
--First opera he ever saw was Strauss's "Salome" --when he was in his
early teens. -- Music Education major at Temple University.-- Liked the
symphonies of Robert Schumann. -- Wife was classically-trained pianist.
-- At party Epsteins gave at their cork-lined home (like Proust in his
cord-lined room) (actually, only the music room was cork-lined) in April
1970 (during Pesach "Sorry, we're not serving any bread products --
because of Passover") -- wife Aida entertained the guests with
Schumann's Trauemerei, among other works (I think she said she was not
fond of Chopin -- HA! -- Wagner loved Chopin, and used to ask his
father-in-law to play Chopin for him). --Said he still found Mahler's
Kindertotenlieder of interest (A psychoanalyst would link up the
Trauemerei (from Kinderscenen) with Kindertotenlieder. By the way, Mr.
Smarty-pants-- did you know that Mahler quotes the Trauemerei melody in
several of his symphonies -- It's one of the main themes in the first
movement of Mahler's number 9 (nine) -- in a grotesquely-varied form.
The theme also appears in movement 1 of Mahler's Seventh. --Had a taste
for the Bartok opera "Bluebeard's Castle." By the way -- I saw Dave
Castleberry yesterday in his convertible -- How is it that such a
geeky-looking guy drives such a cool car -- (Don't tell him I said that !
! ! )
10-26-01
I took 7.5 mg anti-psychotic meds last night (Zyprexa). Do you notice
any change -- Talk to Dr. Sack about this -- Maybe he would have some
ideas. I was feeling a lot of self-referential thinking in the library
yesterday (10/25). Barbara or Hillary were using the word "trap" -- as
in "It's a trap" or "entrapment." Peter & the head librarian were
talking -- I thought that referred to me -- not so much the context of
what they were saying -- but the idea of, possibly, male friendship or
mentoring. I felt they got some news that I was a very intelligent
fellow. This crap -- this acting-out in the library just doesn't stop.
-- 10 YEARS of this fucking crap. (But I love it!)
10-29-01
Only 20 something days till turkey day. Today, Monday, like most
Mondays, is a slow news day. Nothing happens on Sunday. I've forgotten
what happened on Saturday-- No fear, I still have something to write.
This is some additional information about two other Rumanians who worked
at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. FELICIA ROGERS: Born about
1920; from Bucharest, Rumania; fled Nazis; grandfather gunned down by
Nazis on street in Bucharest for target practice; husband (Claude
Rogers) was a medical doctor; staunch supporter of Richard Nixon -- saw
him as person who stood up to the communists; she was a Wagner opera
fan; spoke fluent French, German, Rumanian, -- and, of course, the
Queen's English; attended my mother's funeral in 1980. LYDIA ERDELYI:
Born in German-speaking sector of Rumania; spoke fluent Russian, German;
husband was mathematics professor at Temple University; on one
occasion, asked Hilliard Cohen [Central High School, 224th class, 1965]
to purchase for her a Russian-language edition of, I think it was,
Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago"; husband was from Hungarian-speaking
sector of Rumania. If you don't know -- Rumania is linguistically
diverse -- with some parts made up of German speakers, Hungarians, and,
of course, Rumanians.
[Notes
appended to photograph from magazine:] Lockhart, Texas, ca. 1918.
Picture of Charles Strauss's dry-goods store. It's where Bob Strauss's
father made his first million.
I whacked off here on this table this morning. I'm LOVING my anti-psychotic meds!
10-30-01
Just some odds & ends today. LYDIA ERDELYI -- It was Lydia Erdelyi
who translated my letter from Gertrud Strobel, dated May 1972, in
response to my inquiry to the Wagner Archives in Bayreuth, Germany,
about the foundation stone of the Wagner festival theater. -- Judge
Joyce Hens Green (Judge on U.S. District Court, DC, who decided McNeil
v. Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld): her father was a
psychiatrist. --My ideas of reference have not diminished. Yesterday
Hillary Fennel at the Cleveland Park Library used the term "boot" of
"reboot" the computer. I interpreted "boot" as relating to me. And the
content referred to someone of Italian heritage (who said something very
complimentary about me). -- "Gee, I wonder what happened in that
laboratory?" Italy is shaped like a boot. --Incidentally, Hilliard Cohen
went to elementary school with my sister -- they were in the same class
in 6th grade -- Olga Kaempfer's 6th grade class.
10-31-01
Did you ever hear the one about the traveling salesman? By the way --
Tonight's party -- will it be wet or dry -- If there's alcohol, I'll be
there! Check one: WET / / DRY / /
11-01-01
Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. Here's an interesting thing I
recall from high school. But first, what it was that brought this memory
back to me. It's a sentence from the final portions of my
autobiography: "It was natural that a youth of exceptionally active mind
should raise some questions about the doctrines transmitted in the
synagogue school." I can remember being on the "L" bus going home from
school and Fred Cohen (229) was talking to a friend. I was eavesdropping
-- as Chuck [Reischel] would say. Subject was saying that he thought it
was questionable that a rabbi should be paid for his work on the
Sabbath. He saw an inherent conflict between a rabbi accepting money
from his congregation (as consideration for his services)-- and at the
same time keeping the Sabbath. Eric-- Fred is now an OB-GYN. [Even as a
teenager I was interested in the moral qualities of my peers; here, I
was intrigued by a fellow student's (Fred Cohen's) concerns about an
issue of rabbinical ethics. As an adult I seemed sensitive to the moral
qualities in the law clerk Glenn Fine at the law firm of Hogan &
Hartson. Do you see why the Pope would be interested in me?]
11-02-01
Missed you at the 3801 party Wednesday night -- By the way, what do you
look like? Assignment: You may want to look into a person named Arthur
Koren (Central High School, 231st class, 1972). Koren lived in my
neighborhood when I was growing up; was 1 year younger than me; was
friendly with Mark Needleman, (Central, 229). Koren's sister was a
beauty contest winner (Bonnie Koren). She attended my sister's high
school. I think she was my sister's age. Coincidentally, Koren was in
the same graduating class as Emanuel Garcia, M.D. (Dr. Eissler's
literary executor) and Murray Cohen (Fred Cohen's younger brother).
--Get on it ! ! !
11-5-01
Did you telephone Elizabeth Joyce to wish her a happy Guy Fawlkes Day?
It's a slow Monday -- as usual. Brief assignment-- In high school-- my
sophomore and junior years: There were two students in French class
whose respective names I recall. I can recall their two names-- One was
Fred Cohen (229) and the other was David Seltzer. I have no idea why I
remember Seltzer. Maybe because it's the number one beverage in America
today -- "Pardon me, may I have a seltzuh?" -- Not salsa, seltzuh.
11-6-01
Here's someone else to look into: Audrey Britt-- Subject was an
African-American female who worked in the Computer Applications
Department at the law firm of Hogan & Hartson -- From 1986 - 1987.
She had a law degree and did some legal representation on her own (i.e.,
not in connection with Hogan). She shared an office with Crag W. Dye
(when he was still young and good-looking). She would have known about
Daniel Cutler distributing marijuana to fellow employees in about March
1987.
11-6-01 These were gifts to me from Felicia Rogers (book & postcards).
11-06-07
More on Audrey Britt. -- John Douglas, eat your heart out! If you were
to ask Audrey Britt her impression of me, she would emphasize my
shyness. How do I know that? Because I can recall two specific instances
that related to money & wealth, which Audrey talked about (i.e.,
something desirable, or something envied or coveted.) -- And in my
working out of the problem unconscious envy is negated by conscious
attributions of shyness. --In about early January 1987, Audrey said to
me, "Could you lend me some money, a thousand dollars, maybe?" (She was
joking--it was a reference to the fact that Christmas week [1986] I had
worked about 83 hours and had earned about $1,000. --In summer 1987, as
we walked out of Hogan's office at 555 Thirteenth St., she pointed to a
Marriott Hotel across the street and said: "That Marriott is owned by a
very wealthy family, yes, a very wealthy family owns that Marriott
Company." Coincidentally, in fall 1986, Daniel Cutler -- in a joking
reference -- asked me if I had picked up my rent checks from all my
rental properties. Yes, I'll be blunt -- I think Audrey Britt and Daniel
Cutler were both envious anti-Semites. Have you noticed? My apartment
is taking on that "fag" decorator look?
11-07-01
Two weeks until T-Day. I'm thinking of inviting Carlos, Jorge &
Umberto. I have the feeling things are happening with the investigation.
The library personnel seem to be powerfully overstimulated, and are
discharging the overstimulation by emphasizing situation-appropriate
words & phrase and behaviors. Here are some words and phrases--
"Don't be shy" -- Free (=Louis Freeh?) -- Tuna (=like a dolphin caught
in a tuna net) -- Mark (Mark Needleman -- yesterday "Mark" a friend of
Velvel came to visit) -- [Hillary said to a student patron:] "Are you a
junior high student? -- You want information on floods? That's too broad
-- Floods can be caused by any number of things -- a dam breaking, for
example. You need to narrow that down. Now, if the subject were
hurricanes, that would be a specific thing."
11-8-01
In late July 1998, I started to see a psychologist named Lisa Osborn. I
think my first session with her was Friday July 31, 1998. Be that as it
may. The day before I had my first consult with Lisa Osborn, somebody
had left the attached magazine on a table in the laundry room, here, at
3801. It was uncanny when I met Lisa Osborn because she resembles Helen
Hunt. I told Dr. Osborn about this. [Appended is cover of February 1998
issue of "Biography" Magazine featuring a photo of the actress Helen
Hunt.]
10-9-01
Brief Assignment-- My English teacher in the tenth grade (10th grade:
1968-1969 school year) was an individual named Thomas Horan. Subject was
working on his Ph.D. thesis on none other than James Joyce --
Specifically, "Ulysses." Find out more!
11-12-01
This will show how I will pick up some trivial detail from my
environment concerning someone I don't even know -- and retain that
detail in my mind, indefinitely. This concerns David Rosenbaum (229th
class, Central High School, 1970). Subject was in the first violin
section of the orchestra. I once eavesdropped on a conversation he was
having with another student (he played the clarinet -- and was blind in
one eye). Subject sounded like he was in some adolescent funk, and was
saying -- "I wish I could do something creative." [David Rosenbaum,
Ph.D., is now a professor of psychology at The Pennsylvania State
University at College Park, my alma mater.]
11-13-01
Here's another assignment. Jack Byk and his wife: Subject was employed
as a computer specialist at the Franklin Institute while I worked there.
Subject & wife were both from Vienna (Austria not Virginia); they
were Jews who emigrated (the polite way to put it) -- the Anschluss and
all that. Subject & wife were at the company dinner at Franklin Hall
in December 1977. I was drunk as a skunk at the dinner & Mrs. Byk
talked me down -- figuratively and literally (I had tried to climb atop
the statue of Benjamin Franklin. On one occasion, Jack Byk said to me --
Do you have any friends? I lied & said "Yes." He said: "I'm
surprised to hear that." I said: "Why's that?" He said: "Your interests.
I have a son your age, and you are totally different from him -- He has
no interest in classical music -- I don't see you having anything in
common with young people your age." When I left the company he gave me a
piece of advice: "Stay away from alcohol." Sharon Miriam White Glick
[now married to Kenneth Glick, Esq.] had a nonsexual crush on Jack Byk.
If you talk to Jack Byk, tell him I didn't take his advice -- exactly. I
haven't stayed away from liquor-- I just steer clear of statues of
Benjamin Franklin. Works like a charm.
11-14-01
Nunc Pro Tunc. (I still have to make up one day -- I know that.) Here's
an assignment: Richard Krangel. Subject lived on same street as Perry
Rubenstein (slimy heterosexual). Krangel was in my graduating class in
high school (230, 1971). Subject and I attended the same elementary
school (Rowan Elementary). I believe we weren't in any classes together
in high school -- as far as I recall. We had no contact whatsoever in
high school. I think in 3rd grade (Mrs. Myers) subject was in the
advanced reading group that read from the "advanced" book, "Fun and
Frolic." Krangel resided at 127 W. Walnut Drive. Perry Rubenstein (a
slimy heterosexual) resided at 114 W. Walnut Drive. Krangel appears to
have been a nonjoiner -- He doesn't list any extra-curricular
activities.
11-15-01 Nothing to report today. See ya! Have to go take my antipsychotic meds--
11-16-01
Back on schedule. Here's info on two other Central High School alums.
Murray Marion (230, 1971). We were in same graduating class. I had no
contact at all with Marion. The only reason I mention him, the only
significance he has, is that we had the same private piano teacher,
Elisabeth Griffith. I happened to see him perform at my piano teacher's
recital. He was an advanced student -- a very fine pianist. Toby Apel
(229, 1970). Apel was a year ahead of me. He played the viola in the
school orchestra (same instrument as Sidney Rothstein, the conductor).
Apel was an outstanding musician -- I believe he was a professional
musician. We were in the same French class in school year 1967-1968
(Miss Proctor). I remember schmoozing with Apel.
11-19-01
Still loving my anti-psychotic meds. They are costing the District
about $100.00/month. But, hey, it's just money. When I was growing up on
17th Street in Philadelphia, there were neighbors who resided down the
street, a family named Hershberg (spelling?). There was an older brother
Bruce (my sister's age) and a younger brother, Robert Hershberg, who
was my age. I believe Akin Gump contacted these people in 1991.
Anti-psychotic meds have not changed my opinion. The Hershberg family
moved from our neighborhood to Vineland, New Jersey, in about 1962 or
1963.
11-19-01
Just in case you're wondering why they fired me. -- I ask you: Was this
so wrong? [Appended is a photograph from a magazine that depicts a
young man sitting on top of a xerox machine in an office setting, with
his naked posterior being copied by the xerox copier.]
11-20-01
Here's somebody to look into-- This person has a story to tell, I'm
sure. Nancy Shaffer (not my psychologist). Subject was the litigation
support administrator at Akin Gump until about June 1988, when she was
suddenly terminated (I heard it was because of insubordination). Subject
preceded Christine ("Chris") Robertson as litigation support
administrator. I worked for subject on one occasion in early May 1988 --
on a task for client "NFL" -- subject would remember me as the guy with
the one-word vocabulary, to wit -- "OK." What's Shaffer's story?
11-21-01
Friend,-- I don't mind you coming in here and looking around. Just
don't have sex on the rug. Here's some information on three former Akin
Gump attorneys -- each with a story to tell. Mark Schwartz -- Subject
was a recent law school graduate in 1988, when I first started at Akin
Gump. He had degrees from Harvard and Penn. He was assigned to Eastern
Airlines labor litigation. Subject was somewhat immature -- used to hang
out with the legal assistants. Made "funny faces" behind David Callet
at Lilliam Machado's going-away party in summer 1988. Lilliam Machado --
Legal assistant assigned to Eastern Airlines. At one time shared an
office with J.D. Neary, before I started at firm. Subject was my
supervisor when I started at firm in 1988. Subject headed Eastern
Airlines litigation support. Subject left in summer 1988 to attend law
school. Extremely intelligent. Subject was hired as an associate in
1991, upon graduating from law school. Clerked at firm in summer 1990,
when I was seeing Dr. Palombo. Apparently left firm -- I see a listing
for subject in telephone directory at 625-4349 (1101 30th Street).
Stephen Schwartz -- subject was a young associate at firm in 1988,
assigned to Eastern Airlines litigation. I vaguely recall that subject
left firm in late 1988 or early 1989 to write a novel. What I recall is
that he had a contract with a publisher for novel. What dirt did you dig
up on Nancy Shaffer? You know, I still remember the tiny bust of
Napoleon in her office.
11-22-01
and 11-23-01 (Double Issue) Here's someone to look into: Gary I. Rubin
(Ph.D., J.D.). Rubin was an associate at Akin Gump. He had been an
English professor at, I believe, Hofstra University. He had a doctorate
(I assume, in English). So, law was a mid-life career change for him. He
held a "writing seminar" for paralegals in February 1989, which I
attended. Apparently subject left Akin Gump. There's a telephone
directory listing for him at 898 5800 (1359 I Street). His son should be
having his bar mitzvah around now -- or early 2002.
11-26-01
Here's another person with a story -- Steven Wrappe: Subject was a
young associate at Akin Gump. He was a tax attorney. His office adjoined
David Hardee's. Subject and Hardee shared a secretary, Lisa Hassel.
Hassel's own husband, Christopher Hassel, was an attorney (but not at
Akin Gump). In 1993 I happened to see Wrappe at the concourse outside
the Giant Supermarket up the street. We chatted. It was Wrappe who told
me that Akin Gump's securities practice was shot to hell (i.e., as of
1993).
11-27-01
Here's a name from the past -- Amy Smith. Subject was a paralegal at
Akin Gump. She started her employment at the time I started my temporary
assignment -- early March 1988; Why I recall her is that the Monday
after Thanksgiving (1988) she asked me, on an elevator, how my
Thanksgiving was, and I said, "Good. Surprisingly good." I was picking
up baseball double-entendres at the library yesterday (11/26). Head
librarian said to someone: "You're up next." Also the intonation on the
name "Rohit" (RoHIT) -- I read this as relating to Dennis Race's
disbarment.
11-28-01
I'm still loving my anti-psychotic meds. I had ideas of reference in
the library yesterday. -- In the magazine exchange there was a magazine
with a dinosaur on the cover. Then, the branch librarian was talking
about "thesauri" -- I saw this as a reference to the record on appeal in
my case -- Huge & Ancient. Also, note the fact that the word
"thesauri" is a play on words -- Thesauri = The Sore Eye (What you get
from reading the record on appeal).
11-29-01
Here's a person with a significant story to tell: Robert ("Bob")
Dillon. Subject was a paralegal at Akin Gump who worked on toxic tort
litigation and had contact with David Callet, Esq. During the period
April 1991 to about July 1991 subject worked in a cubicle that adjoined
my cubicle in the terrace level office that housed the litigation
support group. It was in this environment that, reportedly, employees
told management that they were afraid of me -- that they were afraid to
work near me. Well, subject worked right next to me. Was he afraid?
[Dillon was originally from Philadelphia, where he attended Catholic
schools, and as of 1991 was an evening law student at Catholic
University.]
11-30-01
A quiet day. By the way, the black ball to the right is either part of
the plumbing or it's one of Vernon Jordan's testicles -- I can't tell
which. What happened to Julie Herr? Doesn't she practice law anymore?
[Julie Kitzes Herr, Esq. was an attorney at Akin Gump during my tenure.]
11-20-01
FYI. Adine Kernberg -- is a lawyer (born 1969) who practices in Boston,
Massachusetts. She has degrees from Stanford & Columbia. Her father
is Otto F. Kernberg, MD, president of the Int'l Psychoanalytic Assn.,
and an internationally prominent psychiatrist. Adine's mother is Paulina
Kernberg, who, incidentally, was chosen by the Justice Department as
the government's psychiatric consultant in the Elian Gonzalez case.
[Adine Kernberg coauthored a book with Jane Ginsburg, a law professor at
Columbia Law School, and the daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.]
12-03-01
Here's another person to look into: Robert Berger. Subject was a
paralegal at Akin Gump. Subject's interactions with me were uniformly
normal. I didn't feel that I scarred him -- I had the feeling that I
scarred the s--- out of the other paralegals. After I was fired -- it
was in about late fall 1991 -- I was walking down Connecticut Avenue and
Berger, who was with a group of friends, called out to me -- "Hey,
Gar!" I was impressed by his behavior.
12-04-01
Slow news day. I thought Barbara (the librarian) was abreacting some
overstimulation in the library, yesterday (12-3). She kept talking about
some Russian-language publication. --I think she's too vulnerable to
handle confidential information. They're closing in on Bobby!
12-5-01
I cut you some slack yesterday. But it's back to work today. Here's
somebody to look into: Martin ("Marty") Isenberg: We were in the same
graduating class in high school (230, 1971). We sat next to each other
in ninth grade algebra class (Mr. Grant, teacher). I used to steal his
homework, until he put his foot down. --I started early in my career of
plagiarism. -- The high school yearbook lists "social worker" as his
career goal. -- ANABRU -- If you don't get it, you don't get it.
12-6-01
Here's something to look into: Charles Davis. Subject is the supervisor
of the OPS Division at the Cleveland Park Library. He was "absent
without leave" (AWOL) last week and is in deep trouble. The head
librarian (name?) personally traveled down to the home office to submit
the necessary paperwork on subject. Subject knows everything about me.
He used to work at Howard University.
[Note
that in the above instance the Branch Librarian, Brian Brown, showed no
concern whatsoever for the reasonable expectation of privacy of his
employee, Charles Davis. A library patron, such as myself, should not
know about the personal employment difficulties of a library employee.
Yet, I do know. Why? Because the Branch Librarian couldn't keep his
mouth shut in a public space. That's something else Brian and I have in
common -- no respect for the legitimate privacy interests of other
people.]
12-7-01
Check out my "new" floor lamp. I got it from the trash closet. All it
needs is a new shade.-- I could start my own secondhand shop from the
stuff people throw away here. See ya Monday. P.S. Still loving my
anti-psychotic meds. I forgot to mention.-- I was watching a video of
Puccini's opera "Tosca," conducted by Daniel Oren. So the conductor is
up there on the podium, with his yarmulke on his head, and I'm thinking
-- "How is it he's able to get all those goyim to sing in tune, but
Malcolm and Earl couldn't." (By the way President Mitterand of France
was in the audience).
12-10-01
I hit the jackpot this weekend. -- A whole computer. --That somebody
threw out. I wonder if it works or if it can be repaired at a reasonable
cost? I'm still waiting for somebody to throw away a wining Maryland
lottery ticket. When that happens (and it will!) I'll be outta here--
See ya.
12-11-01
This is really a message for Jerry Seinfeld. I caught you on the "Today
Show" (without the puffy short). You conducted yourself like a good
Jewish boy. I was proud (or at least half of me) was proud of you. How's
Malcolm?
12-12-01
Nothing to report. I still believe I'm under surveillance. (God bless
those anti-psychotic meds). They (The Powers That Be) seem to have
advised the spies in my environs to be more subtle and circumspect. You
already have the names of everyone I've ever known. It's a small list. I
miss Carlos and Hector. I think of them all the time ! ! !
12-13-01
Again, nothing to report. Except to note that things have been quiet in
the library. Charles Davis is back. I think my psychologist has pretty
much given up on me. It's a chore seeing her. I miss Hector.
12-14-01 I am missing you badly, Hector
12-17-01
Saturday (12/15), in the library, Velvel was talking on the phone,
spelling a name to a caller, and said: "'K' as in 'Kissinger'" -- What
meaning do you read into that? -- Just six more shopping days till
Mathilde Wesendonk's birthday -- shop early. (Loving my anti-psychotic
meds!!)
12-18-01
Yesterday (12/17) I had an idea of reference in the library -- (big
surprise). Velvel was talking to a patron about a book called "The
Secret Life of Plants" --We know what that means, don't we?
12-19-01
Here's an assignment: When I worked at the Franklin Institute in
Philadelphia I worked with a woman named Marianne Scott Das. She was
multi-lingual and was able to read about nine different languages. She
had a son named Milan Das who attended my high school (Central High
School) several years after I graduated. He would have graduated in June
1977 (236th class). Milan Das was a contestant on the TV show
"Jeopardy" several years ago. Marianne Das used to live in Pittsburgh --
1122 Davis Avenue. I don't know if she knew Earl Segal! (Joke.) It was
Marianne Das who, knowing I wanted to go to law school, gave me a copy
of Justice William O. Douglas's autobiography, "Go East, Young Man." I
think she saw something in me. (In terms of intellectual potential).
12-21-01 I've been summoned for jury duty, and am scheduled to appear on 1-17-02. I'm going to have some fun with this.
12-24-01 I'm taking 9 days off to celebrate Festivus. December 24 to January 1, 2002.
1-2-02
How was your Festivus? My Festivus was a real joy -- one of the best
ever. It reminded me of my Festivus's from childhood, when the whole
family would gather round the Festivus pole and sing Festivus carols.
But back to business. I was excused from jury duty. Actually I was
hoping I'd have to appear. --Then I was going to tell my story in person
in open court -- "I am currently under surveillance by President
Clinton." -- Believe me, I would have said that. Real attention grabber,
I'm sure.
1-3-02
My psychiatrist said I can taper off my anti-psychotic meds. Be
prepared for a wild and crazy guy who will emerge when the meds wear
off!
1-4-02
Elizabeth Joyce [the front desk manager] has been rather jolly. Maybe
she got lucky during her Christmas vacation? Get the scoop on her.
1-7-02 On Wednesday January 2 I told my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, that I
took a graduate course (seminar) in international relations at Temple
University in spring semester 1978. The instructor's name was Lloyd
Jensen, Ph.D., professor in the department of political science at
Temple. One of Dr. Jensen's papers was titled -- "Foreign Policy
Calculation." Maybe Henry Kissinger has heard of Dr. Jensen. -- Find out
what old Lloyd is doing, please.
Message for Bob Morgenthau -- he (the "third person 'I'") would like you to give my regards to Judge Belknap.
[Robert Morgenthau is the District Attorney for New York County. Judge
Belknap tried Colin Ferguson, who carried out a mass homicidal assault
on the Long Island Railroad. Ferguson, who was psychotic, defended
himself at trial, and consistently referred to himself in the third
person. Judge Belknap had been the law partner of New York Mayor Rudy
Giuliani, when they were in private practice.]
1-8-02 Here's an assignment.-- For years now, I felt that a woman in the
neighborhood recognized me. My first interaction with her was in the
spring of 1989 -- I was walking to work (to the subway, that is). I was
whistling the Marseillaise (the French national anthem, you know --
"Allons enfants de la patrie, le jour de gloire est arrive.") Anyway,
she says to me -- "Bastille Day is a long way off." And I said, "Yes,
but it's the big one" -- July 14, 1989 was the French bicentennial
celebration. A breakthrough occurred in about 1993, when I went to the
office of The American Psychological Association to deliver a complaint I
was filing against my former psychologist (William Brown, Ph.D.) -- I
saw the mystery woman in the lobby, and I assume that she works for the
APA. (She may even be a psychologist.) Then on Saturday January 5, 2002,
I saw her at the Cleveland Park Library, chatting with the weekend
librarian "Beth" (name?). They seemed to be acquainted. But here's the
identifier -- mystery woman was checking out a book called "The World of
Jeeves" -- who is mystery woman ! ! ! By the way, I think she's Jewish.
[Note the reference to the French revolution (Bastille Day)].]
1-9-02 Yesterday (1-8-02) at the library, the librarians seemed to have
an attitude of awed admiration. The head librarian (a nice young man,
whose name escapes me), seemed to be eyeing me. I look on this as
training for the time to come when I will have hordes of admiring fans.
I'm so fascinating!
1-10-02 I had an experience in the library yesterday (1-9-02) that was
-- shall we say -- "a tad askew." On Monday I had left a message on my
computer disk (using the library's computer) that was addressed to New
York City District Attorney Robert Morgenthau. Then Wednesday (1-9-02)
somebody left a copy of a letter in the library's magazine exchange -- a
letter written by none other than Robert Morgenthau.
[Attached is letter dated September 20, 1996 with my handwritten
message:] Letter placed in library magazine exchange [at Cleveland Park
Library], Jan. 9, 2002.
[Letterhead states "District Attorney of the County of New York. Robert M. Morgenthau, District Attorney."
I have highlighted the letterhead in yellow. Note that I mentioned
Robert Morgenthau in my message dated 1-7-02. Associations: Linda
Fairstein, Esq., a nationally prominent best-selling novelist, used to
head the Sex Crimes Unit at Morgenthau's office. Fairstein is a friend
of Vernon Jordan and reportedly jockeyed for nomination to the post of
U.S. Attorney General in 1993, in the Clinton Administration (Jordan
headed President-elect Clinton's transition team). John F. Kennedy, Jr.,
Esq. (who died in 1999) was a friend of Vernon Jordan's and worked as
an ADA in Morgenthau's office. New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was Judge
Belknap's former law partner. Judge Belknap tried Colin Ferguson, who
spoke in the third person. My autobiography is written in the third
person.]
A brief note: Yesterday, at the library, I heard the head librarian use
the phrase "in the listening room" -- I associated that phrase to my
session with Dr. Shaffer the previous day, and I thought -- maybe the
clinic tape records my sessions with Dr. Shaffer, and people listen to
the tapes -- is that paranoid ? ? ?
1-14-02 Saturday, in the library, Velvel was talking about his wife's
first marriage. He said it was a disaster -- that her first husband
turned out to be a homosexual. -- Who wants to hear that crap? They have
no idea of what professionalism is. Those librarians need to get a
clue. Maybe things will be different after the revolution!
[Note that the message on 1-8-02 referred to Bastille Day (and by implication, the French Revolution).]
1-15-02 Here's somebody to look into: Dan Korman Esq. Korman was a
lawyer at Hogan & Hartson, 15 years ago, when I was there. He worked
on the Milwaukee School Desegregation case. Super-bright. He had
degrees from Princeton, Columbia, and another one of those big-time
schools. -- Inside info -- Korman had malaria.
[I happened to see a printout of the firm's blood donor list, which
indicated that Korman had had malaria, a vector-borne disease that is
transmitted by mosquito.]
1-16-02 Flash from the past: Here's a list of the names of students who I
remember from my freshman year of college at Penn State (fall 1971) --
These were students in Irma Jean Smith's French class. Don't ask how I
remember them. I wasn't friendly with them -- They were below
acquaintance level.
Barry Groder -- He majored in table tennis. We were in the same swimming
class in the fall 1972. We were both Mark Spitz wannabes. I got to
imagine Groder naked any time I wanted.
A young woman whose last name, I think, was something like Avchen (I
don't remember her first name). She wanted to major in French to become a
translator or interpreter.
Then there were the Levin's. Marcia G. Levin and Barry N. Levin. They
got married in college. They once held hands under the table in French
class -- and Miss Smith (the instructor) had a fit. I think Barry Levin
thought I was a weirdo. Marcia Levin got a job as a checkout clerk in
State College -- in a supermarket. -- She majored in bar codes.
1-17-02 My psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, says she could see a difference in
me while I was on my antipsychotic meds. Now, really! Did you see a
difference? Maybe you could talk to Doc Shaffer, and tell her that she's
full of it.
1-18-01 Here's someone to look into -- Joseph V. Kaplan, Esq. Subject is
an attorney with Passman and Kaplan -- 1090 Vermont Ave NW (789 - 0100)
here in Washington. Kaplan & I were in the same graduating class at
Penn State (May 1975). We had one course together that I remember --
Stanley Cutler's Speech Communications course in the fall of 1972.
Kaplan was active in student politics at Penn State and served as
president of the student government at Penn State's branch campus at
Abington, PA. I remember vaguely that Kaplan used to carry with him at
all times a copy of the Constitution of the U.S., which he would whip
out on occasion. Kaplan's law partner Edward Passman is a graduate of
Harvard Law school, one of the finer schools in the Boston area.
[I vaguely recall that Kaplan's argumentative speech in Stanley Cutler's
public speaking course advocated the adoption by the federal government
of a unicameral legislature.]
1-21-02 / 1-22-02 Double Issue. Could you transmit a message to George
Bush. Ask the President to call Claire Hirshfield. Dr. Hirshfield could
solve the whole India/Pakistan dispute in 10 minutes -- 15 minutes at
the most. Dr. "H" is the world's leading authority on partition, and
understands those Pakkies like nobody else. Once she's solved the
India/Pakistan dispute, she can move on to the Middle-East. It's all the
same case. [Includes my drawing, with the phrase "line of control"
pointing to a line separating India (Israel) and Pakistan (Palestine).]
[Dr. Hirshfield is History Professor Emeritus at Penn State's Abington
campus. She was the finest teacher I have ever had in any field.]
1-23-02 When I was in the ninth grade in high school, I had a home room
teacher named Barbara Sandler. Her husband was a medical student. I can
recall that in school year (1968-1969), my geometry teacher [Santo
Diano] was out one day. Who did they bring in as a substitute? None
other than Barbara Sandler's husband. I can recall that someone in class
had some fruit flies (drosophila melanogaster) in a bottle,
and Sandler sternly warned that you shouldn't play with fruit flies
because they can carry diseases (they are what we in the medical
profession call -- vectors).
["Vector" is a play on words. In medicine a vector is an organism or
animal that carries disease ( a mosquito, for example, is a vector in
malaria). A vector is also a term in mathematics.]
1-23-02 You know what really galls me? -- When a Britisher complains
that other people don't do their job! Why, if it weren't for us bloody
yanks, those Britishers would be speaking German today and curtsying to
the Kaiser. My advice? Next time the Britishers get spooked by the Huns,
let them do their own job! ! !
[Handwritten note, with a pointing arrow:] Did you read this one?
1-24-02 Here's the story behind the story re: one of the tenants. [Note
is appended to CV of Brock Hansen, a licensed social worker whose
professional office is located at 3801 Connecticut Avenue. Document is
printed out from the internet.]
1-25-02 You might want to check into Michael Shapiro, M.D. (230th class -
Central High School). Subject & I were in the same English class in
the ninth grade (Ming the Merciless was the teacher). Subject got A's
all the way through the school year, an unusual accomplishment in Ming's
class. Subject is now a medical doctor who practices in Colorado. Why
do I have the feeling that Feldman already told you about Shapiro?
1-28-02 This is something to bring to David Castleberry's attention: On
Saturday (1-26-02), someone did a move-out and didn't finally finish
until 11:00 PM. The rule is no move-ins or move-outs after 5:00 PM. Can I
have permission to throw eggs on people who don't follow the rules?
Also, since Mr. Castleberry advised tenants not to place things on the
floors in the trash rooms, I've been taking my beer bottles (I have to
drink beer for health reasons) down to the basement. But I notice other
people still leave their junk on the floors. -- Bastards!
1-29-02 Somebody left the attached magazine in the magazine exchange in
the library yesterday (1-28-02). I had the idea it refers to my
successful book that I'm working on. Or is it just wishful thinking on
my part? By the way, how is Marciarose doing? Is she looking forward to
the Easter Parade?
[Attached is cover of October 1990 issue of the magazine "Home Office
Computing" with the cover story "FIRED INTO SUCCESS! When the End of a
Job Means the Beginning of a Business." Depicts man in business suit
carrying a briefcase being fired out of a cannon, with a rainbow above
the man's head.
[Marciarose is a longtime TV personality in Philadelphia. She used to
cover the Easter Parade in Philadelphia. She is married to Jerome
Schestak, Esq., a nationally-prominent attorney and past president of
the American Bar Association. Schestak's law partner is bankruptcy
attorney Michael Temin, Esq., brother of the late Howard Temin, who won a
Nobel prize in medicine and about whom I write in my autobiography.
Both Temin brothers are Central High School graduates (first honor men).
Schestak's son (Jonathan?) is in the movie business. Former Akin Gump
attorney (and Clinton Administration cabinet secretary) Dan Glickman is
currently president of the Motion Picture Association of America.]
1-30-02 Message for Dr. Kay Tatum: I declare that there is always
something weird about a girl who majors in French. She has entered into
her course of study, first of all knowing full well that it can only
lead to her becoming a French teacher, a very grim affair. The least of
whose evils is poor pay, and the prospect of which should have been
sufficient to send her straight into business or public relations. She
has been betrayed into the study of French, heedless of the terrible
consequences, by her enchantment with this language, which has ruined
more young American women than any other foreign tongue.
[Kay Tatum, Esq. is an Akin Gump partner; she holds a Ph.D. in French.
The quoted material is from Michael Chabon's novel, "The Mysteries of
Pittsburgh."]
1-31-02 There's a noticeable quietness in the Cleveland Park Library. A
kind of circumspection. -- Or is it that my antipsychotic meds have
kicked in. I'm still taking 5 mg/day. Here's a name from the distant
past -- June Persing. She used to be Alec Peters' secretary. (I saw Dave
Castleberry in his office this morning -- He looked chipper).
[Alec Peters headed the Science Information Services Department at The
Franklin Institute, in Philadelphia, where I worked from 1970 to 1979.]
2-1-02 This will give you an idea of how my thinking has NOT changed
while I'm on antipsychotic meds (5 mg/day). Yesterday at the library,
Barbara, the librarian, came to me when I first got onto the computer
and handed me a piece of scrap paper with a computer web site written on
it: www.grammaphone.co.uk. She said the site features reviews of music
recordings. My paranoid interpretation was that she wanted me to get
caught up on the web site so that I wouldn't have time to work on my
book. -- Again, we see her passive aggression.
[Attached is scrap of paper: page from calendar, with
"www.grammaphone.co.uk" written on it. An alternative, though not
inconsistent, interpretation of Barbara's behavior is that it was
related to the message on 1-30-02 about Kay Tatum. Barbara Gauntt (the
librarian) has a bachelor's degree in French.]
2-4-02 Here's somebody to look into, if you want to do a little legwork.
RENEE QUARLES. She was Bernard ("Bernie") Epstein's secretary at The
Franklin Institute, in the 1970's. Today is Dr. Palombo's birthday. --
He's moving into his prime.
[The word "prime" might be a play on words. I always thought that Bernie
Epstein had a physical resemblance to Federal Reserve Chairman, Alan
Greenspan. Coincidentally, both Greenspan and Epstein play the
saxophone.]
2-5-02 Here's somebody to look into: Michael Durst, Esq. Subject was a
young lawyer at Sagot & Jennings. He left the firm in the summer of
1981 to attend New York University's Master's Program in taxation. Ask
him if he remembers Anna Kemp. (If you don't get it, you don't get it.) I
think Durst knew I was a pre-morbid psychotic.
[Anna Kemp was a party in firm litigation.]
2-6-02 Somebody has written a book about the tenants in apt. 146.
[Refers to a recently-published book about Daniel Ellsberg.]
2-6-02 Yesterday I told you about Michael Durst, the tax attorney. Well,
wouldn't you guess-- as if on cue, someone left a copy of the "American
Express Tax Guide" in the magazine exchange in the library. (I'm still
loving my antipsychotic meds -- they are incredible).
[Attached is first page of the "American Express Tax Guide 1999."]
2-7-02 Here's somebody to look into: Randall J Sommovilla, Esq. Subject
was an attorney at the law firm of Sagot & Jennings. He worked
part-time off-site. His sole task was writing briefs for appeals. Maybe
that's something I could look into for work. Maybe I should call my old
friend Bobby S. about that.
[One of the previous messages refers to "Bob Strauss on the Boxers vs.
Briefs Controversy." This message may carry a sexual allusion.]
2-8-02 Last night I received a telephone call: The caller asked for
"Elizabeth Freedman" -- you think the call was an innocent mistake?
Possible interpretation: Elizabeth Freedman -- Elizabeth Nietzsche --
Friedrich Nietzsche -- Daniel Ellsberg -- My letter to you dated 2-6-02
about biography of Dan Ellsberg in apt. 146. On another matter: I
noticed there's something in common with all those model buildings that
Dave Castleberry puts together -- What does it mean that The U.S.
Capitol, The Duomo in Florence, and The Taj Mahal all have a dome?
2-11-02 I saw Eleanor Holmes Norton at the Martin Luther King Library on
Saturday afternoon (2/9/02). She was participating in a federal income
tax program for District residents. I wonder if she saw me -- I was the
good-looking white dude. By the way, Prof. Norton looks good in hot
pink.
2-12-02 I'm taking so much medication, I feel like a walking drug store.
Ambien (for sleep)
Zoloft (for depression)
Zyprexa (for paranoia)
Anafranil (for obsessiveness)
Wellbutrin (for depression)
Do you see any changes in me? I wonder what Jay Amsterdam. M.D. would
say about this drug cocktail. I've been edgy & tense since last
week, when I started this.
[Jay D. Amsterdam, M.D. is a psychopharmacologist, associated with The
University of Pennsylvania Medical School in Philadelphia. I
participated in a drug study conducted by Dr. Amsterdam, in 1978.]
2-13-02 I got another telephone call last night for 'Elizabeth
Freedman." -- I think it's legitimate. Maybe I was being paranoid! By
the way, I think I'm falling for Ignacio. I'm wanting his hot Latino
body. He's one senor you can't ignore.
2-14-02 I'm running low on things to tell you about. I've told you about
every person in my background. I have only one thing left -- My
paranoid impressions. Yesterday in the library I noticed that the staff
had a specific and identical expression on their faces when they saw me.
They all smiled except the head librarian -- he's generally not a
smiler. I'm wanting you badly, Ignacio.
2-15-02 A quiet day yesterday. Nothing to report -- I have a message for
Velvel-- Velvel -- You know that sister yesterday who was asking you
about a copy of the Rules of D.C. Superior Court? She's mental. You
suggested that she go to MLK. I don't think you heard what she said out
loud when she went back to her seat. She said: "Martin Luther King
Library is a ghetto library for ghetto people. I'm not going to Martin
Luther King." -- I myself like MLK, and I be white ! ! !
2-18-02 / 2-19-02 Somebody did a move-out (or move-in) on Sunday evening
(2-17-02). The U-haul truck didn't pull out till about 9:45 PM. That's
against the rules!
2-20-02 Here's an assignment: Look into an individual named Melinda
Given Guttman. Professor of Speech, Theater & Media Studies (John
Jay College), City University of New York. She published a book on one
of Freud's early patients (Bertha Pappenheim). She is a protege of
Margaret Brenman-Gibson. The cited book is dedicated to Margaret
Brenman-Gibson.
2-21-02 Yesterday (2-20) in the library Charles Davis was telling the
head librarian the cost of something. Davis said: "It's $47.01." Then,
repeated that. I thought: "That's an odd price for anything." Then I
thought: "That's where my old friend Craig [Dye] lives (or lived), 4701
Connecticut." You think that was just coincidence?
2-22-02 Please reassure Mrs. Joyce that I did not hear -- or overhear --
what she was talking about this morning. Her secret -- whatever it is
-- is safe. She seemed to go scurrying off when she saw me coming up the
steps from the first floor. By the way -- How is Vicki Abt? It's now 30
years exactly.
[Vicki Abt is a sociology professor at Penn State's Abington campus. I
took an introductory sociology course taught by Abt. Abt has appeared on
the Today Show and has written a book on TV talk shows that featured a
discussion of Oprah Winfrey. Abt would be about 60 years old now.]
2-25-02 I worked on my bibliography this weekend at American University.
You can tell the head librarian (at Cleveland Park) that I plan to make
another copy of my book, using the library's computers. He may not like
me using so much paper, but you're allowed 10 pages per day. So, my use
falls within the rules.
[The repeated reference to "the rules" in various contexts suggests that
it has some importance. The references might relate to Wagner's opera
Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg. Possible confirmation of this inference
emerges at a later point in these diary entries.]
2-26-02 I saw Carlos [Chalbaud] in the library yesterday. Apparently he
survived 9/11. As you can see nothing's been going on with me.
2-27-02 Yesterday, when I got to the library, Carlos was sitting at a
table, waiting to get on a computer. I intentionally sat at another
table, to avoid sitting next to Carlos. Now, the head librarian thinks I
might actually be straight after all. I guess I've got HIM fooled!
2-27-02 Message for William Nussbaum-- Weren't you the Hogan lawyer who
had that New Deal poster in your office -- "Freedom from Want" or some
such thing? (Or am I, pardon the term, "crazy?")
[In August 2004 I wrote to Nussbaum requesting that he negotiate an
immunity agreement for Brian Brown under which Brown would divulge
everything he knows about Akin Gump in return for immunity from
prosecution. Nussbaum responded, declining the proposition, but
referring me to the DC Bar Referral Service.]
2-28-02 Speaking of Hogan partners, I can remember that Catherine
Lacroix (with whom I worked for the client Mercedes Benz) had a
photograph in her office that was taken when she was an undergrad at
Harvard. The photo shows Lacroix with other students together with
Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who was a professor of government.
3-1-02 Yesterday was a quiet day. See you Monday.
3-4-02 Sheila J. Landers was a staff attorney at the General Counsel's
Office at The U.S. International Trade Commission, when I interned there
in 1984. She is now practicing at Bill Coleman's firm, O'Melveny &
Myers at Columbia Square (555 13th Street, NW). By the way, 69 years ago
exactly Franklin D. Roosevelt became President of the U.S.
3-5-02 Another name: Glenn A. Fine, Esq. Subject was a law clerk at the
firm of Hogan & Hartson in the fall of 1985, when I first started
working at the firm. Subject worked in an office on the second floor. At
that time (Sept-Dec 1985) I worked with Charles (Chas) Green in the
second floor library. I believe subject had two degrees from Harvard
(bachelor's and law degrees). On one occasion subject sneered when he
overheard me say to Charles Green -- "I have a brilliant legal mind." (I
do!) I think subject knew I was a homosexual who wanted to drag him
behind the stacks and hump his ass.
3-6-02 I feel so much better now that I've some clean, now that I've
come out of the closet. Yes, I loved Glenn Fine. Is that so terrible? It
was the love that dare not speak its name. I loved Glenn in a way
you'll never understand. He was the most wonderful person I've ever
"known!"
3-7-02 As you may have heard, there's a concern that terrorists could
get a nuclear bomb, and set it off here in D.C. No need to panic. What
you need to do, -- and I'm serious -- You'll have to get Judy Glassie to
agree to have this entire building encased in lead. Lead is the only
thing that will block out gamma rays. It would probably only cost a few
hundred thousand dollars. Remember -- only living tenants pay rent!
[There's a possible sexual allusion to the reference to a nuclear explosion. See message at
3-8-02. Also, it was President Franklin Roosevelt who undertook the development of the atom bomb.]
3-8-02 Message for Glenn Fine -- Dear Glenn -- Last night with you was
bliss. I fear that my orgasm has left me a cripple. P.S. -- Enjoyed the
cabin!
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode. Note that the message referring to FDR's
first inaugural (3-4-02) ushered in the arc of Glenn Fine messages.
Incidentally, FDR died in a cabin-like structure in Warm Springs, GA,
where he underwent treatment for paralysis.]
3-11-02 I mailed a copy of my autobiography to Glenn Fine at the Justice
Department. The book is contained on two computer discs. Do you think
anybody will read it -- or just throw it away? Glenn Fine, Inspector
General of the U.S.
3-12-02 I'm still waiting for the shit to hit the fan-- I'm waiting to
see what reaction I get when Glenn Fine gets my letter. You gotta love
those letters!
[The letter to Fine inquired about employment at the IG's office.]
3-12-02 Mr. Cookson [the building engineer] did a good job yesterday --
in record time I may add. Give that man a raise! (I love you, Glenn.)
3-14-02 A quiet day yesterday. I saw my psychologist and we talked about my love for Glenn Fine, the only man I ever loved.
3-15-02 I'm thinking of sending an employment inquiry to Douglas Feith,
Esq. (Central High School, 230th class). Feith is an official in the
Defense Department. He's been working on the nuclear arms agreement with
Russia that Pres. Bush plans to sign in Moscow in May. I love you
Glenn!
3-18-02 It was a quiet weekend. My life, generally, is lacking in what you call excitement.
3-19-02 Another boring day, with nothing to report. I need a man to love.
[The phrase "I need a man to love" is a quote attributed to President
Woodrow Wilson in the Freud/Bullitt psychobiography of Wilson. According
to Freud, President Wilson's relations with significant males, such as
Colonel House, reflected a dual father-son identification in which
Wilson could play the idealized, noble father to a common son in need of
rescue; and alternatively play the common son in need of rescue,
assigning other males the role of the fantasized, idealized father.]
3-20-02 Here's a message for the head librarian at the Cleveland Park
Branch-- There's a patron named "John F." -- He uses the computer and
makes way over the permitted number of pages -- seems like he routinely
makes 20-30 copies. -- "John F." Check him out.
["John F." may be an allusion to President Kennedy.]
3-21-02 Here's an interesting factoid: Harvard Law Professor Lawrence
Tribe has a brother who is a child psychiatrist, Alexander Tribe, M.D.,
who practices in Walnut Creek, California (the Bay Area, I think).
3-22-02 Have a good weekend!
3-25-02 My sex life isn't all that great. I'm thinking I should have become a catholic priest -- my tool would be jumpin'
[Brian Brown is a practicing Catholic.]
3-26-02 I think about Glenn all the time. He was my one and only. I
never forgot about him. The few times, the few moments we had together I
have always cherished in my memory. Yes, Glenn, I loved you. More than
Romeo loved Juliet, more than Mikhail loved Raisa, more than Smith loved
Wesson. Glenn, oh, Glenn -- we could have been so happy together. But
our lives intersect once again ! ! !
3-27-02 I think I'm falling for Ignacio, at the library. He's hot &
he's Latino. I have fantasies of dragging him behind the stacks, and
humping his hot, hairy, Latino ass. Ignacio -- Love you, Sweet Heart.
Will you be my smokin' bitch?
3-28-02 I plan to send an employment inquiry to Judge Richard Klein, PA
Superior Court (Appeals Court). He was one of my instructors at Temple
Law School, which, incidentally, is named for Judge Klein's father (also
a judge) -- "The Charles Klein Building."
[I did, in fact, send an employment inquiry to Judge Klein; the letter
was virtually identical to the one I sent to Glenn Fine at DOJ. Judge
Klein did not reply. Judge Klein taught a course in trial advocacy that I
took in law school.]
3-29-02 Prince Abdullah was here the other night. So he says to me:
Freedman, I've got an offer you can't refuse -- a real opportunity." I
say: "Tell me more." So, Abdullah says: "I'll give you a lifetime supply
of oil, if you'll agree to cut off your left foot." I said, "Abdullah,
I'm intrigued, but I have to tell you right now, I don't drive, so what
do I do with all that oil? And if I cut off my left foot, how does that
help the fungus infection on my right foot?" -- "But please, tell me
more!"
[Ridicules the Saudi Middle-East peace plan. The character Hans Sachs in the opera Die Meistersinger is a shoemaker.]
4-1-02 He ends up under siege in a bunker. Why am I not surprised? All
you need is a couple cyanide capsules and a woman named Eva -- and
you'll be all set for summer reruns.
[Refers to Yassir Arafat confined to his compound in Ramallah. Alludes
to Hitler and his mistress, Eva Braun (Brian Brown?). Note that the
leading female character in Wagner's opera Die Meistersinger von
Nurnberg is named Eva.]
4-02-02 I saw Ben Wattenberg yesterday, at a CVS pharmacy. He was
purchasing athlete's foot spray. I, personally, think he should get a
brush for his think tank.
[The character Hans Sachs in the opera Die Meistersinger is a shoemaker.]
4-3-02 Message for Yassir Arafat: Take the one-way ticket. Believe me,
you won't get a better deal. Just make sure you're wearing that rag on
your head when you file for disability. File for a mental disability.
Believe me, you won't have a problem getting your claim approved.
[Refers to offer by Israeli government to permit Arafat to leave his
compound at Ramallah if he agrees not to come back to the country.
Incidentally, a handkerchief plays a role in the opening action in the
opera Die Meistersinger.]
4-4-02 Here's my one recollection of L. Patrick Swygert. Swygert was a
law professor at Temple University Law School when I was a student
there. He is now the president of Howard University. In the fall of 1981
I took a course in real estate transactions, taught by Joseph Passon.
On one occasion Passon and Swygert were chatting before class. Swygert
said he had eaten at McDonalds. He said he didn't usually eat there, but
that every once in a while he (Swygert) needed a "grease fix."
4-5-02 Message for Adam Shapiro-- What's it like having breakfast with
Hitler? How did you keep your food down, you little ass-kissing freak?
[Shapiro was a young American Jew who paid a sympathy visit to Arafat,
who was confined to his compound in Ramallah. Shapiro and his family
later received numerous death threats from American Jews.]
4-8-02 I told my psychologist that I'm not certain anymore whether you
come in here everyday and read these notes. Please, please don't abandon
me. You're my only contact with the outside world. (By the way, the
couple in apt. 137 are a lively pair).
[The message suggests my identification with the isolated Arafat. See message on 4-5-02.]
4-9-02 Yesterday was a quiet day.
4-10-02 Here's my solution to the Mid-East crisis. What you do is make
former Philadelphia Mayor, Wilson Goode, Prime Minister of Israel. He'd
know how to deal with Arafat. Goode would drop a bomb on top of Arafat's
compound in Ramallah. Good-bye, Yassir!
[In 1985 Philadelphia Mayor Wilson Goode suggested that the police drop a
bomb on the roof of the home where the radical group "Move" had
isolated itself, in West Philadelphia.]
4-11-02 A rare moment of Agreement:
ARIEL SHARON: We're going to chew him up . . .
YASSIR ARAFAT: . . .and spit him out.
[Apparently refers to the upcoming visit of a Mid-East peace envoy.]
4-12-02 What's the meaning of the policy of keeping the chocolate donuts hidden away? Don't you know? I NEED chocolate?
[Undated] The magazine is a nice touch, don't you think?-- It completes the total, super-fag look. Tres chic.
["Chocolate donuts hidden away:" Possible allusion to the symbolic
meaning of the anus: "the secret place" where things are "hidden away."
The message, when read in the context of the previous messages, suggests
an implied comparison between the anus, on the one hand, and, on the
other, my isolation in my apartment and Arafat's isolation in his
compound.]
4-15-02 [Time Magazine cartoon of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, with the caption:
"Arafat . . . Can't live with him, can't shoot him!" I have added the handwritten note:] Muscle Tough!
["Muscle Tough" is a play on the Hebrew "Maazel Tov," or "good luck."]
4-15-02 Please thank Mr. Castleberry for putting the chairs on the sun
roof. I was pleasantly surprised on Saturday when I went up to the roof,
and everything was set up. Good job!
4-16-02 Message for Mr. Castleberry -- Thanks for turning on the AC -- It's delightful! Bully!
["It's delightful! Bully!" is an allusion to President Theodore
Roosevelt, who, incidentally, won a Nobel Peace Prize for his mediation
of the Russo-Japanese War of 1905].
4-17-02 They chewed him up and spit him out -- You heard it here first.
[Refers to an unsuccessful peace mediation effort in the Middle-East.]
4-18-02 In my opinion, there's entirely too much vacuuming in this
building. Tenants here are fairly clean. You don't really need to vacuum
every day. Also, Mrs. Joyce is late every day. She makes Eddie wait.
That's not fair. Show some consideration, Mrs. Joyce.
4-19-02 Message for my Palestinian friends: People in booby-trapped houses shouldn't throw stones!
4-22-02 Did you see the movie: "Changing Lanes?" Here's the Middle-East version --
ARIEL SHARON: See what I can do to you?
YASSIR ARAFAT: I want my life back.
4-23-02 Today is Shakespeare's birthday. Got anything planned?
4-24-02 A little nippy out there, isn't it? I'm being too polite. It's fucking cold out there. "Luxury apartments" -- my ass.
[Note the association of my apartment with the anus. See message on 4-12-02.]
4-25-02 Difficult session with my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, yesterday
afternoon. She doesn't seem to understand my love for Glenn Fine. She
didn't want to review a computer disc I tried to give her, a disc that
contained the results of my investigation of Glenn Fine. I was hurt by
her actions. My love for Glenn is deep and probably eternal. I want to
be a part of the Glenn Fine world. I [heart] Glenn.
4-26-02 Quiet day, yesterday. Stop back on Monday.
4-30-02 There was another "illegal" move-in/move-out on Saturday night.
The truck didn't move out till about 9:00 PM. What's the good of rules
if you don't enforce them?
4-30-02 I had some ideas for a new line of Barbie dolls.
"Unlawful Termination Barbie:" You pull a string in the back, and the doll commits perjury.
"Intifada Barbie:" You pull a string in the back and the damn thing blows up.
[Note the implied identification between my feelings about my job
termination, on the one hand, and, on the other, the grievances of
Palestinians against the Israelis. "Claus Barbie" was the name of a Nazi
war criminal who was captured in the year 1985.]
5-1-02 Happy May Day!
5-2-02 Yassir Arafat: "I'm back, baby, I'm back!"
5-3-02 I think I'm falling for Ben S. at the library. He's looking for a literary agent.
["Ben S." was a library patron who used the public access computers.]
5-6-02 Yesterday was Cinqo de Mayo. It was a sad day for me. I longed
for all my Latino friends, particularly, my dear friend, Ignacio. Love
you, babe.
5-7-02 Sat directly across from Ben S. at the library. W-O-W. When I got
home I had to have a private moment. Man, when that white sticky stuff
started to fly it was a wild scene. Thanks, Ben. You gave me the big one
I was waiting for!
[Ben S. was tall. Possible allusion to "Big Ben" in London, and implicitly, to the passage of time.]
5-8-02 Nothing new to report. I saw Carlos [Chalbaud] yesterday. He seems to be putting on some weight. He needs to work out.
5-9-02 Saw Carlos in the library. It was nice to see his smiling face. I might ask Carlos out on a date.
5-10-02 I saw Julie Sherman this morning at about 10 minutes before 7
AM. She looked at me really oddly. (Julie Sherman is the President of
the Tenants Association). What's up with that? How would Julie Sherman
even know who I am?
5-13-02 I had a Pepsi weekend. Brittany Spears stopped by accompanied by
Bob Strauss. Brittany Spears was thinking young; Bob Strauss was
talking earnings projections. A good time was had by all!
[Strauss is a member of the Pepsi-Cola Board of Directors. A possible
implicit association between a desire for youth and a desire for wealth,
both of which I am in short supply.]
5-14-02 / 5-15-02 (Double Issue) What do you get when you sprinkle salt
water on a brownie? You get a Brine Brownie! (I haven't lost my sense of
humor.)
[Brine Brownie is a play on the name Brian Brown (psychoanalytically,
suggestive of oral incorporation and pathological mourning. Brine is
used as a meat preservative, suggestive of the use of formaldehyde in
embalming.)]
5-16-02 Yesterday, Carlos had just left the library when I arrived. I
was devastated! If only we had come together -- that would have been
cool.
["Come together" is an apparent sexual allusion.]
5-17-02 It's 6:21 PM. Thursday, 5-16. There's a guy outside (looks like a
Marine) -- He's doing an illegal move-in. Not only that-- their truck
is parked in the zone reserved for the front-desk clerk. Bastards!
5-20-02 There's been some talk that Al Qaeda may be planning to rent an
apartment in a high-rise, simply to bring explosives in and blow them
up. May I recommend a site for my friends at Al Qaeda?-- Why don't you
choose 3883 Connecticut Avenue -- The building won't be missed.
[3883 Connecticut, an apartment building directly across from my window, completed in 2002, blocks the view from my apartment.]
5-21-02 Check out Alex Zapruder's book, "Salvaged Pages," published by
Yale University Press. It's a Holocaust book. There's no business like
Shoah business!
[Zapruder is romantically involved with my old friend Craig Dye. She has
worked at the Holocaust Museum. "Shoah" is Hebrew for the Holocaust.
Zapruder's father won a $15 million settlement with the U.S. Government
over ownership of the so-called Zapruder film of the Kennedy
assassination. Note the implication that the Zapruders exploit the
suffering of others for financial gain.]
5-22-02 Carlos was at the library yesterday. Muy, muy caliente! ! By the way, today is Sy Glanzer's birthday.
[Seymour Glanzer is an attorney with Dickstein Shapiro, which
represented Akin Gump in the lawsuit McNeil v. Akin, Gump, Strauss,
Hauer & Feld (Robert Higgins, Esq.). Glanzer used to practice at the
Justice Department and is a friend or acquaintance of Len Garment.
Glanzer has a degree from the Juilliard School and is apparently a
musician. May 22 is also the birthday of the composer Richard Wagner.]
5-23-02 How did you celebrate Sy Glanzer's birthday? I had a wild time.
5-24-02 Here's my take on the Chandra Levy matter: In my opinion, nothing good has ever come out of Brandywine Street.
[The remains of Levy, a Congressional staffer, were found on Brandywine
Street. Gertrude R. Ticho, MD, the psychiatric consultant who reportedly
told Dennis Race I was delusional and potentially violent, resided on
Brandywine Street. Psychoanalytically, in this context, "Brandywine" is a
possible allusion to death; brandy is used to preserve fruit (as
formaldehyde is used as an embalming fluid)].
5-27-02 / 5-28-02 I'm thinking of going to India for lunch. I hear
they're opening a new deli. Specialty of the house? Anything fried.
[Refers to the escalating tensions between India and Pakistan and the
possible use of nuclear weapons by both sides against each other.]
5-29-02 People say: "Why are you celibate?" "You're not a priest." I'll
tell you why: I'm giving myself to Bob Strauss. That's right. I feel it
makes me a better person -- because of abstinence, I'm able to give my
whole being to Bob. Some young men are attracted to the priesthood, but
they have a problem with celibacy. With me it's the opposite: I feel an
attraction to celibacy and an aversion to Catholicism. But I have to say
I like the collars -- Those collars priests wear. In fact those are the
two best things about the priesthood. The collars and the celibacy.
[A dream interpretation I wrote, "The Dream of the Blue Oxford," that
deals with my father's death, refers to the issue of a shirt collar and a
dog collar and contains references to formaldehyde as a tissue
preservative.)]
5-30-02 I planted some flower seeds in the planter on the roof (on the
west side). Little green shoots are starting to come up. I hope people
don't use the planter as an ash tray (which they've done in the past).
[Note the symbolism: the planter is analogous to the womb which houses a
fertilized zygote; an ashtray is a repository of waste material. The
message implies a confusion of vagina and anus.]
5-31-02 PRESIDENT VAJPAYEE [OF INDIA]: "Get me Claire Hirshfield -- and fahst! Hm, you smell that? Is something burning?"
[Refers to the India/Pakistan crisis and the feared use of nuclear weapons by both sides.]
6-3-02 PRIME MINISTER VAJPAYEE: To hell with the people-- How do we protect the cows?
6-4-02 Here's somebody you might want to check out: MOYLAN MILLS
(Central High School, 188th class). Mills was my faculty adviser at Penn
State (Abington -- 1971-1973). He is currently "Professor & Dept.
Head of Integrative Arts" at Penn State's Abington Campus. Obviously, he
is a graduate of my high school (Central HS).
6-5-02 Here's somebody to look into: BARBARA SIEGEL VAN HORNE. I worked
with her at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia about 30 years ago:
She started in the summer of 1971;
She had worked as a librarian at the Phila. Public Library (Central Branch) previously;
She was originally from New York City;
She was Jewish; her husband (van Horne) was doing time for drugs -- he later died;
She was a devotee of the Wagner operas;
She got her job through Richard Groening;
She later worked for Joe Pitts;
She left in 1974; she got a job as a librarian at a college library-- a dream job for her.
6-6-02 Did I mention that Ben S. shaved his goatee and that he's looking
very sexy, y muy, muy caliente? I think I'm going to ask the guy out.
6-10-02 / 6-7-02 [sic] Here's David Rosenbaum's telephone number-- 814
867 9227. I told you about Dave last year. -- 1970 Central High School
grad (229th class). Played violin in orchestra. He wanted to be
creative.
[Rosenbaum is now a professor of psychology at Penn State, my college alma mater.]
6-10-02 Below is a picture of my old supervisor [Christine Robertson] --
I think she's just spotted [Akin Gump managing partner] Larry Hoffman.
[Attached is page 73 of April 2002 issue of Esquire magazine depicting a
female model sitting on a beach; she is sneering, her tongue is
sticking out of her mouth; and she is making an obscene gesture with a
finger of her right hand.]
6-11-02 You may have heard that terrorists have been considering
building and detonating a so-called dirty bomb (a radiological
dispersion device). As I pointed out before, only one thing can help us
-- lead. You need to have a sheet of lead to block out gamma rays, etc.
GET on this PRONTO ! !
6-12-02 Here's somebody to check out: ALAN BEDRICK, M.D. Subject
graduated Central High School in 1970, & went on to get a B.S. &
M.D. from Penn State. (He was in the 229 at Central). He specialized in
pediatrics (that's kids). He used to hang out with the Chanin brothers
at Central. I wonder if he remembers me?
[Bedrick is a neonatologist. The Chanin brothers also graduated from Penn State with degrees in psychology.]
6-13-02 I am an enema combatant. I am opposed to enemas, and I will combat them any way I can ! !
[Note that the message on 6-12 referred to a neonatologist. The
reference to enemas on 6-13 may suggest a confusion of anus and vagina.
This confusion has emerged in other diary entries.]
6-14-02 I've been writing to you for about a year now. Take a break --
and have a good weekend. I'll have something for you on Monday --
promise. My doctor [Dr. Ruttenberg], by the way, is allowing me to stop
taking my anti-obsessive/compulsive medication. Do you see a difference?
[Refers to the drug Anafranil.]
6-17-02 [Pasted at top of page is a note cut out from a publication that
states: "CHECK THIS OUT!"] I lied on Friday when I said I would have
something for you today. That will teach you to trust a psychotic!
6-18-02 I think I've run into a dry spell -- Nothing to report --
Thinking of a mid-life career change -- I may run for Mayor of Nairobi.
[Nairobi is the capital of Kenya. Refers to high school classmate, Perry
Rubenstein, whose stated career ambition in high school was to be Prime
Minister of Kenya.]
6-19-02 For the Chapter: "I was a Teenage Homosexual." I can remember
the first time I set eyes on the future Prime Minister of Kenya. It was
on the afternoon of September 5, 1969 -- a Friday -- in chemistry lab
(near the south lawn). I remember looking around, and seeing a face I
had never seen before. I thought, "Did he just transfer to "Boys
Nation"? This is really queer, but I think I can recall what he was
wearing at the time: a banlon shirt (rust in color -- you know, the
color of ferrous oxide). Little did I know then that one day he would be
elected head of state, and that my own career would be tragically,
suddenly, and brutally ended by a mad terminator who had affiliated with
someone with ties to Moscow and the Communist Party of the Soviet
Union. -- Perry, We Hardly Knew Ya!
[President Clinton, in his youth, was a member of Boys Nation. At about
age 16 President Clinton and fellow Boys Nation members got to meet then
President Kennedy (on the South Lawn?) at the White House. I suspect
there are allusions here to father idealization, the desire to emulate a
father figure, but also the homosexual anxiety associated with placing
the self in the passive position of fulfilling the father's ambitions.
See Peter Blos, "Freud and the Father Complex." The Psychoanalytic Study
of the Child. Note my dual identification with both President Kennedy
(father figure) and the young Bill Clinton (son figure). The fact that
President Kennedy was assassinated suggests Oedipal concerns. Note how I
conflate the assassination of President Kennedy with the issue of my
job termination, as if I see myself as an assassination victim.
I have a remote association to this message, which can be interpreted as
relating to the issue of successorship, a "passing of the torch" from
one generation to the next. I associate the message to the opening
chorus of Wagner's opera, Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg:
When the Savior [the young Bill Clinton] came to thee [John the Baptist/President Kennedy],
willingly accepted thy baptism,
offered Himself up to a sacrificial death,
He gave the covenant for our salvation
that we might consecrate ourselves through His [Bill Clinton's] baptism
so as to be worthy of His sacrifice.
Noble Baptist [President Kennedy]!
Christ's [Bill Clinton's] precursor!
Receive us graciously
there by the river Jordan.
John Kennedy in becoming President fulfilled his father's ambitions and,
in doing so, ultimately met his death. Psychoanalytically, this fact
may relate to castration anxiety or homosexual anxiety associated with
fulfilling the father's ambitions. See Blos, P. "Freud and the Father
Complex." The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child. Note that all the named
parties suffered a demise of one sort or other: John the Baptist was
beheaded, President Kennedy was assassinated; Christ was crucified (and,
according to believers, rose again), President Clinton was impeached
(and was acquitted).
6-20-02 LOST OPPORTUNITIES
GEORGE H.W. BUSH: I should have killed him when I had a chance.
ARIEL SHARON: Right. Tell me about it.
[Bush's comment refers to Saddam Hussein. Sharon's comment refers to Yassir Arafat.]
6-21-02 I had an odd impression at the library yesterday (6-20-02). The
branch librarian -- I don't know his name -- for the sake of convenience
I'll call him "Brian"; well, "Brian" was talking to someone, and I
noticed an unusual modulation in his voice, a kind of animated tone. It
was as if "Brian" were mimicking someone else who had been talking in an
excited manner. Of course, I thought this was related to me somehow. --
Have a good summer.
[Significantly, this is the first instance in which I refer to Brian
Patrick Brown by name. Circumstantial psychoanalytic evidence suggests
that my association to the beginning of summer ("Have a good summer") is
significant. Wagner's opera, Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg takes place
on St. John's Day, which is June 21, the first day of summer. Odd,
don't you think? The opera features a symbolic father-son relationship
between an older, experienced Master (Hans Sachs) and the young, and
highly ambitious son figure (Walther von Stolzing). Sigmund Freud had a
special fondness for Meistersinger and wrote about the opera in a letter
to his special friend, Wilhelm Fliess.
"The Meistersinger afforded me a strange pleasure. A parallel between
[my friend and protector] Breuer and H. Sachs is forced upon me by the
circumstance that he too was in the theater. I was sympathetically moved
by the 'morning dream interpretation melody.'" Sigmund Freud to Wilhelm
Fliess.
Of interest is the fact that in the third act of the opera, Walther
writes a song but has not titled it. Upon hearing the song, Sachs -- in
an outburst of emotion in which he compares Walther's lyrical creation
to the birth of a child -- says "I give the song the name 'The Blissful
Morning Dream Interpretation Melody.'" Sachs refers to his act of naming
the song as "a baptism."
Psychoanalytically, the wider implications of the issue of "the name"
probably relates to the issue of personal identity. Incidentally, I was
born on December 23, 1953 -- near the beginning of the winter solstice
-- the astronomical polar opposite of the beginning of summer (June 21).
One of the few occasions on which I made a personal comment to Brian
Brown was on about December 24, 2003, the day after my fiftieth
birthday. "Brian," I said, "yesterday was my birthday. Do you have a
policy of giving a present to patrons on their birthdays? What I had in
mind was -- could you give me one of those T-shirts?" ("The Friends of
the Cleveland Park Library," a volunteer group, raises funds for the
library through the sale of commemorative T-shirts and other souvenir
items.) The Cleveland Park Library celebrated its fiftieth anniversary
in the year 2003. The library opened in the year of my birth, 1953.
Brian Brown's ban on my access to the library (an institution with which
I have a strong personal identification), in April 2004, was probably
experienced by me as an extreme narcissistic loss.]
6-24-02 So, Malcolm says: "Zibelman? Who the hell is Zibelman? Is it one
of his girlfriends?" No, it's not. Jeffrey Zibelman was a student in my
12th grade English class in high school (1970-1971). He graduated from
Penn State in Spring 1975, in my graduating class. (By the way, what is
EEC [Zibelman's college major])? (Not every Penn State graduate can
become a big-time real estate lawyer [like Akin Gump attorney Earl
Segal, Esq.]). He looked like a compulsive reader. The only activity he
lists in the high school yearbook is "library aide." [See message,
above, dated 6-21-04]. Check out my high school yearbook, page 235
(Upper Left). It's Mr. Plummer's English class. You can catch a good
shot of my back (my head is directly under the teacher's head). There's a
Jeffrey Zibelman who is an elementary school principal at a school in
central Pennsylvania (phone 814 796-2060). Zibelman appeared to be a
non-joiner in high school and college. He also appears to be
anti-necktie.
[My father worked as a garment cutter in a neckwear factory. He had a
disdain for people who did not wear a necktie in socially appropriate
circumstances. "Look at him, he should be wearing a tie," my father used
to say. Note that my father "cut cloth." (Possible reference to
castration fears?)
6-25-02 I have a message for Brian -- Your hair looked really nice,
yesterday, Brian. -- The body, the bounce, the sheen. Are you using a
new conditioner, Brian? --Just keep on doing what you're doing, Brian.
[My father had male-pattern baldness, and I suspected that he envied my
hair. Note that hair, like cloth, is "cut." (Possible reference to
castration fears?)]
6-25-02 Here's the George Bush Mid-East Peace Plan, as reported in
"Variety." WEST BANK STORY. Is it going to be "Sunday in the Gaza Strip
With George" or "Two States Side by Side by Sondheim?"
[Stephen Sondheim was Leonard Bernstein's lyricist -- the two had a professional partnership.]
6-26-02 WEST BANK STORY (CONT'D).
YASSIR ARAFAT: There's a place for us.
[Refers to "West Side Story," a musical by Bernstein and Sondheim, based on Romeo and Juliet.]
6-27-02 Here's what I've noticed at the library. For a while Pauline
[Jones, who works at the circulation desk] was saying "Hello, how are
you?" [to me]. Now, that's stopped, and she's gone back to being the
black-ice princess.
6-28-02 A strange and distressing incident happened yesterday afternoon
(6/27) at about 3:55 PM - 4:00 PM at the Georgia Avenue/Petworth Metro
Station. A Metro transit cop (white male) stopped me near the kiosk on
the mezzanine above the track level. He asked me where I was coming
from, where I was headed, whether I had anything on me he should know
about -- drugs, needles -- He asked to see my arms to check for
injection marks, asked if I use drugs or ever used drugs. I told him I
was in the neighborhood to visit the mental health center (I had a
consult with my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer). He asked me the address (I
said 1125 Spring Road). He stated that there was a lot of drug
trafficking in the neighborhood. His manner was mildly intimidating, and
not at all friendly. The only reason I can see for the stop was that I
was white in an overwhelmingly black/Hispanic neighborhood. I think it
was racial profiling. What was his probable cause for the stop? At no
time did he initiate physical contact. He declined to see my ID, which I
offered.
[Note the reference to personal identity: the issue of "the name," in the form of ID. See the message on 6-21-02.]
7-1-02 THE TRIBULATIONS OF THE ENEMA COMBATANT
PRESIDENT'S PHYSICIAN: Mr. President, just say "go" when you're ready.
PRESIDENT BUSH: Hold it right there! You're not doing any inserting in that area!!
Now, onto a totally unrelated topic: Saturday (6-29) I had an idea of
reference in the library. In the magazine exchange, someone left a
catalogue that was concealed under a magazine. The only part of the
catalogue that was visible was the lower right-hand corner (arrow
pointing to cutout portion of catalogue). It shows a male model with his
hand near the full Monty in his pants -- and the phrase "Escape with
Perry." I thought it referred to Rubenstein, the heterosexual from
Philadelphia.
[The attached portion of the catalogue says: "Escape with Perry Ellis."
Rubenstein "escaped" to Florida during spring break in the 11th grade in
high school.]
7-2-02 Message for Brian-- Listen, guy, I don't like being hassled by
patrons in the library. Louise, your geriatric friend, is a pain in the
ass. But she doesn't have much time left, and the day is coming when
she'll be gone. But there's someone else who really riles me. Her name
(which I picked up from the computer sign-in form) is either "Lori" or
"Seidman." A few weeks ago she got into an ugly dispute with Velvel.
Yesterday was my turn. Yesterday, my buddy Ben and I were on the
computer. The patron in question signs up, then asks Ben if he's going
to take all his time. He says he might. (She asks this of people --
including me -- every time she signs up.) She turns to me -- I KNOW what
she's going to say, and I burst out "Yes, I am" before she finished
asking me the question. She walks away without comment. Ben gets off the
computer and the patron gets on. She says nothing to me. Then I get off
the computer, I stand to leave, and Velvel tells me nobody is waiting
to get on, and that I can stay on for a bit longer, -- which I do. Then
the patron starts in -- saying to me: "He lets you stay on past your
time. Gee, aren't you lucky. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy." She
looks at me. I said nothing and did not return her gaze. She left me
alone after that. My provisional diagnosis-- Borderline or narcissistic
personality disorder.
1. Note the envy (She thinks I'm getting special favors)
2. Note the hypersensitivity (she was hurt by my "rudeness" and did not,
or was unable, to metabolize her pain -- that pain remained for
apparently 15 minutes)
3. Projective Identification -- Her comments to me were an attempt to
get me into a scene, thereby transferring her angry state to me. She
could, in turn, play the victim, i.e., the victim of my anger toward
her.
4. Lack of empathy / intrusiveness (boundary breach) / sense of
entitlement: Her act of routinely approaching computer users to ask how
long they are going to be on, without regard to how annoying she is by
doing this as an invariant behavior. I suspect Velvel's problem is that
he let her suck him into her game. Watch out for borderlines -- they're
trouble.
7-3-02 Apropos of my letter of 7/2
MARSHALL MACLUHAN: Do you plan to use up your entire 15 minutes of fame?
BEN: I might.
MARSHALL MACLUHAN: And you, do you plan to --
FREEDMAN: YES, I DO ! !
7-4-02 / 7-5-02 Here's a recollection from July 1968, 34 years ago. I
was in Atlantic City with my father. My father was talking to Edward
Blum. Blum was talking about his two kids: Jay and Susan. He said that
Jay (13 years old at the time) was taking guitar lessons, but that he
spent his time playing his own stuff, instead of practicing his assigned
music. Blum said that his daughter Susan (the older child) was working
on "Clair de Lune" (by Debussy), a difficult piece. Susan Blum played
piano. She entered Glasboro College (Where Lyndon met with the Commies
in '67 -- Do you remember Kosygin's daughter [I think it was] went to a
performance of the opera "La Gioconda" while she was in the states with
daddy). Anyway, Susan Blum entered Glasboro with the intent to study
music. She gave that up and majored in something else. Reportedly, she
said music majors had to "eat, sleep, and breathe music" 24/7, which she
couldn't do, -- anything connected to music I can recall. What I'm
wondering is -- whatever happened to Eddie Lischin? I notice I never
read about him in the alumni news letter. Did he ever do anything with
his life -- like become a marine biologist? Or did he just end up
pretending to be an architect? I remember the last time I saw him --
spring 1968. Jay Blum's bar mitzvah. He was sporting a ponytail. Who has
a ponytail in a non-ponytail country? ?
[Compare the message dated 6-25-04 about Brian Brown's hair; the context
of the message relates to my father. This message about Edward Lischin
expressly refers to my father.]
7-8-02 JOE'S FRUIT STAND
FREEDMAN (on telephone): Hey, Greenberg--
GREENBERG: Yea?
FREEDMAN: Remember when we were in high school?
GREENBERG: Yea?
FREEDMAN: Twelfth-grade social studies?
GREENBERG: Yea?
FREEDMAN: You sat directly in back of me.
GREENBERG: That's right.
FREEDMAN: Did you think I looked like a fag?
GREENBERG: No. I thought you looked like a psychotic.
FREEDMAN: Thanks. (hangs up phone).
FREEDMAN: See? Greenberg says he didn't think I looked like a fag.
RUBENSTEIN: SO? What do you want ME to do?
FREEDMAN: Well, I got calls out to six other guys asking them if THEY thought I looked like a fag.
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode, "The Mango," in which Jerry Seinfeld
telephones a former girlfriend to find out if she had orgasms when they
were dating.]
7-8-02 SPECIAL EDITION. Could you tell Dave Castleberry that the firemen
smashed the window in the door to the roof deck (8th floor -- the Doc
Ceaser entrance) -- They also punched out the locks to the door. By the
way, I gotta tell you -- 11:00 PM a lot of people are having sex (normal
or solo). It's hard to go on when those alarm bells are going.
Personally, I lost my erection. I think I'm going to sue WRIT. "Damages
for lost orgasm."
[Refers to fire in apartment building to which fire fighters responded.
Note the psychosexual implications of the idea of "fire." "They also
punched out the locks to the door" -- possible symbolic reference to
breaking the hymen. Years ago, I used to masturbate on the roof of the
building. Martin Ceaser, MD, a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst, whose
professional office is in the building, also used to reside in the
building, and would occasionally sit on the roof deck.]
7-9-02 Twelfth-grade social studies -- Everyday the teacher [Jacob Finkelstein] used to call the roll at the start of class.
Adams
Boig
Boi-man
(?)
Cohen
Day-Vuh-Ohno
Eisenstock
Fweed-man
Gween-boig
or translated--
ADAMS
BERG
BERMAN
(?)
COHEN
DEVUONO
EISENSTOCK
FREEDMAN
GREENBERG
[Note that the first Act of the opera Die Meistersinger features a
meeting of the Mastersinger guild, where there is a roll call of names
-- once again, the issue of "the names" (or personal identity). See the
message on 6-21-02.]
By the way, I think Jay Berman was the only person with a brain in this
group. This is the only thing I remember about Berman. In the eleventh
grade (1969-70 school year) in Mr. Rosenbaum's English class, somebody
mentioned that Nasser (Pres. Nasser of Egypt) had died. Berman said:
"So, what do you want me to do, say Kaddish?"
[Kaddish is a Hebrew prayer for the dead. As Rabbi Wohlberg would point out -- it's actually written in Aramaic.]
7-10-02 Here's somebody you can look into-- RICHARD ORODENKER (Central
High School, 229th class, 1970). Subject sat next to me in 9th grade
French class, taught by Edith Procter (who, incidentally, had been one
of Linda Miller's French teachers at Girls' High School). Subject
thought that my having both Mr. Price and Elliot Cades (Ming the
Merciless) in my freshman year, was a brutal fate. In French class I was
a freshman in a class of 10th graders. Toby Apel (the professional
violist) was in that class. Orodenker was active in his synagogue. [Note
the immediate transition from a religious reference to a sexual
reference:] By the way, I whacked off for 40 minutes this morning. I had
to. It's called "mitigation of damages." You know, if WRIT's lawyer
says to me at my deposition, "What did you do, if anything, to mitigate
your lost orgasm," I'll be able to say -- "Well, if you really must
know" -- If you have to, you have to!
[Several of the diary entries contain associations of sexual content with religious content.]
7-12-02 I heard that Malcolm went to Arnold Shapiro with the idea for an
All-Akin Gump "Big Brother" reality-TV series. The only problem was
that Malcolm couldn't find 12 Akin Gump employees who could pass the
psych test.
[Arnold Shapiro is the producer of the CBS-TV reality series "Big
Brother." Note the possible biblical allusion to the patriarch Abraham.
God promises Abraham that He will not destroy Sodom and Gomorra if
Abraham can identify 10 righteous people in the cities. Malcolm Lassman
(a kind of patriarch), together with Robert Strauss, founded the
Washington, DC office of Akin Gump, in the year 1971.]
7-12-02 Here's somebody to contact -- The sales representative at Eli
Lilly -- The drug manufacturer that makes Zyprexa, the anti-psychotic
medication I was taking, and which did nothing for me (even after 6
months.) Paul Booth, Sales Rep., Neuroscience Business Unit, Eli Lilly,
Neuroscience Division, 3524 S. Stafford Avenue, Arlington, VA 22208
phone (703) 931-5686. See what he makes of my autobiography.
[Note that Eli is Hebrew for God. As the Big Jew in the Sky once said:
"Eli, Eli, why hast thou forced me to take antipsychotic meds?"]
7-16-02 Here are two people to look into: ROBERT FLIEGELMAN - LAWRENCE
FOGEL. Subjects were in my home room class in high school. (Central High
School, 230th class, 1971). I had nothing to do with these people, but
I'm running out of people to tell you about. The two subjects were close
friends. I vaguely recall in 12th grade, a substitute home room
teacher, Miss Brody, said -- "What, are the two of you brothers?" The
relationship between the two was an unusual one. I think Fliegelman was
in my 12th grade English class taught by Mr. Plummer. I vaguely recall
Fliegelman was excited about getting accepted to Muhlenberg College.
Both Fliegelman and Fogel list medicine as their career objective in the
high school yearbook (neither is listed in the current physicians'
directory). Fogel was super smart; he achieved scholastic honors.
7-16-02 [Cut out from magazine:] Yeah, I'm so fucking bored.
7-17-02
YASSIR ARAFAT: Why did things turn out like this for me? I had so much
going for me when I was younger. Well, maybe not academically. But I
always knew what people were thinking at a party.
KING ABDULLAH: You've become George.
YASSIR ARAFAT: Don't say that!
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
7-18-02 Please tell Dave Castleberry (he's the resident manager -- his
office is on the second floor -- ask Mrs. Joyce for directions) -- The
cardboard on the outside of the door leading out to the roof deck -- the
door whose glass got smashed [by the fire fighters] -- THAT cardboard
fell off & needs to be taped up.
7-19-02 The city wants to cut the library budget in order to help its
budget problems. RIDICULOUS! The city needs to get at the root of the
problem -- and not simply cut the weeds at their tops. The problem is
literacy. -- Too many people reading too many books. My solution-- cut
the school budget. Make reading an elective course in elementary school.
Let the little six year olds decide for themselves if they want to
throw away their lives as literate adults. In my mind, it's a
no-brainer. Slash the school budget, and in 10 to 20 years, nobody will
even NEED libraries.
7-22-02 No news today.
7-23-02 I've really run low on things to tell you about. I'm really
scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one. Here's the name of
someone from my high school graduating class (Central High School, 230th
class, 1971). DAVID POMERANTZ. Subject was in my 11th grade algebra II
class. That was the class in which I heard Rubenstein say I looked like a
fag (a male homosexual). Pomerantz was a library aide (maybe he knew
Zibelman). Pomerantz won't remember me.
[Note the connection between the message on 7-19 about the library
budget, and the message on 7-23 that refers to the high school library
aides Pomerantz and Zibelman.]
7-24-02 Here's what I call "The Single Bull-Shooter Theory"
RUBENSTEIN: I make one comment thirty years ago. Who the hell knew he would turn into a one-man Warren Commission?
[Perry Rubenstein called me a fag in high school -- a fact that I seem
never to have gotten over. Note the allusions to the Kennedy
assassination, namely, the Warren Commission and "The Single
Bull-Shooter Theory." Jack Ruby, who killed Lee Harvey Oswald, was
originally named Rubenstein.] 7-25-02 I have a message for Alex
[Bernstein] -- Listen, Alex, I got a tape of one of your father's
[Leonard Bernstein's] Norton Lectures at Harvard, from 1973: Tape No. 3
-- "Musical Semantics." Right off the bat, your father says something
that's flat out incorrect. Talking about the semantics of a particular
sentence, he points out that it is ambiguous, and susceptible of two
interpretations. The sentence is: "The whole town was populated by old
men and women." Your father says one can interpret this to mean--
1) The town was populated by old men and OLD women, or
2) The town was populated by old men and women OF ANY AGE.
But there's a third meaning, which Pops omitted (or, of psychoanalytic significance, may have repressed). The possibility is:
"The town was populated by [descendants of] old men and women."
The "deletions" implicit in the third construction are:
1) Old men and women of childbearing age had sex;
2) at least some of the women had babies;
3) the babies grew up, and now POPULATE the town.
Your father limited the phrase "populated by" to mean only that old men and women RESIDE IN the town.
The third meaning construes "populated by" to be a verb, that is "old
men and women engaged in procreation" -- the product of which act now
populate, or reside in, the whole town.
Psychoanalytically, what is interesting is that the third interpretation
can be rephrased to highlight a specific fact that is absent from (or,
repressed by) your father's two constructions. That fact is: "Each
resident of the town, at birth, had an old man as a father." I.e., your
Pops may have been repressing issues relating to his own father complex.
(Like Beethoven himself). --Give my regards to [your sister] Nina.
[Interestingly, in the cases of both Bernstein and Freud the respective
mothers were about 18 years old when their sons were born; the
respective fathers were considerably older. Bernstein and Freud (like
the biblical Joseph) had "old men" as fathers. My own father was 47 when
I was born, on December 23, 1953. Perhaps a disparity in the ages of
mother and father can heighten a child's disposition to create a Family
Romance fantasy: "That old man cannot possibly be my father; he is so
much older than my mother. Someone else must have sired me." My own
mother was nine years younger than my father.]
Something just occurred to me. Assuming Lenny was repressing material
relating to his father complex, then you can see a metaphorical quality
in his lecture dealing with Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony [no. 6].
--Lenny embarked on a merry jaunt in semantics to escape from the intrapsychic reality of his father complex
--Beethoven embarked on a merry jaunt in the country to escape the
confines of city life (which is itself a metaphor, since all Beethoven
was doing was setting down notes on a page). Personally, for me, I have
to say, "I would rather 'Escape with Perry.'"
7-26-02 Later, dude. By the way, I forgot to mention that July 24 was
the 15th anniversary of Daniel Cutler's trip to Philadelphia to attend a
David Bowie concert. He went to see the Liberty Bell, too -- but was
disappointed by the small size of the pavilion.
7-29-02 I got a bit of a peeve with these so-called supportive
psychotherapists. They don't like you to talk about the same thing week
after week. --Like you're there to entertain them! I've been talking
about Rubenstein for over a month now, -- and my therapist wants me to
give it a rest. -- As if, if I talk about something else the content of
the other topic won't be determined by the same factors that underlie my
current Rubenstein obsession! I thought of a joke. A diabetic complains
about his illness -- about his having to prick his finger a couple
times a day to get a blood glucose reading. The diabetic's friend says:
"Maybe you're not even diabetic. Why don't you prick your foot -- maybe
you'll get a different reading!" -- Yea, sure.
[An earlier message -- a joke about the Saudi Middle-East peace plan --
also featured a reference to the foot. The character Hans Sachs in Die
Meistersinger was a shoemaker.]
7-30-02 RIDDLE -- Why did the chicken cross the hall? ANSWER-- Because
the apartment manager put a new door out to the roof deck, but didn't
distribute new keys.
7-31-02 Tell you what I did. I planted orange seeds on the roof. In a
few weeks we should be getting our first crop of Valencia oranges. I
figure this could be a whole new revenue source for WRIT.
[The French Revolution was triggered when the government attempted to raise additional revenue through taxation.]
8-1-02 Not much happening. I'm watering my orange trees. It's getting
really exciting -- Imagine, an orange grove on the roof! I feel like
Marie Antoinette at Versailles -- You know, L'Orangerie -- (Ask Dr.
Hirshfield).
[For her amusement, Marie Antoinette had an orange grove planted at
Versailles; it was called "L'Orangerie." Note the implications of the
reference to Marie Antoinette. She was a queen who was beheaded in a
revolution. The reference to the Queen (a royal figure) carries
implications about the Family Romance Fantasy and Oedipal issues.]
8-02-03 I am so alone, so lonely. It's not like it was years ago, when I
used to run around with my buddies, picking up babes. Now, no one
writes, nobody calls. All my old friends from years ago -- friends who
would support me to the ends of time, or so, they said -- are all gone.
What do I have to live for? Sure, maybe a Nobel prize, or a Supreme
Court appointment, but who the hell wants to spend a week in Stockholm?
[In the paper "The Fantasy of Having a Twin," Dorothy Burlingham writes
that the latency age child, in rebellion against his parents who have
failed to gratify his Oedipal desires, may annihilate the parents in
fantasy. In his consequent loneliness the child may create an imaginary
twin sibling to mitigate the pain of isolation. The fantasy of having a
twin sibling is oedipal in origin, and reflects the frustration of the
child's Oedipal wishes, his consequent Oedipal rage, and associated
annihilation anxiety. "The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child," volume 1.
Note, incidentally, that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is
married to a tax attorney (Martin Ginsburg) and also speaks fluent
Swedish. Compare message at 7-31-02.]
8-2-02 By the way, Franz Liszt's Faust Symphony was first performed on
Sept. 5, 1857 -- EXACTLY 112 years (to the day) before I saw
Frankenstein for the first time [in high school chemistry lab]. I
remember the Philadelphia Orchestra performed the piece [the Faust
Symphony] in the fall 1982 season -- I went to TWO performances! Ricardo
Muti conducted, I think. Whatever happened to Muti? I notice I never
read about him in the alumni newsletter.
[Frankenstein is a punning reference to Perry Rubenstein. Frankenstein,
as an artificial being created in a laboratory, is unique and is
therefore unable to find an object suitable for narcissistic mirroring.
He is unable to find someone who bears his likeness, a "twin." The
character Frankenstein suffered from extreme feelings of isolation. The
editor of one edition of the novel states that Mary Shelley's
"Frankenstein" "offers searching illumination of the human condition in
its portrayal of a scientist who oversteps the bounds of conscience, and
of a monster brought to life in an alien world, ever more desperately
attempting to escape the torture of his solitude."
The phrase "I notice I never read about him in the alumni newsletter" is
a quote from the Seinfeld episode, "The Marine Biologist."]
8-5-02 Here's a heads-up on the next big scandal that's going to rock
the country-- Sexual abuse by accountants, with Arab-sounding names. You
heard it here first.
8-6-02 Nothing to report. Slow news day.
8-7-02 I'll tell you what I think are my two main characteristics:
--I'm dependent
--I'm very good-looking
I suppose you could say that I'm a parasite to behold!
8-8-02 Did Dr. Sadoff ever tell your friends that his cousin, Norman
Carroll, was for many years, the concertmaster of the Philadelphia
Orchestra? If you talk to Norm, tell him I used to live across the
street from the Academy [of Music on Locust Street in Philadelphia], and
used to go to concerts all the time -- many of them I can still
remember. I think one of the most memorable was when the Orchestra just
got back from its European tour in Sept 1982. They played the Brahms 2nd
under Muti -- magnificent performance -- the audience went wild.
[Robert L. Sadoff, MD, is a nationally-prominent forensic psychiatrist
who used to be associated with the Temple University Law School Unit in
Law and Psychiatry. My sister worked as a secretary at the unit while
she attended college at Temple. I met Dr. Sadoff when I was thirteen
years old.
The phrase "the audience went wild" is a quote from the Seinfeld episode, "The Marine Biologist."]
8-9-02 Here's some background information for Dr. Sadoff and his cousin
Normal Carroll. It concerns the internationally-renowned conductor
Claudio Abbado. During World-War II, Abbado's parents hid a Jewish kid
from the fascists, in their house. Abbado's parents were R.G.'s
[Righteous Gentiles] (if you don't get it, you don't get it.) Dr. Sadoff
belongs to an organization that gives recognition to R.G.'s.
8-12-02 JOE'S FRUIT STAND -- PART II
LIBRARIAN: If you need help with the computer, I can walk you through it.
FREEDMAN: Help? How can you help me?
LIBRARIAN: I can show you how to press those buttons, buddy.
FREEDMAN: How much time do I get?
LIBRARIAN: 70 minutes.
FREEDMAN: What if it's enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep?
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
8-13-02 Message for Brian -- You seemed put off by me yesterday, Brian
-- Was it my breath, my deodorant, or what? You were so friendly last
week. What happened? You need to bring that little green monster under
control.
8-14-02 Message for Glickman-- Hey man, where's my food stamp
re-certification. I'm just a poor, helpless psychotic -- or so your
partners say. If you ask me, the correct diagnosis is paranoid
scamophrenia -- But just who is doing the scam? By the way, have you
talked to Ronnie lately-- What did he think of his uncle Alex? How is
Ronnie enjoying his retirement?
[Yellow post-it note attached to page stating:] Message to self-- 1. Put on toupee / 2. Part the Red Sea
[Refers to retired California state court Judge Ronald Schoenberg, son
of the great 20th century composer Arnold Schoenberg (who wrote an opera
titled "Moses and Aaron.") Judge Schoenberg's uncle was the composer
Alexander Zemlinsky. Judge Schoenberg fined O.J. Simpson for spousal
abuse in 1989. Yellow note message is a joking reference to the actor
Charlton Heston who had recently announced that he suffered from
Alzheimer's disease. Heston had portrayed the biblical Moses in "The Ten
Commandments." (The note reflects anger about Heston's rude comments
concerning President Clinton's gun control policies.) The reference to
Moses may be an allusion to the Family Romance fantasy. Moses was the
son of lowly Hebrews but was raised by an Egyptian Princess.]
8-15-02 Hey Glickman, What's the deal with mad cow disease? I don't get
it -- like cows don't have a right to be mad? They've been herded,
confined, slaughtered, milked dry -- and then there's McDonald's --
Don't even get me started on that. My point is, after five thousand
years of this -- wouldn't you be Mad? On another matter -- Happy
Birthday, Big Bro. -- Time to mark off another year on the calendar,
Tristan-man.
["Big Bro" refers to Vernon Jordan, whose birthday is 8-15. The
reference to cows and McDonald's ("Old MacDonald had a farm") may be a
reference to "sheep fuckers," a possible allusion to a Family Romance
fantasy. Oedipus, the son of a king, was banished by his father at
birth, and raised by a lowly shepherd. Note that Vernon Jordan is a
black man of humble origins
who worked his way to the highest levels of a white-dominated society:
suggesting the issue of a man alienated from his origins, like Oedipus
himself. The character Tristan, like Oedipus, lost his father in
childhood ("Is this the meaning then, you old pathetic shepherd's tune,
of all your sighing, pastoral sound? -- On evening's breeze it sadly
rang when, as a child, my father's death-news chilled me." Tristan and
Isolde, Act III, Scene 1.) Incidentally, "Tristan" was Leonard
Bernstein's favorite Wagner opera.]
8-16-02 LUNCH AT TOPPIE'S
FREEDMAN: Try a piece of this pie. It's really good.
GLICKMAN: (shakes head).
FREEDMAN: No, really. It's delicious. Try some.
GLICKMAN: (shakes head.)
FREEDMAN: Do you not like pie? Are you averse to pastry? Tell me! I have to know!
GLICKMAN: Well, if you really must know, I once had a bad pie experience.
FREEDMAN: Apple? Peach?
GLICKMAN: Boysenberry.
[As Clinton Administration Agriculture Secretary, Glickman was the victim of a pie toss by an angry protester.]
8-10-02 So, how is Sally MacVey doing these days?
[MacVey was a coworker at The Franklin Institute.]
8-20-02 JOE'S FRUIT STAND -- PART III
FREEDMAN: Give me my youth back!
RUBENSTEIN: No.
FREEDMAN: Please!
RUBENSTEIN: No!
FREEDMAN: I can make it happen this time. I know I can make it happen.
Give me half an hour. -- 15 minutes -- Give me 15 minutes. I know I
could turn my life around.
RUBENSTEIN: No!
FREEDMAN: You don't want it to happen. That's it.
RUBENSTEIN: No, that's not it. You know what rejuvenation does to a friendship? It kills it.
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode and Goethe's "Faust." Faust entreats
Mephistopheles to restore his lost youth, that is, he asks
Mephistopheles to recapture lost time.]
8-21-02 Message for Brian and Velvel-- Your friend Lori was in top form
yesterday (8-20-02). Not only was she using someone else's time on the
computer, but then she sees another patron (Raaj?) using a cell phone.
She asks to borrow it to make a call. The patron gives it to her. Then
later, she asks to borrow it again! She's like a butterfly going from
flower to flower,-- if there's nectar, she has to take a taste.
8-22-02 Here's somebody to look into: LINDA BUSHYEAGER. She worked at
the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia in the same office with my
mother. She used to edit air pollution abstracts. She was half-Jewish.
8-23-02 Sunday is Lenny's birthday -- 84 years of Lenny.
[Refers to Leonard Bernstein, who died in 1990. The last piece Bernstein
conducted, weeks before his death, was the Beethoven Seventh Symphony
(coincidentally, like the Prelude to "Tristan," a musical work in the
key of A). It was noted, in retrospect, that the tempos Bernstein took
were ever so slow, as if he sensed it was his valedictory: as if he
wanted, like Faust, to prolong the moment -- the sublime moment. Years
earlier, in the Harvard Norton Lectures (1973), Bernstein conducted the
Prelude and so-called "Love Death" from Wagner's Tristan and Isolde, and
afterwards said to the audience: "I don't think I ever conducted
Tristan so slowly. It's as if all the clocks in the world had stopped
and we are operating only on Wagner's clock, a celestial clock."] (I am
reminded at this moment of Isaiah 25: "He will destroy death forever.")]
8-26-02 I think I saw [former assistant building manager] Bonnie Jensen
this morning. I'm hallucinating again. All I can say is -- if I start
seeing [former building manager] Elaine Wranik -- well, I don't even
want to go there.
8-26-02 I'm comfortable around Brian because, for one thing, I'm very
comfortable with my own sexuality. I wonder, though, if Brian isn't a
little uncomfortable having an overtly straight man as a friend.
8-27-02 Here's an odd recollection: GARY COHEN. He played the violin in
my high school orchestra in my freshman year (1967-1968). I never saw
him after that. All I remember is that I heard him playing on one
occasion and I was impressed. That's odd, isn't it?
Cohen is not listed in my high school yearbook. He must have transferred
out of the school. He had light hair -- maybe the whole thing is
homosexual on my part. He had an outgoing manner. -- (How many pages do
you think David Rosenbaum has added to his resume in the last week?)
8-28-02
FOR THE CHAPTER: "DON'T YOU MISS THE OLD DAYS?"
FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT: I just have one goal. And it's to get those three the hell out of here.
MARTIN, BARTON & FISH: We thought we were running this game? We weren't running anything.
[Parody of "Big Brother 2." Martin, Barton, and Fish were nemeses of FDR.]
8-29-02 You need to convey this message to Brian. "CPK" is always
acquiring new books. There's always a ton of new books. But you don't
seem to add that much to your CD collection. You need to start buying
new CD's on a regular basis. The hell with new books. You already got
plenty of books.
8-30-02 Message for Brian -- Listen, guy, -- Don't let anybody tell you
that size doesn't matter. Your's is just so small, I can't get any real
satisfaction. Down at MLK, -- The brothers down there -- HUGE, MAN,
F'ING HUGE. I don't even think I could fit the whole thing in. My
apartment is too small. You really need to increase the size of your CD
collection.
9-2-02 / 9-3-02 Good Old Times from the Grand Old Party -- "The Floridian & The Texan"
KATHERINE HARRIS: A lot of these people have no idea of the things that
I've done in my life. And, OK, yea, I mean, OK, we can't go as far as
the 2000 vote count incident, although that was just the tip of the
iceberg. There are so many other little, just nasty, little
psychological games, if that's the way they want to play. I was gonna be
quiet.
JEB BUSH: I'm scared of you.
KATHERINE HARRIS: No, I was just gonna be quiet, and you said I should say something.
JEB BUSH: You are the baddest bitch. I'm horrified of you. You're so damn scary. [Both laugh.]
[Parody of "Big Brother 2.." Refers to the Florida Secretary of State,
Katherine Harris and her role in the election year 2000 vote count
affair in that state.]
9-4-02 I thought we were going to get a new exercise room. The room, as
it is now, is unbearably hot, at times. To tell you the truth, I'd
rather work out in hell -- they say it's a different kind of heat.
[Note the implied relationship between the content and locale of the
message on 9-2-03 and the express reference to hell in the message on
9-4: evidence that the messages from day to day are associations to each
other.]
9-5-02 This afternoon marks 33 years of Rubenstein. Need I say more? By
the way, some Romanian Jews claim they discovered a new chemical
element. Its chemical symbol is "Nu?"
[I first saw Rubenstein in chemistry lab on September 5, 1969, in high
school. Rubenstein went to Florida on spring break in 1970. In an
earlier message I associated Rubenstein to Goethe's Mephistopheles (the
devil). Rubenstein attended Penn State.]
9-6-02 More for the chapter: "I Can't Believe I Remember this Crap!"
1. In my second year at college at the Ogontz campus of Penn State, I
took a course in Eastern Philosophy (Buddhism, Taoism, etc.) taught by
George F. Rieman. This was in the spring term, 1973. One day Dr. Rieman
was out, and another philosophy instructor Priscilla Cohn filled in for
him. This was my only contact with Priscilla Cohn. At the beginning of
the class Miss Cohn (she was a young babe) called the roll. I remember
her calling out the name "Malove." Malove was a guy in the class about
whom I have absolutely no recollection. He's not in my college yearbook.
I don't know what he looks like. The only reason I remember the name is
that when Priscilla Cohn stated the name "Malove" -- she laughed, and
said, "Oh, does anyone ever say "Mi-love" (like the British term of
endearment -- like "Have some more tea, mi-love"). Malove said, "Yes,
sometimes." My head is full of junk like that.
2. My freshman year in high school (1967-1968), my homeroom teacher was
Barbara Sandler. I can recall that directly across the hall Miss
Schubert (later Mrs. Miller) had a tenth-grade homeroom class. I had a
thing for Miss Schubert. -- Nothing sexual, of course.
9-9-02 I have a message for Alex [Bernstein]. Listen, Alex, I've been
watching tape #5 of Pops' "Unanswered Question" where he lectures on
20th Century music. This is probably just a coincidence, but two of the
works Pops plays have something in common. Alban Berg wrote his violin
concerto in memory of Manon Gropius, who had died at age 18. She was
Alma Mahler's daughter. Then the final movement of the Mahler 9th
Symphony -- at the end it contains a brief quote from one of the
[Mahler's] Kindertotenlieder --Thought to be a reference to Mahler's
deceased daughter.
9-10-02 Yesterday (9-9) they checked for leaks, as you know. As you can
hear, the toilet still leaks -- constantly. Apparently the WRIT engineer
needs a hearing aid.
9-10-02 (BONUS ISSUE) MESSAGE FOR THE PM -- Did you know that it was the
Jews themselves who were behind the surprise attack on Israel in 1973
-- the so-called Yom Kippur War? PROOF: Tens of thousands of Jews didn't
show up for work that day-- The Bastards!
[Refers to allegation that Jews were behind the 9/11 attack because,
supposedly, many Jews did not show up for work at The Twin Towers on
9/11.]
9-11-02 This is my twin towers memorial. I'm living proof of the saying
-- "More people live off of anti-Semitism than die of it." As Alex
Zapruder would say: "There's no business like Shoah business." And to
all you Jews out there who didn't show up at work on 9-11-02 -- Be
advised -- the jig is up.
[Attached are the check stubs for rental payments for October 2002 and
November 2002. Originally, the entire checks were attached, vertically,
to symbolize the twin towers.
Alex Zapruder is romantically involved with my old friend Craig Dye. She
wrote a book about the Holocaust, and has worked at the Holocaust
Museum.]
Message for Rubenstein: Listen, Rubenstein, you should have tried Prime
Minister of Italy. Those guys serve about three months, at most, get
voted out of office, then do nothing but collect a pension. Come to
think of it, I should have run for Prime Minister of Italy.
[Rubenstein's stated career ambition in high school was to be Prime Minister of Kenya.]
9-12-02 I had my first meeting yesterday afternoon (9-11) with my new
psychiatrist, Dr. Betsy Cooper. Right away, I'm not having good feelings
about her. She insisted that Medicare covers routine physical exams,
lab work, etc. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. I have a
pamphlet from Medicare saying that Medicare doesn't cover routine
physicals. I have to question her competence generally. I may have to
file a complaint.
9-16-02 / 10 Tishri 57(whatever) Today is the Jewish Day of Atonality --
A day on which key signatures are strictly forbidden. Support your
local tone row!
[Refers to the Jewish holiday, Yom Kippur, the day of atonement.
Atonality is a type of music created by the composer Arnold Schoenberg.]
9-17-02 Here's somebody to look into: FREDRIC WEISS. Central High
School, 230th class (1971). We were in the same English class in 9th
grade (Ming the Merciless). He won't remember me. He sat in front of the
window near Michael Shapiro. What I remember is that he once had with
him a Hebrew text -- a volume of the Talmud (or something) -- and Ming
wanted to see it. By the way, does Shapiro still have his pitching arm,
or did it turn into a billing arm. That's what happened to Bob Strauss
very early on -- His pitching arm turned into a billing arm. Strauss's
arm is useless for anything else. President Carter once asked Strauss to
help build a "Habitat for Humanity House" -- Strauss said: "No, Mr.
President, I need my arm for billing. -- If I injure my arm, I'm
finished -- like Isaac Stern."
[The late violinist, Isaac Stern, has a daughter who is a rabbi. One
wonders, given the context, whether the conscious association to the arm
carries an implied association to the use of tephillin.]
9-18-02 TENNESSEE POLITICIANS SPEAK OUT ON THE USE OF THEIR CHILDREN TO FURTHER THEIR CAREERS:
KENT: I am not going to play the sympathy card and say, "Oh, my kids
need money, and all of this." I don't want people to think I'm sitting
here using my children to try to get further in the game. I wouldn't
want my children used for that, and I'm certainly not going to do that.
--
Then there's the case of Al Gore at the 1992 DNC Convention -- We won't go into that.
9-19-02 Have you ever seen Salvador Dali's portrait of Melanie Klein? I think it's called: "The Persistence of Mammary."
[Klein was a famous psychoanalyst who placed great importance on the
young child's internal psychological representation of the mother's
breast.]
9-20-02 Dennis ("Victor Frankenstein") Race: IT'S ALIVE, IT'S ALIVE! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, IT'S STILL A-L-I-V-E!
[Refers to my latest "Campaign dirty tricks." An earlier message
referred to my identification with the Frankenstein monster, who
suffered painful isolation. This message indicates that I view Dennis
Race ("my creator, Victor Frankenstein") as the cause of my problems.
The word "Victor," in this context, is a play on words. Dennis Race was
victorious in my case before the Court of Appeals.
9-23-02 BONUS ISSUE Akin Gump Management Committee Discloses for First
Time: [Attached is portion of cover of a news magazine with the
headline:] How We Helped Create Saddam.
[Refers to my personal identification with Saddam Hussein as someone who
seemed virtually immune to adversity and the aggression of the great
powers.]
9-23-02 Dennis ("George Bush") Race [referring to Saddam Hussein]: It's
the same old song and dance we've heard for the last eleven long years.
And on the War Front: German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder agrees to Bush
war plan ONLY in the event Saddam threatens world supply of Grecian
formula. Attorney General John Ashcroft responds to statements of German
Justice Minister-- ASHCROFT: Schroeder's tactics are the same ones used
by Liberace.
[German Chancellor Schroeder opposed President Bush's plans for war with
Iraq, and charged that the President's tactics were the same ones used
by Hitler. Schroeder has been accused of using hair dye (like the
entertainer Liberace).]
9-24-02 Dennis ("King Richard") Race: A blood-test, a blood test -- my law license for a blood test!
[A parody of "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse." My psychiatrist
wanted me to have a physical, and I refused. I wrote a letter of
complaint to Eric H. Holder, Esq., at Covington & Burling. In
September 2002 I had been assigned to a new psychiatrist, Betsy Jane
Cooper, MD, who I experienced as coercive. Note that I discharged my
anger with fantasies of aggression against Dennis Race, as usual.]
9-25-02 Message for my friends at Akin Gump-- I hope you don't take any
of this personally. It's not personal. I love each of you. This is a
game. I'm in this thing to win a half-million dollars. It's just a game
that we all signed on the dotted line to play. And I hope that when it's
all over, we can all get together for lunch and have a couple of laughs
-- assuming there's a public cafeteria at the Federal Facility at
Marion, Ohio.
[Parody of statement made by "Big Brother 2" contestant, Hardy Ames Hill to fellow contestants.]
9-26-02 Yesterday (9-25) I attempted to hand over to my psychologist a
body of documents that I'm certain would be scrutinized carefully by law
enforcement or the U.S. Attorney's Office in the event I was involved
in something of criminal interest. I am concerned that Dr. Shaffer
refused to accept the documents -- that could pose problems for Doc
Shaffer down the road in the event I "pull a Brutus." I have to tell
you: I still have fantasies relating to the assassination of a foreign
head of state. I've had these thoughts for a long time. Elliott R.
Feldman, Esq. -- an attorney in Philadelphia, can certify that I have
had these thoughts since way back. As you know I have been under
investigation by the Secret Service. Dennis Race diagnosed a "disorder"
in me (that still dominates my thinking) that might be associated with a
potential for violence. I have been interrogated with regard to an
allegation that [redacted].
9-27-02 By the way -- A Happy birthday greeting to Sheryl Dyner! I
thought of something this morning while I was masturbating. The
Corporation Counsel cited evidence that an incident in work on Friday
April 13, 1990 caused me to think of masturbation. There is NO EVIDENCE
in the record that those private thoughts occurred simultaneous with the
incident. I very well may have thought about masturbation after working
hours, off the firm's premises. -- I plan to put that in my letters to
employers. "The Corporation Counsel cites evidence that my private,
undisclosed thoughts about masturbation (without regard to whether those
thoughts arose during working hours on firm premises) were material to
Dennis Race's decision to terminate my employment." --That gives a
reasonable basis for me to state to a prospective employer -- "I may
have a duty to disclose that I sometimes think about masturbation at
home on weekends in connection with my thoughts about coworkers." Advice
to Dennis Race: Sue the District! Dennis: Just wait till I start
sending these letters to federal judges.
[Sheryl Dyner was a coworker at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.
She earned a B.S. in Biology at Penn State in May 1975; we were in the
same graduating class.]
9-30-02 Roseanne once said: "Those who can, -- do. Those who can't, --
teach. Those who can't teach, -- teach gym. And those who can't teach
gym, -- become experts." -- Akin Gump consulted not one, but two
"experts" before they fired me. What does that tell you?
10-01-02 This is a bombshell-- I finally got evidence,-- as Mayor LaGuardia once said-- "Yes, I have the proof!"
These are the facts in chronological order.
In September 1989 I visited the Sheppard-Pratt employee Assistance
Program -- on two occasions. On my second visit I provided the counselor
Xerox copies of printed material relating to anti-Semitism. I said I
was having problems in the workplace [at Akin Gump] relating to
anti-Semitism.
One of the things I supplied was a copy of page 476 of Fritz Stern's
book "Gold and Iron." That page discuses anti-Semitism in Germany in the
19th century. I have written, in marginalia on that page, "Uns bleibt
ein erdenrest" -- "traces of asbestos" -- It's a quote from Goethe's
"Faust" -- (Part II -- Final Scene), the quote is used in the Mahler 8th
Symphony.
In 1993 the movie "Schindler's List" was released -- directed by Steven Spielberg.
In July 1993, I went to Sheppard Pratt to get a copy of the contents of
my mental health file -- part of my investigation for my lawsuit against
Akin Gump. I noticed that there was no record WHATSOEVER of my second
visit to the Sheppard Pratt counselor in September 1989 -- The session I
submitted the written materials about anti-Semitism. Not only was there
no record of the visit, but the written materials themselves were not
in the file (including the Fritz Stern page). That was odd, and possibly
improper.
In 1999 I saw the movie "Schindler's List" on TV for the first time. I
noted that a prominent melody in the movie score was identical to a
seven note phrase from Mahler's Eighth Symphony. I thought it was
probably more than merely coincidental.
Now, in 2002, you know, I've become obsessed with "Iron Man" Rubenstein
and "Mr. Gold" ("Faust"). I've been listening over and over to Mahler's
8th Symphony. A few days ago, I had a Eureka moment. The seven note
theme from "Schindler's List" appears in the Mahler 8th Symphony at --
YOU GUESSED IT -- at the very words "Uns bleibt ein Erdenrest" -- the
chorus of the more-perfect angels. (The melody also introduces the words
"infirma nostri corporis" from Part I of the symphony).
Spielberg, you son of a bitch, you stole my idea -- as if my ideas were
nothing more than an old man's used cabana wear! "Schindler's List," my
ass. The movie should be called "Swindler's List." You're going to hear
from my lawyer!
10-02-02 Ten years ago today I saw [Akin Gump paralegal] Jennifer Meader
for the last time (on Connecticut Avenue). I remember it was a Friday
-- I had an appointment with Dr. Palombo, arranged by Napoleon Bonaparte
[Cuenco], that afternoon -- beautiful warm, sunny day. (10/01) A
hushed, reserved quality in the library. I have the idea that my letter
to Eric triggered the fire alarm. Somebody left the following magazine
in the magazine exchange in the library. "Secrets of Ancient Materials."
-- A reference to the Record on Appeal [in Freedman v. Akin, Gump,
Hauer & Feld]?
[Attached is cover of the magazine "Science News," January 19, 2002
issue. Features a photo of an ancient Egyptian statue with the caption
"Secrets of Ancient Materials."]
10-3-02 Spring 1972 -- I took an introductory course in English with an
instructor named Ellen Furman at Penn State's Abington campus. We read
Hemingway stories, "The Great Gatsby," The Grand Inquisitor (from "The
Brothers"), and some black writer (I forget who -- it was an account of
his feelings in prison.) -- and Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying." Ellen
introduced me to Faulkner. Little did Ellen know I would turn into the
greatest "writer" of the 21st century.
[Ellen Furman still teaches at the Abington Campus of Penn State.]
10-3-02 Message for Dracula-- Every molecule of hemoglobin contains four
atoms of iron. "Jewish hemoglobin" contains only 3 atoms of iron. --The
lengths those people will go to to cheat vampires of their just due!
10-4-02 JOE'S FRUIT STAND - CONTINUED
DR. COOPER: How are you doing on your medication? You look contented, you have a very contented air.
FREEDMAN: I AM contented. But then, I'm an enigma.
(Sorry for the mess -- But I'm in the middle of big ideas whose time has come.)
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
10-7-02 Here's somebody I can remember from way back, when I lived up
North, among the Yankees. DENA SHER. She worked at the Franklin
Institute in Philadelphia. We shared an office for a time. She was
middle-aged, and was fluent in French. She mentioned on one occasion
that her husband was reading a book on the impeachment of President
Andrew Johnson.
10-8-02 Message for Julie [Chen, host of the CBS-TV reality series "Big
Brother"]-- Listen, Jules, what America wants to know is whether Eric
and Lisa ever hooked up, and whether Eric ever gave Lisa the big one (as
they say south of the border, "El Grande"). That's what we want to know
-- not the crap you report on. What the hell do you do all day? Even
David Gregory gets his eyebrows plucked faster than you! And THAT guy
works for NBC!!
10-9-02 Last night on the CBS Evening News, Dan Rather reported the
death of Len Raff, a longtime CBS film guy. You know, Mitch Oppenheim
works for CBS News in New York. I wonder if that's the same Mitch
Oppenheim who graduated Penn State in May 1975 with a degree in film --
seems plausible. Mitch liked the "Frauleins." [The yearbook] says he's
from Jericho, NY. Attended Hofstra? Maybe Gary Rubin, Ph.D. was one of
his teachers.
[Gary Rubin was an Akin Gump attorney who used to teach English at Hofstra.]
10-10-02 I worked things out with my psychiatrist, Dr. Cooper. I'll be
getting my blood tests from the District health clinic. It's like that
brother once said: "Can we all just get along?" Anyway I had an uncanny
moment last night watching John Fenn being interviewed on TV about
winning the Nobel Prize in chemistry (for developing a process for
weighing heavy molecules, like proteins (hemoglobin?)). He talked about
his love of working with students -- He said he gets a lot out of it.
Then, startlingly, he used a metaphor -- He said "I guess I'm like a
vampire, feeding off the blood of my students." -- Amazing, huh?
[See message on 10-3-02.]
This completes all of the entries for the diary I kept during the period
June 2001 to August 2003. I write these words at sundown, December 19,
2004 -- as winter's darkest evenings fast approach.
-- EPILOGUE --
The way in which Beethoven matured inwardly under the hard trials and
blows of fate is evident, above all, from his last recorded utterances.
On the 14th March 1827, barely a fortnight before his death, he wrote to
Ignaz Moscheles in London: " . . . Indeed, a hard lot has fallen upon
me! But I resign myself to the will of destiny, and only ask God
constantly to grant through His divine will that, so long as I must
still suffer death in life here, I am protected from penury. This will
give me the strength to bear my lot, however hard and grievous, with
resignation to the will of the Almighty." It is recorded that, as he lay
dying, he said, "Plaudite, amici, comoedia finita." "Applaud, friends,
the comedy is finished." In the sketches for the Missa Solemnis, among the drafts for the mighty Fugue at the end of theCredo the
same thought is found: "Applaudite amici!" Here, at the words "et vitam
venturi saeculi," there comes to the fore the fundamental idea which
gave Beethoven strength in all the trials and tribulations of his life:
the sufferer sees a gleam of radiant light -- the hope of life
everlasting. This light, and awe before the last and eternal things,
brighten the depths of Beethoven's life and work.
10-11-02
I'm going to pick up my meds today. I'm starting on a new
anti-psychotic medication (Risperdal). I'll be taking my first dose
tonight. Just wait till Monday morning when you'll be seeing significant
changes in me. I may even stop writing to you altogether. I can see the
prospect for a whole new life opening up for me. Maybe I'll find a job
and get myself a girlfriend -- or to put it more vividly -- my aim is to
get paid and [get] laid.
10-14-02
/ 10-15-02 Did you hear President Bush say that war with Iraq is not a
certainty -- only the build-up to war is a certainty? I'm thinking
that's a lot like sex when you're on Zoloft: Only the build-up to the
shooting is a certainty -- even though the final shot may never be
fired. Personally, I'm a pro-war hawk! Let's get rubbers for the
standing army!!
10-16-02
Message for Brian -- You were really nice to me yesterday Brian -- and I
appreciate that -- I know that, for you, being a nice person can be
difficult -- But you went the extra step. One other thing. -- Why did
you let Lori use the remainder of somebody else's time on the computer
yesterday? You know that's what she did. She makes arrangements with
people to use their time. -- "Are you planning to use all your time?" --
"Could I use the rest of your time if you're planning to leave before
your time is up?" That's what she does.
[Lori
was a troublesome library patron who used to get into disputes, and an
occasional serious argument, with librarian William Dacosta about the
use of the libraries' public computers. It was my belief that Brian
Brown had substantial cause to ban Lori from access to the public
computers. Brian Brown did not take any action against Lori.]
10-17-02
Message for Aida Epstein -- Today is the anniversary of Frederic
Chopin's death -- like you care! On another front-- Tuesday (10-15-02),
in the magazine exchange, at the library, they left in the magazine
exchange the attached "Be Careful what you wish For" -- I see this as a
taunt -- "You might lose your Social Security if you get a criminal
investigation." [Attached is the front cover of "AAA World"
(September/October 2002 issue) featuring a photograph of the face of a
bear with the caption: "Be Careful What You Wish For: Most of the 10
million people who visit Great Smoky Mountains National Park each year
are hoping to see bears in the natural environment."]
10-18-02
Somebody's birthday falls around this time. But I can never remember. I
know it's somebody's birthday Oct 18 or Oct 19. Who could that be?
[Message refers to Robert S. Strauss.]
10-21-02
So what's the story with Jeffrey Lieberson ([apartment] 138); he has a
mezuzah on his door. He's into baseball in a big way. Maybe he's one of
Malcolm's relatives. Wouldn't surprise me. [Attached is an address label
from a magazine mailed to Lieberson.] Bob Strauss on the "Briefs vs.
Boxers" controversy. -- "My boys are independent. Always have been. They
don't need any support from Big Daddy." So here's what happened in the
library on Friday afternoon (10/18). Sally was on the computer. Brian
was fixing something in the Xerox machine. He was bending down, with his
hand in the machine. Sally said to him-- "Do you want me to try [to
help]? I have smaller hands." Then Brian said he fixed it. (He was
talking in what I considered an affected tone of voice -- friendly,
sexy). Then Sally started to clap (once again -- the hands). She glanced
at me (I was on the other computer), as if she wanted to gauge my
reaction to her clapping. I noticed on the "Return to Stacks" cart. They
were placed prominently. One -- a book on "palm-held" computers (palm =
hand + a tropical tree) (Rubenstein?). Two -- another on Winston S.
Churchill (The Prime Minister) (Rubenstein?)
[Sally
was a library volunteer, who used to water the plants in the library.
She was a retiree who had worked in the computer field. I believe she
had access to Brian Brown's office. Obviously, from the above entry, I
also believed Sally received confidential information about me from
library staff.
Perry
Rubenstein was in my graduating class at Central High School (230th
class, 1971). In the yearbook he stated as his career ambition, "Prime
Minister of Kenya." He went to Florida on spring break in 1970 (in the
11th grade); and was forced to stay an extra week because he couldn't
get transportation home. On about Thursday, the week following spring
break, my chemistry teacher said (suddenly) -- in the middle of a
lecture -- "Where is Rubenstein? I haven't seen him all week?" On one
occasion Rubenstein called me a "fag." I used to talk a lot about
Rubenstein with my then treating psychologist, Dr. Nancy Shaffer.
Rubenstein assumed importance for me while I was writing my
autobiography in adulthood. I noticed that references to the pianist
Arthur Rubinstein were consistently associated with the theme of
"lateness to arrive." I do not know what Rubenstein does. The Internet
has numerous entries for a "Perry Rubenstein Gallery" in New York City.
(There are many homosexuals in the art field. I had a feeling that
Rubenstein secretly liked me -- in a manly way, of course.)
Jeffrey
Lieberson, my neighbor, works as press secretary for Congressman Steven
Rothman (D-NJ). He graduated from New York University in about the year
2000.]
10-22-02 THE BARBECUE
JIANG ZEMIN: I no wear cowboy hat. Make me look ridicurous.
PRESIDENT BUSH: But you have to wear it. There's a factory in Shanghai manufacturing these as we speak.
JIANG ZEMIN: There's factory making THESE?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Yes! It makes you look like a cowboy.
JIANG ZEMIN: But I don't want to look like cowboy!
[Jiang
Zemin was the Chinese head of state. President Bush had presented Jiang
Zemin with a cowboy hat during a state visit. The message is a parody
of a Seinfeld episode, "The Puffy Shirt," which features the line: "You
ruined me, you ruined my career."]
On
another front-- Overheard at Akin Gump Management Committee meeting:
[Following is cut out from a "Vanity Fair" magazine article about
baseball player Pete Rose:] "How did it all go so fucking bad?" (Pete
Rose quote)
[Pete
Rose was a client of an Akin Gump partner, the criminal defense
attorney John Dowd, Esq. Several years ago I saw Dowd chatting with
Steptoe & Johnson attorney, Reid Weingarten, Esq. about a block from
Akin Gump's office. Weingarten is a close personal friend of former
U.S. Attorney and Deputy U.S. Attorney General Eric H. Holder, Jr., Esq.
(Covington & Burling). I have seen Weingarten several times in
downtown Washington. Each time he stared intently at me as if he
recognized me; on occasion he had a look of pity or concern. (The
thought is a paranoid idea of reference).
10-22-02
BONUS Message for Rubenstein: --I notice "Art & Antiques" (6-2002)
left you out of its feature on New York Art dealers. Maybe you're not an
art dealer after all. By the way, what do you think of that TV show --
"Antiques Roadshow" -- I think it's a scam. There aren't that many
antiques in the world! It's like all those baseballs "autographed" by
Pete Rose. Rubenstein, do you know Brad Shar? He's better looking than
you.
[Attached
is front cover of June 2002 issue of "Art & Antiques" captioned:
"Young Ambition: NYC's Next Generation of Dealers, Part II." Cover
features photo of eight New York art dealers, including Brad Shar. I do
not know who Brad Shar is.]
10-22-02
DOUBLE BONUS I've formed a tentative theory-- That Mahler's 8th
Symphony may be a giant set of variations on Mahler's song "Liebst Du Um
Schonheit." There is at least one prominent direct quote from the song
(at the words "Erleuchtet mein bedurftige Hertz"). Both the 8th Symphony
and the song are dedicated to Mahler's wife.
10-23-02
Message for "The Management Committee"-- A lawyer who gets another
lawyer disbarred is twice a lawyer. [Paraphrase of the homosexual French
writer Jean Genet's famous observation: "A man who fucks a man is twice
a man."] Anyway, here are some paranoid impressions I've been picking
up: They have clinical significance, and are offered for assessment
purposes. Monday at the library, I had the notion that the staff were
trying to elicit a paranoid response from me. But I don't feel very
confident about that impression. Also, Monday -- Charles Davis (a
brother) smiled at me broadly when he saw me -- It seemed like he
couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Then, yesterday, Tuesday (10-22)
Brian was back. (By the way, Brian -- thanks for all this blank paper)
(He wasn't there on Monday). He seemed "chastened" -- He wasn't in a
receptive mood. I don't know what that was in connection with (maybe he
hasn't gotten any lately). Picking up signals about rock bands -- I
wonder if David Bowie still works for the Bureau. (Also, what about
Jimmie Carter?) Seems like a lot of famous people work at the DC Field
Office.
10-24-02
I think I actually have my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, thinking I'm
really psychotic. I guess I've got HER fooled. She doesn't seem to
appreciate the fact that I REALLY am sensitive to what's going on --
that, for example, Malcolm broke into my apartment. I have her believing
that my beliefs are actually "psychotic" symptoms. She's so naive. By
the way, Ignacio, I had sexy feelings about you yesterday. Sorry, amigo,
I don't like guys with facial hair. Look elsewhere for tongue action.
[Ignacio [last name?] used to work at the circulation desk at the library.]
10-25-02
I just received my high school alumni journal (Fall 2002). Check out
Richard Rappaport, M.D. (202 graduating class). The notice says he's a
forensic psychiatrist and associate clinical professor at UCSD, who has
testified in high profile serial murder cases. Maybe he can provide
insight into my potential for serial disbarment of management partners
at large law firms. [Attached is blurb on Rappaport.] I still have
fantasies relating to the assassination of a foreign head of state. Did
Elliott Feldman give you any useful background info about that?
[Elliott
Feldman, now a lawyer in Philadelphia, sat next to me in ninth-grade
English class in high school; the class read Shakespeare's "Julius
Caesar" in January 1968. The ancient Roman emperor Julius Caesar is the
referenced assassinated "foreign head of state." The statement was made
to show how easy it is to play with the heads of law enforcement, by
clever use of language. The statement is an example of protected speech
that, to a naive eye, can appear to be a threat.]
10-28-02
An Epic Adventure, Eleven Years in the Making: Siskel and Ebert Give it
a "Thumbs-Up." Featuring Dennis Race, Larry (The "Hoff") Hoffman,
Malcolm Lassman -- Plus a Panel of Experts! And Vernon Jordan in the
Greatest Role of His Career IN
THE LACK OF FORESIGHT SAGA
--coming to a District Court near you. Here are some scenes from "Foresight"
DENNIS RACE: Well, I guess I didn't think ahead.
[The
line "Well, I guess I didn't think ahead" is from a Seinfeld episode.
The episode is about a corrupt dry-cleaner whose wife wears his
customers' clothes. The episode features the line, "What, do you think
the dry-cleaners is your own personal closet?"]
10-29-02
A There was a babe yakking away on her cell phone last night, for about
40 minutes, outside my window, from about 6:20 to 7:00 PM. I have to
warn you about her (tell David Castleberry). She was talking about a
leak in her closet that ruined a jacket of hers - and she wants to be
compensated for dry-cleaning costs. She claims she's been ignored by
maintenance. Something about the closet being sealed, her not having
apartment insurance. Involvement of somebody named "Ron." Her mother is a
lawyer. Watch out: She's a FUCKING pain in the ass. She seemed to be
talking in an exaggerated loud voice, so that the whole world could hear
her. Tell her she's a nuisance to other tenants.
10-29-02
B Here's what I'm picking up at the library -- through my sources. What
the Feds are focusing on is the fact "Felix" (I call him Felix because
of his legal brilliance) -- Felix didn't tell me he had learned that I
suffered from a psychiatric "disorder" -- which prevented me from filing
a claim with the firm's private insurer. Can you say FRAUD boys and
girls?
[The
name "Felix" (derived from Felix Frankfurter) refers to Dennis Race. It
was in the fall of 2002 that I forwarded a letter to Eric H. Holder,
Jr., Esq., at Covington & Burling requesting his pro bono
representation. I had formed the paranoid impression, subsequently, that
the letter to Holder triggered some inquiries of some kind.]
10-29-02 C Hey Rubenstein-- I'm putting you in my Hall of Frame! --Did I mention that Brad Shar is better looking than you?
10-29-02
D Could you tell David Castleberry -- a propos of the Halloween Party
(I won't be there). Mr. Reuss used to have breakfasts -- I really liked
them. I can still remember -- There was one on a Saturday in May 1996
and one on a Sunday in Nov 1999. How is Mr. Reuss?
[John
Reuss was the resident manager at 3801 Connecticut Avenue from about
1993 to 2000; he was transferred to the Roosevelt Apartment Complex in
Falls Church. The four messages posted on 10-29 (designated A, B, C, and
D) appear to be a form of acting out, as if to say, "Do you think this
medication is helping me?" I never had the impression that John Reuss
entered my apartment surreptitiously.]
10-30-02 THE BRIS [The Circumcision]
RUBENSTEIN:
I think he's in love with me. He never stops talking about me. I don't
know why he's so obsessed with me. We were never close friends. We were
never even friends, never even acquaintances.
MALCOLM: I thought you two played softball together.
RUBENSTEIN: We never played softball. Besides, he throws like a girl.
MALCOLM: He said you played softball together, that he was the pitcher and you were the catcher.
RUBENSTEIN:
He told you we had a special relationship? Doesn't he have any closer
friends? He's level-jumping on our chance association.
MALCOLM: Yes, he's level-jumping.
[The message is a parody of a Seinfeld episode, "The Bris."]
10-31-02
Quote of the Day: "The Hell with the Nobel Prize, -- I'm back, baby,
I'm back!" [Refers to Walter Mondale's announcement that he would run
for the U.S. Senate seat from Minnesota left vacant by the sudden,
accidental death of Paul Wellstone (D-Mn.).] I told Dr. Shaffer
yesterday about my fascination with Bruce Jay Stein -- and how he had a
lot going on downtown.
[Stein was in my graduating class in college. I used to see him naked in the athletics department locker room.]
11-02-02 THE FANTASY CAMP
FRITZ MONDALE: I don't even NEED to campaign.
BOB STRAUSS: I don't NEED to bill clients.
DOUG GANSLER: I don't NEED to establish jurisdiction!
BOB STRAUSS: We were MADE for each other!!
[Refers
to fact that Strauss is famous for not billing clients, unlike most
lawyers; Mondale's last-minute run for the Senate; and Montgomery County
State's Attorney Gansler's decision to prosecute the sniper shooter in
Montgomery County despite the competing (and apparently superior) claims
of prosecutors in other jurisdictions.]
11-04-02
I'm still taking my anti-psychotic meds. See the difference? Here's
what I'm thinking. It's about Felix. Felix said (11 years ago -- I'm
still caught up with the distant past) that my complaint of job
harassment was consistent with a psychiatric disorder that can be
associated with a risk of violent behavior. Here's a quote from
"Narcissism: Denial of the True Self" by Alexander Lowen, M.D.: "There
are successful psychopaths . . . brilliant, remorseless people with icy
intelligence, incapable of love or guilt, with aggressive designs on the
rest of the world." . . . "Instead of murdering others" . . . this
person "might become a corporate raider and murder companies, firing
people instead of killing them, chopping up their functions, rather than
their bodies.'" (page 23) When you combine "The Felix Model" of violent
potential with the above description of a type of psychopath you end up
with the following assertion -- Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's action
in ordering the break-up of Microsoft is an action CONSISTENT WITH his
being a psychopath, which can be associated with a risk of violence --
maybe as a public service I should warn Judge Jackson's colleagues.
11-05-02
This is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Here's someone who I
remember being in my seventh-grade class (as you know Lillian Camaioni
was the homeroom teacher and social studies teacher). The person's name
was Andrew Applebaum. I don't remember anything specific about him. I
think he had attended Elwood Elementary school. David Ellis [Central
High School, 230th class, 1971] would have known him. I am simply making
a report. To you, honored members of the board, I am simply making a
report.
11-05-02
[Full page ad from magazine for the cologne "Lauder Pleasures for Men,"
depicting a male model who has a striking resemblance to my old friend
Craig W. Dye; a female model is kissing his forehead; the caption reads
-- "Capture the moment." I have written in a caption that I attribute to
the female: "Sweetheart, Gramps wants you to smile for the camera."
Capture the moment "and sell it to the Gov't."
[Refers
to the Zapruder film of the Kennedy assassination. Dye was romantically
involved with the granddaughter of Abraham Zapruder who filmed the
assassination, and whose heirs sold the film to the federal government
for $15 million.]
11-06-02
I write this not knowing whether Fritz won or lost -- I'm in a somber
mood! I don't know whether I mentioned this before -- maybe I did. Susan
Marks (Phila High School for Girls, 1970 -- 211th class) -- a classmate
of mine in elementary school had a female cousin of the same age. I
forget the cousin's name, but she was in my 7th grade class in junior
high school with -- among others Andy Applebaum and David Ellis (who I
mentioned yesterday). What I remember from elementary school is that
Susan Marks' cousin's mother had died of cancer. (The cousin didn't go
to the same elementary school as Miss Marks and I).
[Susan
Marks had a genius-level IQ, having achieved a perfect score on an IQ
test administered in sixth grade. I told a former treating psychiatrist,
Dr. Stanley R. Palombo, about Marks in the year 1990. I believe Akin
Gump managers promptly contacted Marks.]
11-06-02
Additional Thoughts. I have some additional thoughts about yesterday's
election. What if Fritz Mondale lost? I'm devastated! His political
career will be in shambles. He may never win political office again. --
And that campaign! The hours of backbreaking speeches. Handshaking --
baby-holding. -- A long, hard, campaign. To put that much energy into
something and to see it go up in flames! My heart goes out to Fritz.
He'll have to go back to his million-dollar law practice.
[Message
is a humorous reference to the fact that Mondale spent, at most, all of
two days campaigning for the Senate seat left vacant by the sudden
death of incumbent Wellstone.]
11-07-02
Here's something for the chapter: "The Brilliance of Felix" Legal
Argument: "We determined that his behavior was like that of a person
with ideas of reference, and as a general proposition, ideas of
reference can be associated with a risk of violence" -- Q.E.D. Freedman
may be violent. Equivalent: Bob Strauss's old age is like a brilliant
sunset. As a general principle, if you stare at the sun, you can go
blind (proof -- Galileo). Q.E.D. -- If you stare at Bob Strauss long
enough, you could go blind. Felix turned me into a metaphor ! ! !
11-07-02
I'm posting yesterday's notes. Unfortunately, Mr. Doug was doing his
filter gig yesterday, so I thought it was prudent to not post the notes.
I don't think Mr. Doug would understand. Would you believe I still
don't know who won the Minnesota Senate race? In any event, I'm
devastated by the election results. Republicans are taking over the
whole country ! ! ! At least my old friend [former Philadelphia mayor
and district attorney] Ed Rendell won [the gubernatorial seat] in
Pennsylvania.
[I
believe that Rendell knows who I am through Bob Strauss. Rendell was
chairman of the Democratic National Committee in the year 2000; Strauss
was a convention delegate that year. Several years ago (about 1997) I
sent an attention-grabbing application letter to Rendell's wife,
Marjorie Rendell, for a position as law clerk. Marjorie Rendell is a
U.S. District Court Judge in Philadelphia (E.D. Pa.).]
11-08-02
I found out yesterday that Walter Mondale didn't win the senate race in
Minnesota. To all you Minnesotans who didn't vote for Fritz, I have
just one thing to say: GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! By the way, 42 years
ago today, a majority of Americans (barely) voted the right way. [Refers
to the Nixon-Kennedy Presidential election of 1960.]
11-08-02 For the chapter: "Don't Try This At Home Boys and Girls -- Leave It To The Professionals"
FRITZ MONDALE: Maybe I should have had more time to campaign.
DOUG GANSLER: Maybe I should have had better facts and better law.
BOB STRAUSS: I still don't bill clients. I have no plans to.
11-11-2
/ 11-12-02 Here's an interesting thing. Frank Gannon, Deputy to
President Nixon's Press Secretary, Ron Ziegler, has a Ph.D. and is
something of an expert on James Joyce. Reportedly, he said that
listening to the Nixon tapes was like following James Joyce's novel,
"Ulysses." Hey, Fleischer, who's your James Joyce expert?
[Ari Fleischer was press secretary to President George W. Bush.]
11-13-02
I heard President Bush say yesterday that the actions of the Iraqi
Parliament are meaningless because it's just a rubber stamp
organization-- An instance of presidential projection? Did you check out
last week's election returns here in the States? I think the
Republicans control both houses of Congress -- or was I dreaming?
11-14-02
Doctor Shaffer is really starting to "P Street " me off. I'm thinking
of writing a new type of letter to a random attorney at the Justice
Department.
Dear Sir:
Please
help me. My situation is desperate. The Government of the District of
Columbia together with various professional persons licensed by the DC
Government have taken actions that would evince, to a reasonable person,
that something terrible, egregious, outrageous, and execrable has been
going on--
1.
In August 1998, an employee of the District Government told the U.S.
Capitol Police that I had [redacted]. Following an investigation the
Capitol Police determined that the accusation was a simple mistake.
2.
In February 1996, a psychiatrist licensed by the DC Gov't determined
that I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. It now appears that was a
simple mistake.
3.
In February 1999, a psychiatrist employed by the DC Gov't determined
that I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia-- a simple mistake.
4.
In September 1992 a psychiatrist licensed by the DC Gov't determined
that I suffered from bi-polar disorder -- a simple mistake.
5.
In October 1991, a psychiatrist licensed by the D.C. Government
determined that someone with my behaviors could be [redacted]--a simple
mistake.
6.
In December 1997 (on Beethoven's birthday) an attorney employed by the
DC Corporation Counsel advised the DC Court of Appeals that I admitted
that my coworkers were afraid that I might "[redacted]" -- (that would
include as a possible [redacted], Vernon Jordan -- a close friend of the
President of the USA). A simple mistake.
7.
During the summer of 2002, a Metro cop stopped and interrogated me at
the Georgia Avenue Metro Station based on his probable cause
determination that I [redacted]. A simple mistake.
8.
In January 1998, my psychiatrist-- an individual licensed by the DC
Gov't determined that I do not suffer from a mental illness for which
medication was indicated - a simple mistake.
9.
In September 1998, the D.C. Court of Appeals made a decision affirming a
prior finding of the DC Dept of Human Right that I might reasonably be
said to be [redacted]. The Court's decision was premised in part on the
assumption that the month of October is a month that falls in the early
part of the year -- a simple mistake.
For
your additional information I submit a copy of my autobiography. Dennis
Race, Esq. (887-4028) has consented to serve as a contact person
regarding this matter.
OH, YES -- AND NO. 10
10.
The DC Gov't has maintained that my belief that senior attorneys at the
law firm of AGSH&F (possibly including Vernon Jordan) burglarized
my apartment, in January 1990, was material to Dennis Race's decision to
terminate my employment. -- A simple mistake. You can ask Mr. Race
about this at 887-4028 -- That's 887-4028.
11-15-02
Of course, the big topic of conversation at the library yesterday
(11-14) was my session with my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer. They were
"talking" about how Dr. Shaffer was told not to invest energy into
trying to re-assure me that I'm not under surveillance. She does that,
you know -- as if it has any effect on me! Maybe she's got the message.
11-18-02
Like I said, we're coming up on Jeffrey Orchinik's 50th birthday. He's
still in good shape. He did permanent damage to his nails -- He was a
chronic nail-biter. He has to use "Lee Press-On Nails" as a prosthetic.
Did you know "Lee Press-On Nails" are covered by Medicare, if they're
medically-indicated?
[Attached
is magazine cover ("Men's Fitness") of a male model, with a caption
I've written in: "Prosthetic nails turned my life around." Orchinik
(229th class, Central High School, 1970) was a year older than me and
practiced at the Philadelphia firm of Sagot & Jennings, where I
clerked during law school (1980-1982). Orchinik specialized in ERISA,
and now practices personal injury law at a suburban Philadelphia firm.
Orchinik graduated summa cum laude in psychology from SUNY-Buffalo,
1974. My friend Craig W. Dye graduated from SUNY-Buffalo in about 1980.
Tom Jennings, Esq. described Orchinik as "brilliant."]
11-19-02
Yesterday, Velvel was drinking a soft drink at his desk in the library
-- a violation of library rules. Brian is gone for a week, and the
library starts to fall apart -- as I've pointed out before. Also, I
think I said this last year, but today is the anniversary of Lincoln's
Gettysburg Address. Saturday, Nov 16 -- That's when Kent (Big Brother 2)
said he was going on a cruise with some of the other contestants and
"the Fans" -- I guess there's nothing like reliving a confining
experience than by having another confining experience. At least on a
cruise you can jump ship. I guess Hardy won't be going on the cruise.
It's a shame Hardy and Lindsey broke up. Looking back, I guess she was
really a gold digger. Maybe she should have dated Eddie McGee, the
one-legged kid from "Big Brother 1" -- She could have shared in the half
million and gotten some kinky amputee sex!
11-19-02 BONUS / FEDERAL FACILITY MARION, OHIO -- MACHINE SHOPPE
DENNIS RACE: This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "tool time."
11-20-02
Yesterday (11-19) at the library, some more inappropriate behavior
occurred. An elderly patron was talking to Velvel in a loud tone of
voice about fellatio (the technical term for Lewinskying) and
masturbation. The conversation started off innocently enough about
Eugene, Oregon (which, I learned, is in the "southern" part of the
state). Velvel just encouraged the whole thing by saying he used to
reside in Eugene. I know people say I exaggerate, but it was loud and
raunchy. Objective confirmation came from another patron, Matthew Wolfe.
He was seated at a table adjacent to mine, and called over to me. "Hey,
hey" -- I turned to Wolfe. He said "are you following this?" I said,
"Yes" -- He said "Do you believe this?" The librarians, as I see it, are
enablers of this type of behavior by being chatty. That needs to stop
-- policy recommendation. -- "Librarians may only engage in
conversations related to library business." I may file a complaint with
the library trustees. Sorry, Velvel, but you need to rein things in ! ! !
[I
do not know the patron Matthew Wolfe; he used to use the "sign-in"
ledger to use one of the public computers. Note that William Dacosta
("Velvel") had no problem with a patron talking in a loud and disruptive
voice about sexually-explicit material, but called the DC Police on me
for writing an undelivered message that referred obliquely (and in
lawful language) to my emotional reaction to my psychiatric treatment
and my past employment problems. I believe that the stated reason for
summoning the police on April 21, 2004 to evict me from the library was
not the real reason. In any event, lesson learned: From now on I'll just
talk about masturbation and fellatio at the library -- I don't NEED to
talk about "dark places."]
11-20-02
BONUS I've upped my anti-psychotic meds (Risperdal) to 2 mg/day, per my
prescription. You see the change? Yesterday at the library, I noticed
two things that were related in content--
1.
On the shelf of "Books on Tape," one "book" was set off, askew. The
title was something like "Cheaters" by an author named "Eric"
something.-- FINE, OK. BUT THEN--
2.
In the magazine exchange a magazine was prominently displayed
(attached). The cover story was "Cheating, Writing, and Arithmetic."
(Meaning(?) -- David Ellis, 7th grade. "Cheaters never prosper?" -- I
really don't know the meaning.
11-21-02
Dr. Shaffer is still "P Streeting" me off. I can tell someone talked to
her about how to deal with my "ideas" about the surveillance. Her whole
approach to my "paranoia" was different -- more, shall we say,
superficially (at least) appropriate. What's odd is that Dr. Shaffer is
even more transparent than the supervised residents I used to see at GW.
I can actually tell with Dr. Shaffer when she's been "corrected" --
which was not apparent with the residents. As I see it, Dr. S--- is not
part of the solution, she's (to use a hip word) "emblematic" of the
fucking problem!
11-21-02
I'm thinking of contacting Stephen D. Harlan, Board Chairman of the
"Council for Court Excellence" to tell him that Dennis Race engaged in
actions that resulted in my being barred from jury duty on two
occasions. A.K.A. -- Jury Tampering. Or [Deputy Corporation Counsel]
Chuck Reischel, or [my former treating psychiatrist] Dr. Taub, or GW --
etc. (Actually I think I'm going to write to him about the 10 (bizarre)
"mistakes" that have ruined my chances for jury duty.)
[I
did, in fact, write to Stephen Harlan at about that time. I recall
delivering the letter in person to the organization's receptionist.
Jerrold
("Jerry") Zwirn, a former full-time librarian at the Cleveland Park
Branch of the DC Library (and an employee of Brian Brown), served as a
member of "The Court Community Observers," February - April 2001. Jerry
Zwirn was part of the Council for Court Excellence project described in
"Report and Recommendations of the Court Community Observers Project in
the District of Columbia Superior Court and its Civil Division" (report
issued July 2001). I believe that Jerry Zwirn knows the complete story
of the surveillance of me by Brian Brown and Akin Gump managers.]
11-22-02
Yesterday Brian (at the library) was in a rare form. He was acting out
in a way I haven't seen him act out in a long time. It used to be, back
in the '90s, he'd act out like this just about every day. I see a
"scientific" opportunity -- whatever it was he was reacting to yesterday
highlights (in all probability) what irks people generally about me.
What happened was that Brian was talking on the telephone in an affected
tone of voice, and was using a whole procession of double entendres. He
seemed to have a need to discharge, in some socially-appropriate form, a
lot of angry feelings. Maybe that's a good thing. In past times,
"Brian's" type would be herding me off to a concentration camp. So,
maybe his behavior reflects a social advancement. (I myself am very
excited about the insight this material may hold about my social
difficulties -- I suspect the underlying issue is jealousy). The things I
remember about the telephone call are as follows:
--Brian was affectedly pretending to speak Italian. He was affectedly friendly
--He was talking about somebody's mother-in-law -- that she was "crazy" -- and that she was going "senile"
--He used the phrase "some of my best friends are" [inaudible].
--He used the phrase "Be that as it may" (That's Dr. Eissler's phrase)
--He talked about the fact that someone was actually Italian
--He
mentioned that the person's relatives in "the old country" [note the
reference in another context above to the word "senile"] were reportedly
Protestants. He then added: "But I don't believe that." -- "I don't
believe they were Protestant."
I
think whatever it was that Brian was reacting to will give a clue as to
my difficulties with people generally. Again, I suspect it's jealousy.
One thing to keep in mind -- I had a session with Dr. Shaffer the day
before and I didn't mention Brian -- Despite the fact that he had been
on vacation for a week, and therefore I had been denied the sight of his
hot Irish-Catholic ass for about 8 days!
[I
had formed the opinion that Brian, by this time, knew I liked him. I
suspected (in paranoid fashion) that he was put off by the fact that I
didn't talk about him with my psychologist the previous day. I had the
paranoid impression that Brian had wanted me to express the idea to my
psychologist that I missed him because he was on vacation.]
11-25-02
I think my psychiatrist, Dr. Cooper, is an admirer of the Virgin Mary. I
am too: I hear her kreplach were fantastic! Dr. Cooper has a statue of
the Virgin Mary in her office. I think it violates the First Amendment.
11-25-02
I just thought of something that is sure to generate a ton of telephone
calls to Dennis Race. Did I mention that my sources tell me he has
temper tantrums when he gets these calls?
[Note to reader: Don't waste time trying to figure out the meaning of the following; it's nonsensical.]
Dear Mr. -----, Esq.
The
DC Corporation Counsel determined that my belief that Vernon Jordan or
other management attorneys at AGSH&F entered my apartment unlawfully
(with the possible intent to commit a felony) was material to the
employer's decision to terminate my employment. The only way that the
firm could have learned of my belief is via my psychiatrists, since the
record discloses that I never told the employer about the possible
burglary. The District determined that I formed a good faith belief that
my employer had unlawful contacts with my psychiatrists -- (etc.)
[Obviously, I'm playing games with the District's use of "after-acquired evidence" in the Brief of Appellee, DC Government.]
11-25-02
Here's some Kernberg material: Last Wednesday (11-20-02) I told my
psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, that I thought there was a parallel between
(1) the incident on "Big Brother 2" where one of the contestants Shannon
scrubbed the toilet with Hardy's toothbrush and (2) what I believe was
my supervisor's presumed action in putting a baby-food jar in my trash
can. I went "back to the videotape" -- and I discovered a comment by the
aggressor's friend and ally in the game (Will Kirby, MD) that refers to
Hardy as a "cry baby:" "You know, I think cleaning the toilet with
someone's toothbrush is a little extreme for me. However, I think it is a
very intelligent move because Hardy is such a CRY-BABY, pretty-boy, you
know, eyebrow-waxing freak that this is the type of thing that really
sets him off." (Note that Will was also a "pretty boy" who used to shave
his entire body & pluck his eyebrows.)
[Otto Kernberg, MD, is an expert in group dynamics.]
11-26-02
I had another idea for some fun. I could send out letters to foreign
embassies, explaining that I'm being persecuted by the government
(providing the "10 mistakes" as proof) -- and requesting political
asylum in their country. -- With, of course, a reference to Felix's
telephone number. Both Felix AND the Secret Service will love that one!
Gotta run, I'm set to tee off at 10:00 AM.
11-27-02
(Will Kirby '01; Freedman '02; George Bush; Felix '91): Now I have a
goal in the White House, and my goal is to eliminate (Hardy '01; Felix
'02; Saddam; Freedman '91) in a painful way, not in a pleasant way, in
an embarrassing way. [The message is a paraphrase of a comment made by
Will Kirby, MD on the CBS reality-show "Big Brother 2" during the summer
of 2001]. I have a session with Doc Shaffer this afternoon. Six years
at the clinic -- and what worthwhile six years they've been. Do you see
the changes? I've become increasingly bitter and vindictive. I spent 4
years at GW with those incompetent nut jobs telling me I needed
medication to change my paranoid thinking. Now that I'm taking
medication they tell me it won't necessarily change my thinking --
rather it will allow me to function despite my paranoia!
11-27-02 RUBENSTEIN: Why me?
11-27-02
BONUS I found out that the statue in my psychiatrist's (Dr. Cooper's)
office is not the Virgin Mary. It's actually "Our Blessed Lady of
Pharmacology" -- I hear she works miracles -- if you believe in her
healing powers. Unfortunately, I don't.
11-28-02 / 11-29-02 / 12-02-02 Written at 3 mg/day Risperdal. LETTER TO ATTORNEYS.
Dear Mr. Attorney:
My
pain and suffering has been horrendous. I feel I could convulse the
heavens with my horror. In August 1998 the U.S. Capitol Police forced
their way into my home -- giving me the impression that I had no
alternative to permitting their entry -- and interrogated me about a
report that I had [redacted]. I met with the Capitol Police the
following day, 8-7-98, at headquarters. I was advised that the report
was a mistake. I was relieved, but stunned. I had no idea that in dear,
free America, the land of freedom, that a citizen could be subjected to
such humiliation -- the degradation of being subjected to false
accusations by armed agents. I was informed, on August 7, that my name
was listed on a [redacted] because of a letter I had written two years
earlier, to one Beth Smith. I was dumbfounded, nay, horrified that a
letter I had written two years earlier, in June 1996 -- A letter that
prompted no law enforcement inquiry at the time -- was now, in August
1998, the subject of concern -- and all because of a report -- a false
report that I had [redacted]. The letter in question was an inquiry to a
psychiatric hospital about psychiatric treatment. Four and a half years
earlier, in October 1991, my then employer -- a law firm managed by a
close friend of former President Clinton -- determined in consultation
with a psychiatrist that I fit the profile of a [redacted]. My direct
supervisor determined, following a consultation with one of the firm's
senior attorneys (Dennis M. Race, Esq. -- a graduate of Fenn College)
that I was [redacted]. I reported these concerns in a factual manner to
Beth Smith in my written inquiry of June 1996. The letter, though
factual and non-threatening (the failure of law enforcement to contact
me about the letter at the time I sent it speaks for itself) was written
in a desperate tone appropriate to my situation -- I had been diagnosed
with paranoid schizophrenia (falsely, it now turns out) and had been
accused by the law partners of the President's close friend of fitting
the profile of a [redacted] -- possibly a [redacted]. I am innocent --
totally innocent. I have never committed a [redacted]. I have never
[redacted]. As God is my witness I am innocent. Please help me. My pain
and suffering has been interminable since that all-nameless hour in
August 1998 when I was accused of having [redacted] and was told I was
[redacted]. What's more -- even after the police had assured themselves
that I was innocent they advised me that they would proceed to
[redacted] -- a clear case of guilt by suspicion. I must take
tranquilizers daily -- to live, to sleep, perchance to dream. I deserve
compensation! You may contact Dennis Race at 202 887-4208 [sic]. Mr.
Race is the sole repository of evidence relating to my potential for
violence. He must speak with you.[THIS DOCUMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED PER
THE NATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
AND A SUPERVISORY OFFICER OF THE METRO DC POLICE, SECOND DISTRICT.]
[The
above letter, though histrionic in tone, is factual. The letter is
pertinent to the difficulties that a victim of defamation faces.
Regardless of my status on medication, my act of simply reciting the
facts of my case, is enough to make me sound mentally disturbed and
potentially violent. This point raises a question: Has the Social
Security Administration paid me more than $100,000 because of a
disabling mental illness that features disturbed ideations, or is my
failure to find work simply an anger reaction to substantial and
compensatable defamation? I plan to redact this entire message when I
send this document to third parties, and insert the note "[Redacted for
reasons of national security by order of the Federal Bureau of
Investigation and the Metro DC Police]" That note alone should be an
attention-grabber.]
12-02-02 Give my regards to the Big Man on Campus. You can tell him that Eric done good!
[Attached
is cover of "Columbia College Today" (September 2002 issue) that
features a photograph of the president of Columbia University, with the
caption "The Life of the Mind: An Interview With President Lee C.
Bolinger, By Alex Sachare '71.]
12-03-02
I'm now at 4 mg/day of anti-psychotic medication. See the remarkable
changes in me? I'm still full of much rage about what those people did
to me. I feel like Saddam Hussein -- eleven years of pure hell. Eleven
years of surveillance, inspections, false accusations, surprise raids --
and now [the British Foreign Secretary] dusting off accusations they
haven't used since 1914, -- like I've just marched into Belgium, or
something. Potentially violent, my ass. I'm still stuck on THAT one. And
then the Feds -- "Well, if you don't have anything to hide, why won't
you let us have a look around?" -- Like I have scud missiles under my
pillow, and a storehouse of enriched plutonium in my closet -- give me a
break. The British: Can't live with them; can't get screwed without
them!
[Note,
incidentally, that the accusation that Saddam Hussein had weapons of
mass destruction was never proven. "How can all these people say these
things about you, and none of it is true? Some of it must be true." In
the case of Saddam Hussein, none of it was true.]
12-04-02
If you talk to Michael Bacon, tell him I was particularly enchanted by
the passage (or, more appropriately, the variation) that sounded like
Robert Schumann -- I thought -- "Wow! That sounds just like Schumann!!
Aida Epstein should hear this." I thought -- This is like the Diabelli
Variations where Beethoven quotes Mozart's "Don Giovanni." (If you don't
get it, you don't get it.) I think the whole thing was a parody of the
Diabelli Variations -- Variations, here, on the Kaiser Waltz.
[Refers
to the music score of a PBS-TV special on the life of Sigmund Freud,
produced by David Grubin. The show was broadcast the day before
Thanksgiving, in the year 2002. The score was written by Michael Bacon.]
12-04-02
I left my rent with Mr. Castleberry yesterday -- without an envelope. I
understand he prefers that. But it felt strange, nonetheless. Of
course, I walk around my apartment naked -- So I don't know why I'm
worried about a "naked" check. My paranoia is still in full swing.
Yesterday, the tenant "Richard" -- The graduate of Brown Univ, who works
at the USIA [U.S. Information Agency] (?) -- sighed when he saw me.
That meant something to me -- like "Oh, man -- it's you!" Then at the
library yesterday Barbara the librarian seemed unusually circumspect --
and perturbed. But at one point, while she was talking to a patron about
the Xerox machine she said (about the machine) "It lies." -- She seemed
to me to be talking about me. I have to say-- "What -- me lie?"
["The
tenant 'Richard'" is Richard Peyton Howard, who has lived in the
building since at least the year 1990 (Apartment 522). I have believed
strongly since 1990 that Howard knows my identity and my personal
history, and is part of the information network that continues to
receive updates about my situation. Howard is a graduate of Brown
University.]
12-05-02
SNOW! Called the library this morning. Spoke to Ignacio -- what a nice
young man! Library obviously open. Brian -- How did your doctor visit go
yesterday. I hope it went better than mine! How did she react when you
got naked for her -- did your juices flow? You know, with every
ejaculation, you lose some creative powers. It's like Balzac once said
after having sex -- "Another masterpiece lost to French literature!"
(Something I didn't learn from Linda Miller[, one of my high school
French teachers]).
[Ignacio (last name?) used to work at the circulation desk at the library. He was liked and respected by the library staff.]
12-06-02
PASTICHE. Sunday is my grandmother's birthday -- she'll be 110. It
seems Brian doesn't like it when I talk about his body fluids -- Sorry,
Brian -- Can you ever forgive me? Dr. Sack doesn't look like a happy
camper. I guess he's realizing he threw away a lot of cash on a Harvard
education, when he could have done just as well with a degree from
Temple Univ, like Fred Cohen, MD or Mike Shapiro, MD. Temple University
-- It's the Harvard of North Philadelphia.
[Lawrence
C. Sack, MD, earned both an undergraduate degree and medical degree
from Harvard University. He was a psychiatrist whose professional office
was in my building. I had three consults with Dr. Sack in May 1991; I
quit when I formed the impression Dr. Sack was in communication with
Akin Gump management. Dr. Sack was an individual who I genuinely thought
could help me. He passed away in early August 2003; his death was a
great blow to me. "On the afternoon of August sixth, or maybe it was the
fifth. I can't be sure."]
12-09-02
What do you think of my new stereo? Nice, huh? Thank you President
Roosevelt! Well, I think I've done my part this Christmas season to help
the economy! By the way, speaking of FDR -- God bless you, People of
Louisiana! (Bob Strauss & his friends will know what I mean.
Apparently the people of Louisiana are a lot smarter than the people of
Minnesota. Maybe it's the climate).
12-10-02 Here's anther letter I might send to the DC Department of Employment Services.
DC Dept of Employment Services
Washington, DC
Dear Sir:
In
November 1991 I qualified for unemployment benefits in the District of
Columbia. In May 1992, I qualified for extended benefits, pursuant to
which I was required to engage in a systematic and sustained effort to
obtain work by making contact with at least 5 new employers each week of
eligibility. See D.C. Code section 51-107. This will advise that at the
time I contacted various employers in 1992, pursuant to my statutory
duty, I did not know that --
1) My former employer, the law firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld had determined that I was [redacted]
Dennis
M. Race Esq. (202 887-4028) had determined that I suffered from a
psychiatric disorder that rendered me not suitable for employment
3) My direct supervisor had determined that I was [redacted]
4) My co-workers had a genuine and credible fear that I might [redacted]
5)
The District Government would determine, on August 6, 1998, that facts
relating to my job termination, in October 1991, would contribute to a
reasonable conclusion that I might [redacted]
6)
The District of Columbia Department of Human Rights possessed sworn
statements pertaining to my [redacted] and mental impairment.
In
summary, I had no knowledge in 1992 that my former employer had
information relating to the possibility that tort liability might attach
to an employer's decision to employ me.
Sincerely yours,
Gary Freedman
I'M NOW AT 4 MG/DAY ANTI-PSYCHOTIC MEDS -- (RISPERDAL)
[Dennis
Race filed his sworn Interrogatory Response on May 22, 1992 with the DC
Department of Human Rights stating that he had determined (in October
1991) in consultation with a psychiatrist that I was potentially
violent. I wrote Dennis Race a letter in about early June 1992 advising
that I qualified for extended unemployment benefits, and soon thereafter
began my job search. I did not receive a copy of Dennis Race's
Interrogatory Response (dated May 22, 1992) from the DC Department of
Human Rights until late December 1992. Dennis Race, therefore, showed a
wanton disregard for the possible tort liability I might pose to a
prospective employer owing to my "potential for violence."]
12-11-02
Last night I was watching Paul Anthony doing his pitch for
contributions to WETA [public television]. Once again, hats off, you do a
superprofessional job. By the way, I love it when you use the word
"preclude" -- so erudite! By the way, Mr. Anthony, did Malcolm send you
the latest version of my book? I think Malcolm contacted you for the
first time back in about '93 or '94 after you broadcast that Claudio
Abbado concert of Wagner's music (you know, the broadcast where Katie
Couric says of Wagner's music -- "Tender, heroic, tragic.") How did you
earn your millions, Mr. Anthony, or did you inherit your money? I used
to feel sorry for you. I thought -- poor guy -- does voice overs for
public television. Probably lives in Section 8 housing in PG County.
Then I saw that house -- that palace -- you lived in. Wow! Section 8, my
ass.
12-12-02
Last night the crazies were out in full force. I must have gotten about
6 crazy telephone calls in about a 3-hour period. I'm starting a new
anti-psychotic med today. The one I was taking (Risperdal) didn't do
anything for me (could you tell?). The new one (Abilify) just came out
on the market. My doctor said that it worked miracles for the one other
patient who was taking it in her practice. I told my psychiatrist that
at the library yesterday, I was picking up signals about someone named
"Helen" -- who do I even know who's named Helen? I notice it's Julianne
Donofrio's birthday this month -- is she related to Vincent D'Onofrio?
(Law and Order - Criminal Intent). I hear they're coming out with a new
"Law and Order" -- called "The Special Moron's Unit" -- It's about
incompetent attorneys who screw their partners through their
incompetence. Yesterday at the library, someone left the attached in the
magazine bin. -- A reference to my Westlaw Card at Akin Gump?
[Attached
is the back cover of an issue of the ABA Journal: an ad for Westlaw
that features a photo of a man's hands holding a card with the word
"Westlaw" written on it. "Helen" is the name of Robert Strauss's wife,
the former Helen Jacobs. I do not know the tenant Julianne Donofrio;
building management used to post the birth dates of tenants on a
bulletin board in the mail room.]
12-13-02
The country would have been better off if Harry Truman had decided to
run and had been elected President in 1952. We wouldn't have all the
problems we have today that started in the Eisenhower Administration.
Things like split-level houses and pink flamingoes. By the way, wasn't
it a Republican who sent federal troops to Little Rock to enforce
desegregation? What's up with that? Does Trent Lott have a brain?
[Refers
to Senator Lott's public statement that the country would have been
better off if Strom Thurmond had been elected President of the United
States in 1948, instead of Harry Truman.]
12-16-02 CLINTON - LOTT SHOWDOWN (edited for content)
PRESIDENT CLINTON: What goes around comes around and PB, baby. Payback.
TRENT
LOTT: I'm not no mean person, man. I'm happy bein' a multi-millionaire
Senator bustin' my ass for everything I have. I was happy before. You
don't understand going back to my town. It's what you don't understand. I
don't want to go back anymore. I don't want to be looked upon or
frowned upon, and that's what's gonna happen. I find myself losing who I
am here in the Senate. I came all this way, for what? To lose something
inside me?
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Lose what inside you? Your bigotry? Your mean-spiritedness?
TRENT
LOTT: I don't want to be mean. I was just happy bein' me. You keep
running scenarios through your mind -- What's right, what's wrong,
what's ethical. Just everything. It just drives you crazy.
PRESIDENT
CLINTON: You turned on me. I have no respect for you. It really hurt me
that we couldn't be friends. But I hope you understand and (smiling
cynically) -- See ya!
(It's all Krista, all the time)
[Parody
of statements from the CBS-TV reality series "Big Brother 2," from the
summer of 2001. Most of the "Trent Lott" lines are drawn from the
comments of Krista, a contestant from -- oddly enough -- Louisiana (it
must be something in the water). Trent Lott led the impeachment campaign
against former President Clinton.]
12-17-02
Barbara, the librarian, said the weirdest thing yesterday. She was
spelling out someone's name to a patron on the telephone. You know, like
"Wells" -- "W" as in water, "E" as in election, etc. Well when she got
to the "S" in the name, she said "S" as in "Schama" -- Now -- Really!
Simon Schama is a Professor at Columbia Univ and I quote him in my
autobiography. Who says "S" as in "Schama"? That woman is so
pretentious!
[Simon
Schama wrote a book about the painter Rembrandt, which I quote
prominently in my autobiography in the section on the philosopher Baruch
Spinoza, a renegade who was excommunicated by the Amsterdam Jewish
community in The Netherlands. My former psychiatrist, Stanley R.
Palombo, MD, is a graduate of Columbia Medical School].
12-17-02
When I was a senior in college (Spring Term 1975) I took a course in
Jewish history that was taught by the Rabbi at Hillel. There was a young
lady in the class -- a student named Lisa Lippin -- a journalism major
from Philadelphia. We were in the same graduating class (May 1975). We
had no contact whatsoever. Just letting you know that I don't just
notice penises. -- Sorry, Bruce Stein! Yesterday was Beethoven's
birthday -- (232 years old) (He doesn't look a day over 200!) I listened
to the Opus 132 string quartet. That's the one Daniel Ellsberg
[Apartment] (146) asked me about in the exercise room, several years
ago.
[Daniel
Ellsberg, who gained notoriety by his act of leaking a secret history
of the Viet Nam War to the "New York Times" in 1971 (the so-called
Pentagon Papers), used to reside in my apartment building at 3801
Connecticut Avenue. He moved in the fall of 2003.
Note
my associative process: both Bruce Stein and Lisa Lippin (like myself)
were journalism majors. I used to see Bruce Stein naked ("exposed," like
the government decisionmakers who ran U.S. policy in Viet Nam) in a
locker room in college before and after a phys. ed. course. Both Stein
and I took the same course in modern Southeast Asian history at Penn
State (History 171) taught by Claire Hirshfield, Ph.D. (Stein and I
didn't know each other.) Beethoven was known for his hatred of political
tyranny and his highly-developed sense of morality. The Jewish religion
sees itself as an "ethics-based" religion. What appear to be "loose
associations" (Judaism, history, sexuality, penises, nudity, physical
exercise, Beethoven, Viet Nam, Daniel Ellsberg, and journalism (a
profession that "exposes" the truth)) are in fact cohesive and
overdetermined. A highly-creative individual (who possesses a capacity
for remote associations) might always appear to be psychotic to an
inexperienced or incompetent psychiatrist.
12-18-02
I know my admission yesterday [that I had a sexual interest in females]
raised the hopes of a lot of hot babes -- that maybe I'd be getting
into the market. I'm not a player. I'm not even sure what team I want to
be on. Here's another admission. I can remember first term, first year
of college someone in philosophy class -- Jeff Conner. He graduated in
May 1975. His picture in the yearbook -- well -- he looks like a girl. I
wonder if he remembers first day of class with Dr. [Fred] Rieman --
2:00 PM, Monday, Sept 27, 1971. One alligator, two alligator, three
alligator, the Kitty Genovese case as it related to the topic of Duty
and Responsibility. Gloria Goldsmith & Bill Devuono were in that
class. The first day of class I sat in back of Conner -- later I sat in a
different spot -- on first row.
[Bill
DeVuono was in my high school graduating class (Central High School,
1971, 230th class); we were acquaintances. Gloria Goldsmith and I were
in the same class in seventh and eighth grades in junior high school. On
the first day of class in Rieman's philosophy course, Rieman took a
Polaroid of the class and counted "one alligator, two alligator, three
alligator," as he waited for the photo to develop. The first day of
class we discussed the philosophical meaning of the Kitty Genovese case;
a young woman who was murdered in an apartment courtyard while her
neighbors did nothing in response to her desperate cries for help. My
identification with Genovese at age 17 (as evidenced by my lifelong
recollection of the class discussion on 9-27-71) is revealing.
Psychoanalytically, we can infer that my current desperate circumstances
parallel childhood feelings of desperation.]
12-19-02
TRENT
LOTT [in a threatening tone]: If this thing doesn't get resolved soon, I
may quit the Senate altogether and retire to Pascagoola. You'll end up
with a 50/50 split in the Senate.
HILLARY CLINTON: O-o-o-o, I'm scared!
12-20-02
I'll tell you what I'd like to do. I'd like to type up all these notes
on a computer disc. I've been communicating with you since mid-June
2001. That's a lot of notes -- about 400 notes. I could send the disc
out to different people -- like members of Congress -- that would be
fun. No-- it would be F - U - N
12-23-02
Happy birthday to me! -- The big four-nine. Did you notice that Trent
Lott made the cover of "Newsweek" last week? I guess you could say Lott
is quite literally the Senator that "Time" forgot. (A little Evan Thomas
humor).
12-23-02
Here's somebody to look into: DOUGLAS ANDERSON. Dean, College of
Communications, Pennsylvania State University (814) 863-1484. You can
tell Dean Anderson that a '75 journalism major is on the road to a
Pulitzer Prize!
12-24-02
Today, December 24, 2002 is the 36th anniversary of the great Christmas
Eve snowstorm of 1966. Just don't mention that to Sid Dorfman -- He'll
whack you over the head if he hears you say that.
[Dorfman
and I were coworkers and friends at The Franklin Institute in
Philadelphia. Subject graduated Central High School in June 1966 (225th
class). We both worked with Hilliard Cohen (Central High School, June
1965, 224th class). Cohen and I attended subject's wedding in the summer
of 1977 or 1978. Subject said he used to work with an annoying person
who used to refer all the time to the great Christmas Eve snowstorm of
1966].
12-25-02
/ 12-26-02 I'm thinking of going on strike. I just won't take
medication, if I decide to strike. What does the medication do, really?
It's a crutch for the clinic. It gives the impression that they're doing
something, when, in fact, they're not doing anything. I've been at this
clinic for over 6 (six) years now. How far have I come? What really
gets me, is that for about 4 years at GW, those nut jobs kept saying I
needed to take meds. Well, I've been taking meds -- and what? Not
nothin'. It's crap. This will go on for years. Where is this going? I
need to register my discontent, and believe me, I am discontented. This
is the moral equivalent of WAR ! ! !
12/27/02
I notice that Kenya has its first new prime minister in 24 years -- and
(Big Surprise!) his name is not Rubenstein. Here's something I had
forgotten since high school, and it recently came back to me. I can
recall that on one occasion David Rosenbaum (229th class) [Central High
School, 1970] had started to write a string quartet. He had the first
and second violin parts written to what, I guess, was the first
movement. Not exactly the Beethoven C# minor quartet. I remember he got
somebody to play it with him. People were standing around, some
laughing. But it went on and on -- and you couldn't help but be
impressed by Rosenbaum's seriousness of purpose. -- And now 50 resume
pages later, well--
[Rosenbaum
is now a professor of psychology at The Pennsylvania State University
at College Park (with a resume that lists an extraordinarily extensive
list of publications). Note the parallel between my description of the
teen-age Rosenbaum ("seriousness of purpose") and my description of
Cleveland Park Branch Librarian Brian Brown as "an earnest young man, a
man who exemplifies 'the meaning of 'Meaning It.'" Don't get me wrong,
sex and alcohol have their place. But there should be more to life than
getting laid and getting wasted.]
12-30-02
Message for Howard Jacobson [-- an Akin Gump tax attorney] -- like I
always said -- Say what you will about the goyim, but they know how to
celebrate New Years. None of that fasting and praying and out-of-tune
rams horns. For the Gentiles it's all about getting drunk and getting
laid. I see them as a positive influence on the Jewish people. Say, Mr.
Jacobson, I still remember seeing you, Trude [Jacobson's wife], and the
kids on TV for that fund-raiser for Children's Hospital. I got a real
charge out of your older son who was so proud of his kid brother's
reading of his Haphtarah portion. -- Say, are you still a fan of the
"Sports Illustrated" swim suit edition? What about that Israeli
chocolate you used to sell? You know I can still remember seeing you in
the office on Sunday Dec 23, 1990. --Check your billing records.
Remember: "Taxation without Representation is Tyranny."
[Jacobson
and I had offices on the firm's ninth floor in the year 1990. Note, as
in an earlier message, the association of religion and sex. (One recalls
Jeffrey Masson's observation: "I still considered myself a spiritual
person, but I was becoming increasingly obsessed with sex."
Analytically, the association of "tax attorney" and "chocolate" may be
overdetermined references to anality. December 23 is my birthday. Note
the reference to mentoring and warm fraternal feelings ("your older son
who was so proud of his kid brother's reading of his Haphtarah
portion"). Compare the note dated 12/27/02 -- specifically, my feelings
of esteem and admiration for Rosenbaum's compositional effort.]
12-31-02
This medication Abilify is a real Catch-22 situation. The medication is
so new that pharmacies won't have it available till January 2003, but
the coupon for free meds (see reverse side of prescription) expires
today -- December 31, 2002. By the way, you know what Boris Yeltsin's
psychiatrist told Ambassador Bob Strauss? -- "Trust but Abilify"
["Trust
but Abilify" is a play on President Reagan's motto concerning arms
control agreements with the Soviet Union, "Trust but Verify."]
1-1-03
/ 1-2-03 Nothing to report. Slow news day. Can you see going through
another year of these notes? I'm a psycho-freak and the meds aren't
helping. Like I told Judge Penn, the ravages of mental illness are
indeed tragic.
[Back
in the late 1990s I wrote a letter to U.S. District Court Chief Judge
John Penn detailing my situation. The letter was sarcastic in tone and
closed with the line: "Such are the tragic ravages of severe mental
illness." Judge Penn must have thought I was a disrespectful wiseacre.]
1-3-03
I remember in high school chemistry [class,] all fall, my teacher used
to say that her goal was to get to the "gas laws" by Christmas break. I
wonder if she met her goal this past year. Did she get to the gas laws?
And, on another front: [cut out from magazine] "I can't even remember
the last time I had sex." Robert Plant
1-6-03
There's been a change in Barbara, the librarian. She leaves me alone
now, totally ignores me. I see that as a good thing -- But I wonder what
prompted that. Look into that!
1-7-03 My take on the Bush economic proposal: It's Keynes on crack!
1-8-03
The shit is going to hit the fan this afternoon, when I visit my
psychologist [Dr. Shaffer] and psychiatrist [Dr. Cooper]. I'm going to
press my demands to know what the heck is going on! I'm going to set out
a list of specific and recognized criteria of psychological functioning
and ask how I would be evaluated according to these criteria. Happy
Birthday President Nixon! 90 years old! Was it yesterday or today or
tomorrow?
1-08-03 / 1-09-03 Doc Shaffer refused to accept this document, yesterday 1-8-03.
Dr. Shaffer:
Please
complete the following psychological assessment questionnaire. The
questionnaire is based on specific and recognized criteria of
personality functioning. It is hoped that in reviewing or completing the
questionnaire, you will focus on specific problem areas in your work
with me, and the causal links between my level of functioning and (1) my
interpersonal difficulties and (2) indications for medical treatment.
1.(a) What is the patient's level of self-cohesion?
--level of integration
--dependency on object attachments
--sense of identity
--degree of complementary role play
--mechanisms used to maintain cohesiveness
--degree of identity diffusion
(b.) How does patient's level of self-cohesion impair his interpersonal relations?
(c.) What are the medical indications?
2.(a.) What is the level of patient's self-object differentiation?
--How does patient maintain self-object differentiation in the face of object attachments of varying intensity
See 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to variable 2(a.)
3. Describe the patient's object relations
--Are his emotional relationships impoverished in any way?
--do they lack genuineness?
--does he have a capacity for object cathexis?
--Are his object relations merely need-satisfying?
--What is patient's level of object constancy?
--Are his relations superficial/transient?
--Does he engage in passive compliance?
--Are his attachments narcissistic?
See 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to variable 3(a.)
4. What is patient's level of internalization?
--Does patient have a capacity for identification?
--Are patient's internalizations merely imitative or introjective?
SEE 1(b.) and 1(c.), above, and answer with respect to 4(a.)
5.(a.) What is the level of patient's ego organization?
--How is patient's ego organization affected by the absence of object attachment?
See 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to 5(a.)
6(a) What is the level of the patient's reality resting?
SEE 1(b,) and 1(c.), above, and answer with respect to 6(a.).
7.(a.) What is the level of patient's impulse control?
SEE 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to 7(a.)
8. What is the degree and sources of anxiety for patient?
--Does separation anxiety predominate
--Is there fear of abandonment
SEE 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to 8(a)
9.(a) What is the patient's level of superego development?
--What is the nature of patient's moral standards/ideals
--Do his ideals tend to be imitative
--Do his ideals shift easily from one contradictory view to another?
--Does he depend on external objects to maintain his moral values?
SEE 1(b) and 1(c), above, and answer with respect to 9(a.)
10(a.) Describe patient's primary process functioning?
--characteristic
--non-characteristic
SEE 1(b.) and 1(c.), above, and answer with respect to 10(a.)
11(a.) Describe patient's defensive organization
--What are the predominant ego defenses?
12(a.) Describe patient's libidinal phase development with reference to constancy, level, and regressions.
13(a.) Describe patient's regressive potential
--How is patient's regressive potential affected by loss of object attachment
--Is regression easily reversed (under what conditions)?
1-10-03
My psychiatrist, Dr. Cooper, says she's unfamiliar with literature
indicating that Paxil (paroxetine) [an antidepressant] is useful for the
treatment of insomnia. I would like to direct her attention to Nowell
PD et al. "Paroxetine in the Treatment of Primary Insomnia: Preliminary
Clinical and EEG Sleep Data." Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, Volume 60,
pages 89-95 (1999). As Lynn Margulies would say: "Read It!"
[Lynn
Margulies is a brilliant and renowned microbiologist who has an
encyclopedic knowledge of the literature in her field. She was the
subject of a "New York Times Magazine" article several years ago.
Whenever someone contradicts her professional opinion she will rattle
off, from memory, the title of a published paper that supports her view,
and state emphatically: "READ IT!" Margulies was married to famed
astronomer Carl Sagan (now deceased).]
1-13-02
Here's somebody to look into: PETER SCHEINER. Central High School,
230th graduating class, 1971. We were in the same music theory class in
1970-1971 (senior year). He can give you the inside scoop on Joseph
Ostrow, who taught renowned linguist, Noam Chomsky, now at MIT. Scheiner
doesn't seem very promising. He lists no extracurricular activities and
for career ambition he lists "undecided."
1-14-03
Message for Senator Lieberman-- I think John Edwards is better-looking
than you. He has that nice goyish grin that you look for in a candidate.
Yesterday at the library Velvel was talking about the upper-class in
ancient Rome -- "The Patricians." I thought it was a reference to Pat
Loud. Then Brian mentioned something about sexual orientation -- that
was the clincher.
[In
January 2003 PBS-TV broadcast a show on Lance Loud, and rebroadcast an
episode of the PBS series "An American Family," originally aired in the
year 1973. "An American Family," an early prototype of reality-TV
programming, followed the daily lives of the Loud family, "a typical
middle-class family," who lived in Santa Barbara, California. The oldest
son, Lance Loud, was homosexual. The mother was named Pat Loud. I had
mentioned to several people not associated with the library, including
my psychologist (Dr. Shaffer), that I was a big fan of the show.]
1-15-03
Trivia question for Elliott Feldman -- In 11th grade social studies
(1969-70 school year), in William Ruderman's class -- we had a student
teacher (I forget his name, I think he was a student at LaSalle). As a
parting gift the class got him what? ANSWER 1. A bottle of whiskey and
2. William L. Shirer's book, "The Collapse of the Third Republic."
[Feldman
is now an attorney who practices insurance law in Philadelphia. In 9th
grade English class, Feldman and I sat next to each other. A course
assignment in that English class was "All Quiet on the Western Front," a
World War I novel by Erich Maria Remarque.]
1-16-03
It's been unusually quiet in the library. What's up? Brian seems quite
circumspect (or is it circumcised -- I always get the two confused).
Brian has been using the phrase "the old-fashioned way" a lot. A
reference to disbarment? Yesterday Brian kept mentioning Washingtoniana
-- a reference to somebody named "Anna" or something that sounds like
"Anna"-- [or Tony?] I'm at 15 mg/day Abilify -- an anti-psychotic med.
Cool, huh? I take meds -- and they don't jeopardize my disability
benefits. Happy snowstorm!
[Years
earlier I had created a witty paraphrase of the Morgan Stanley
advertising slogan: "DC BAR COUNSEL -- We disbar attorneys the
old-fashioned way. One lawyer at a time." "The Old-Fashioned Way"
(Morgan Stanley) might also refer to my former treating psychiatrist,
Stanley R. Palombo, MD, apparently of Italian heritage. In an earlier
message (11-22-02) I attributed disguised feelings of rage to Brian
Brown, discharged in a barrage of double-entendres (so I believed) that
referred manifestly to persons of Italian heritage; the "old country;"
as well as "senile."
On
11-22-02 I interpreted Brian Brown's statement "Be that as it may" as a
symbolic reference to Kurt R. Eissler, MD. Kurt Eissler, MD, was the
founder of the Sigmund Freud Archives, an entity currently headed by
Harold Blum, MD, who has professional connections with Dr. Palombo. Drs.
Blum and Palombo co-chaired a professional seminar on the work of the
psychoanalyst Erik H. Erikson in 1994 in New York City ("The Dream
Specimen in Psychoanalysis.")
The
paraphrase I created (concerning the DC Bar Counsel) was contained in a
document on a computer disc that I had sent to numerous parties.
"Circumcised:"
In Yiddish it's called a "Bris," which was also the title of a Seinfeld
episode that I parodied in a previous message. That particular Seinfeld
episode featured references to professional ethics and loss of license.
In that episode a mohel (the person who performs a circumcision)
states: "I should have been a kosher butcher like my brother. You make a
mistake with a cow, you move on with your life." "Nobody ruins this for
me, it's my life, it's my livelihood!"
Analytically,
note the intriguing connection between the notes dated 1-15 and 1-16.
The note dated 1-15 poses a "trivia question," and uses the phrase
"parting gift" (which is frequently used on TV game shows). The note
dated 1-16 refers to the word "jeopardize:" "Jeopardy" is a popular TV
trivia quiz show.
1-17-03
That was some snow storm, wasn't it -- all 1/2 inch of it! Laurie
Kravitz ([Apartment] 236) is moving out -- that's a real loss to the 2d
floor community.
[Kravitz
and I did not know each other. Her apartment was directly above mine.
She was very chatty and her voice used to travel through the ventilation
duct to my apartment.]
1-20-03
/ 1-21-03 Here's somebody to look into JONATHAN K. FEARS, M.D. Fears
was an abstracter at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Elena Saboe
used to edit his work. He graduated from Haverford College with a B.A.
in English. He received an MD from the University of Virginia Medical
College and specializes in asthma, allergy, & immunology. He's in
Huntingtown, Maryland -- 301 855-1644. He can give a summary of the
culture at The Franklin Institute in the mid-seventies.
[Elena
Saboe used to be my supervisor at The Franklin Institute in
Philadelphia. She wrote a letter of recommendation for me for law school
in 1979. Elena Saboe shared an office for several years (1976-1979)
with an employee named Verlyn Hewer, whose husband, William Bener, Esq.,
is an attorney who practices in Doylestown, PA.]
1-22-03
Message for President Bush -- The French! Jacques Chirac is a crock.
Don't take orders from Eurotrash. God Bless Tony Blair!
[Refers to international diplomatic conflict about the upcoming war in Iraq.]
1-23-02
I just learned yesterday that Dr. Jerry Mortimer Wiener died in
September 2001. A real loss to the psychiatric community. Also, I would
request that Dr. Sack's daughter reconsider her decision not to go into
psychiatry. Radiology has too much math in it.
[The
late Lawrence C. Sack, MD, a psychiatrist, had a professional office in
my apartment building. I had read on the Internet that Dr. Sack's
daughter decided to do a residency in radiology instead of her first
choice, psychiatry, because of her concerns about the managed-care
system. Dr. Sack's son, Robert Sack, MD, is a local psychiatrist.]
1-24-03
I'm not taking anti-psychotic meds (Abilify) anymore. It may have been
causing insomnia. Do you notice the difference? Do I seem more
irrational, out-of-control, wild, in need of supervision, on the verge
of involuntary commitment, potentially violent, argumentative, even more
paranoid than usual?
[Insomnia
is a recognized side-effect of Abilify. I have a long history of
insomnia, and have been medicated for the symptom since 1999.]
1-27-03
Did you see the Sunday NY Times Magazine article about George W. Bush?
They say he makes Pres. Reagan look like a moderate. What they meant,
but didn't say, was that George Bush makes Ronald Reagan look like a
fag! You heard it here first! -- Like I said 12 years ago: New Key Rock!
[In the early 1970s, while running for Mayor of Philadelphia, then
Police Commissioner Frank Rizzo said that he would make Attila the Hun
look like a fag.]
1-28-03 Message for Mr. Castleberry [please transmit]. This is the right
and prudent time to institute on-line direct payment of rent. With a
war coming -- and all that entails, including homeland involvement such
as terrorist attacks, germ/chem/radiological warfare -- people may not
be able to transact business at their bank. With on-line rent payment,
tenants won't even have to leave the building. Think about it. It's the
patriotic thing to do. Talk it over with the WRIT home office. -- [hand
drawn picture of the American flag, then the message:] God Bless Rent.
In just a few months Washington could be a far different place from what
it is at this moment. Different from anything we can now imagine --
Only the prepared will survive!
1-29-03 Ignacio, from the library is gone for good, I think. And he didn't even kiss me good-bye. What kind of person is he?
[Ignacio (last name?) worked at the circulation desk at the Cleveland Park Library.]
1-30-03 Last afternoon, at my psychologist's, we talked about Steve
Routh, an attorney (partner) at Hogan & Hartson. Routh's wife (Linda
Stein) had a baby boy Robert Martin Routh in January 1987. Routh had a
degree from the London School of Economics. I wonder if Routh knew Glenn
Fine, an economics major from Harvard (Routh was a Harvard grad). Routh
and Fine worked in nearby offices, when Fine was a law clerk at
H&H. I wonder if Routh knew that Fine was VERY SPECIAL. I knew that.
[Steve Routh clerked for DC Appeals Court Judge John M. Ferren, who
heard my appeal, Freedman v. DC Department of Human Rights in the year
1994, which was dismissed for lack of jurisdiction. (I believe that
Judge Ferren himself had once practiced at Hogan). Routh worked in the
education practice group at Hogan; Routh was a member of a large team of
attorneys, under Elliott Mincberg (now with "People for the American
Way" -- a constitutional rights advocacy organization) and David Tatel,
Esq. (now an associate judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the DC
Circuit) who represented the Milwaukee, WI public school district in
desegregation litigation. I worked with Routh on a document production
task in late December 1986 to early January 1987. Routh was an idealist
who named his first child, Robert Martin, for Robert F. Kennedy and
Martin Luther King, Jr. I always wondered what a psychoanalyst would say
about the Oedipal (or other) implications of naming one's son, a first
child, for two persons who were murdered. Glenn Fine is now Inspector
General of the United States. He was a Rhodes Scholar and a star
basketball player as a Harvard undergrad; his law degree is from
Harvard. Esquire magazine's December 2003 issue featured a one-page
article on Fine (page 200): "Glenn Fine: The Conscience of the D.O.J."]
1-30-03 Richard Reid gives a whole new meaning to the phrase-- "He has his foot in the door."
[Richard Reid, the so-called "show bomber," was a terrorist who concealed explosives in his shoe.]
1-31-03 Here's another Hogan partner who may remember Glenn Fine from
the time in 1985 that Fine worked as a law clerk at the firm -- George
H. Mernick, III 637-5726. Mernick worked on the 2nd floor at 815 Conn
Ave in fall 1985 -- near Nancy Kent (in accounting).
2-3-03 I'll tell you my one recollection of George Mernick. It was the
final days at 815 Connecticut Avenue in early April 1987. The building
management at 815 Conn Ave was already starting up its renovation for
the new major tenant. There was drilling of the terrace outside the
building. The drilling was very noisy. Somebody (apparently not with the
firm) asked Mernick what was going on. Mernick said we were moving to a
new building, the other party said: "A new building?" Mernick said "A
brand-new building!" -- Thus spoke George Mernick in April 1987.
[Hogan & Hartson moved to Columbia Square (555 13th Street, NW) in
April 1987. One of the tenants at 815 Connecticut Avenue was Clark
Clifford, Esq., former Secretary of Defense and a friend of Robert
Strauss. Clifford's law partner was Robert Altman, Esq.]
2-4-03 Today's Birthdays: Stanley R. Palombo, MD (69) / Daniel D. Cutler
(40). -- The above is the most persuasive evidence against the validity
of astrology!
[Stanley R. Palombo, MD, was my treating psychiatrist in the year 1990. I
worked with Cutler at Hogan & Hartson; he later went to law school
(Seton Hall in New Jersey).]
2-5-03 Yesterday David Grady gave me a testy look when he saw me. Is it
just coincidence that Grady is a Hogan attorney & I've been
communicating with you recently about Hogan attorneys -- such as Steve
Routh and George Mernick? That's a case in point about why I can't
practice law. The jealousy is so EXTREME.
[David Grady, Esq. has been a tenant at 3801 Connecticut Avenue since at least 1990.
A preoccupation with envy or jealousy is a diagnostic criterion of a
narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My current treating
psychologist, Israella Bash, Ph.D., denies that I suffer from NPD.]
2-6-03 Like I told my psychologist yesterday-- I felt that Brian at the
library was reacting to something that made him jealous. He was having a
quiet "tantrum" -- Brian that is. What was Brian reacting to? I think
Brian is just a jealous M-F'er. -- Then Dr. Shaffer [my psychologist]
said she's getting cut from the system. That the city's no longer going
to provide psychological services. What am I going to do? I'm just a
helpless psychotic. I'll have to go elsewhere.
[The term "M-F'er" might be an Oedipal allusion.]
2-7-03 / 2-10-03 I've been so depressed since I heard that I'm losing my
psychologist. I stayed in bed (more or less) all weekend (Fri-Sun) just
sleeping and staring into space in a stupor. This is bad. The District
has been systematically dismantling the mental health system. All that's
left is psychiatrists to prescribe meds. It's inhuman. It's going to
take me some time to get past this.
2-11-03 I'm still depressed about the mental health situation here in
the District. What I'm thinking about is contacting some high-ranking
official, and ask if I can become his pen-pal. That should get some
attention.
2-12-03 Here's the name of Sid Dorfman's predecessor at The Franklin
Institute: Castle Freeman. Freeman left in about 1972. He and I had no
contact. Freeman can give insight into the culture of the Institute at
that time. -- You know, I could die in a terror attack at any time. I
want you to know it's been good knowing you.
[I worked with coworker and friend Sid Dorfman at The Franklin Institute
in Philadelphia. Dorfman obtained a B.S. in biology at Temple
University in 1970. We attended the same high school.]
2-13-03 I've mentioned this before-- But you need a civil defense plan.
Duck tape, duck tape, duck tape. As far as I see there's no plan at all.
It's each tenant for himself. What is wrong with you people?
2-14-03 Later, dude.
2-17-03 / 2-18-03 / 2-19-03 I'm starting with a new psychologist --
Meghana Tembe at GW's Center for Professional Psychology -- a new
beginning. -- Did you survive the storm? --
FREEDMAN: I'm coming back to GW!
DR. WIENER: Over my dead body!!
[Jerry M. Wiener, MD, was the chairman of the psychiatry department at
GW, where I was in treatment from September 1992 to June 1996. Dr.
Wiener died in early September 2001.]
2-20-03 I think that Mr. Pius and Mr. Doug did an outstanding job with
the snow. They selflessly battled the elements during and after the
storm of the century, all for the greater good of the residents. I
recommend that those fine men be given a bonus of $50 each. Remember, a
storm like this is a once-in-a-century occurrence.
[Doug and Pius were the building engineers at 3801 Connecticut Avenue, my residence.]
2-21-03 Message for Brian-- Please get the "A-Drive" fixed on the
computer. Sure, it was cute in the beginning -- humorous, even -- but
now it's just plain annoying. And I'm getting really p.o.'d. Get the
damn thing fixed, Brian.
2-24-02 I had my first session with my new psychologist at GW on Friday
(2-21-03) -- Meghana Tembe. She's good, if you can get through her
accent -- She's from India. You can call her at the clinic (202)
887-0775. -- By the way, if I run into financial problems, I'm thinking I
could move in with Brian -- I could be his butler -- Put his clothes
out for him, run his bath, get him his coffee, arrange secret trysts
with babes!
[Note that the very first reference to a friendship with Brian Brown (in
the guise of a professional relationship) seems to be a negation of my
relationship with my new psychologist, Meghana Tembe. Arguably, from the
outset, my fantasies of closeness to Brian were a reaction to a
relationship with a psychologist who I did not like at first sight.]
2-25-03 I have my second assessment session this morning with my new
psychologist at GW. Meghana Tembe. I can't tell you how many evaluations
and assessments I've gotten in my life. -- Brian hasn't voiced any
interest in my becoming his butler. I'd be willing to do his wife. In
fact. I could sleep with his wife, and Brian could sleep in the servants
quarters. It's Oedipal.
2-26-03 Message for Brian -- Listen, Brian -- I was over at the West End
Branch of the library system yesterday. That place was like a real
library -- no chatting librarians, no noise, no librarians talking about
their wive's first homosexual husband. I'm sorry to say it, but, you
can't run a library. Cleveland Park is run like a social club.
Moreover-- they have four computers over there, and you don't have to be
hunched over to use them. They have privacy screens right on the
computers. What's up with that?
[William Dacosta's wife, Debra (also a DC librarian), was previously
married to a homosexual. Dacosta himself is a medicated bi-polar
psychotic who takes lithium and Risperdal to control delusions and
hallucinations. Isn't it odd that a patron should know all that by
simply sitting in the library? On one occasion Dacosta permitted a
patron to talk to him (in a loud, disruptive voice) about masturbation
and fellatio. William Dacosta is Brian Brown's only male colleague.]
2-27-03 Did you catch Doug Feith last night on the CBS Evening News with
Dan Rather? He's the Under Secretary of Defense. Douglas Feith --
Central High School, 230th class, 1971. Do you think Dan knew that?
2-28-03 / 3-3-03 Message for Brian. Brian-- would you sleep with me?
It's not sexual. It's a Michael Jackson thing. Sure it might generate a
lot of gossip. But, you know, let people talk!
3-4-03 It's almost 24 years to the day in March 1979 when Malcolm
Lassman and Larry Hoffman snagged that giant fish and had it mounted in
the lunch room at Akin Gump. An amazing catch.
[The lunch room at Akin Gump features a gag "fish" made of metal, with a
plaque that indicates the date in March 1979 that Malcolm Lassman and
Lawrence Hoffman caught it.]
3-5-03 Message for Brian-- What do you do on Mondays, Brian, now that
the libraries are closed? You know, I was thinking we could make Monday
"our day" Brian. We could hang out, go places, do things. We could be
buddies Brian -- and Mondays could be "our day." I'm thinking, in the
summer, we could head up to Baltimore and take in a ball game and have a
hot dog or two. What do you say? Sounds good, huh? You need a friend,
Brian. You spend too much time at the library. You need a buddy who'll
show you how to live a little. That's me, buddy! Call me (202) 362-7064.
I'll be waiting.
3-6-03 / 3-7-03 I had my last session with my psychologist, Dr. Shaffer, on Wed 3-5-02. Onward and upward to GW I go!
3-10-03 / 3-11-03 I think the DC Gov't is screwed-up. My mental health
clinic pharmacy ran out of my sleep medication early last week (a common
med) and still hasn't received its order. I was given the old standby
this morning (3-10) on the telephone: "Could you call back tomorrow?" --
You know, it's the Jews who are behind this!
[The reference to anti-Semitism alludes to Congressman Jim Moran's
allegation that it was primarily the Jews who were in favor of going to
war with Iraq.]
3-12-03 I just got a letter from Social Security saying they're
reviewing my case. I got a big case of the "war jitters" -- What will
the outcome be? I could lose this thing -- or win it in a matter of
weeks. -- Message for Jim Moran-- I didn't know Tony Blair was Jewish.
3-13-03 Things are quiet at the library. Brian is on vacation to the 19th of March. I still have war countdown jitters.
[Note the connection between the subject matter of the message on 3-12
(war) and the reference to the "quiet" at the library: a possible
association to the war novel "All Quiet on the Western Front." I read
the novel in ninth-grade English class in high school. (See message
dated 3/14).
3-14-03 Slow news day. Beware the Ides of March, which is coming up.
[The Ides of March is an apparent association to "Julius Caesar," a Shakespeare play I read in ninth-grade English class.]
3-17-03 I've got the war jitters really bad. I can't tell you how
nervous I am about this. What is that expression Americans use? "The
shit is being frightened from my anus?"
3-18-03 / 3-19-03 BUY BONDS TODAY! WAR! As you can see I'm stocking up
on supplies. This is only the beginning of a massive stockpile to insure
my ability to last out a major siege of Washington. I plan to survive
this thing. Now, what about direct payment of rent online. Remember --
only the prepared will survive.
3-20 / 3-21-03 / 3-24-03 The Iraqi Ambassador to the United Nations --
Mohammed Al-Doury -- is in violation of the No-Comb Zone. Did you see
that guy? He's bald, but he has one of those "comb-over jobs."
3-25-03 SHOCK AND AWE.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: I have seen it all. You can't shock me, you can't even annoy me. --
I'm lovin' the new exercise room-- Thank you, WRIT!
["WRIT" is the Washington Real Estate Investment Trust.]
3-26-03 Tell you what I really like in the new exercise room is the
"natural runner" machine. You get a good aerobic workout-- and it's very
low impact. Good choice of machinery! [Cut out from magazine article
referring to Bob Strauss and his wife:] "All Bob would have to say was
'It would be nice if I had a newspaper.' It would be midnight [and]
Helen would run out to get a newspaper."
[If I could have found a wife like that, I'd have gotten married years ago.]
3-27-03 / 3-28-03 David Bloom-- You put the "B" in NBC.
[David Bloom was an NBC reporter who was killed several weeks later, covering the war in Iraq.]
3-31-03 IN MEMORY OF THE FALLEN
IGNACIO (Hot Latino)
DEBRA (Ghetto Fabulous)
TERRI (Ebony Hottie)
BREW SNYDER (Wittiest)
LYNNE BOZE (Best Southern Accent)
RONNIE (Least Vulnerable)
MR. PEOPLES (Biggest)
R. I. P.
e n e
a a
d c
e
[Refers to former library staff persons. I believed that all of the
named persons knew about Brian Brown's communications with Akin Gump
managers. Bruce Snyder replaced Lynne Boze as one of the librarians in
about 1992. Ronnie was the children's librarian. Mr. Peoples was the
custodian who preceded Alex Chandler. Terri and Debra worked at the
circulation desk.]
4-1-03 I have a feeling your contacts have already contacted Richard
& Bonnie Moses, so I won't bother giving you background facts on
those people.
[Richard Moses, D.O., a gastroenterologist with a law degree from Temple
University Law School, was in my graduating class in high school,
Central High School, 230th class, 1971. His wife, Bonnie, is a lawyer
who worked for Leonard Sagot Associates, and may have known Jeffrey
Orchinik, Esq., who used to practice at Sagot & Jennings.
Inserted at this point is a solicitation from The Central High School
Capital and Endowment Campaign: an invitation by Judge Lawrence S.
Margolis (Central High School, 199th class) for Cocktails and
Conversation on April 8, 2003 at The United States Court of Federal
Claims, Washington. Judge Margolis' chambers is (202) 219 9581.]
4-2-03 Brian -- Psy-Ops. I hope you understand I've just been fucking with your head -- nothing more. It's all good, clean fun.
4-3-03 Anyway, like I was saying -- on Tuesday, 4-1-03, I was walking
along 23rd Street, and I saw Jim Stewart of CBS-NEWS. He saw me, gazed
at me, I looked away -- turned to him -- and he was still looking at me.
I was sure he recognized me. But how? He was carrying a "carryout"
lunch -- a few steps away from the CBS studio on 23rd Street. I'm
Famous!
[The phrase "Anyway, like I was saying" suggests to me that I had
already begun to leave messages to Brian Brown on the library's public
access computer hard drive by this date, and that I was continuing a
message that I had begun at the library.]
4-4-03 Here's a flash from the past: MARCIA CHASE. She worked at The
Franklin Institute in Philadelphia in the early 70s. I and some other
folks had lunch over at her apartment in (I think) the summer of 1972.
Marcia Chase made gazpacho. She worked with Barbara Van Horne. They
worked for Joe Pitts. Those were the days! I was 18 years old and moving
up in the world (briefly).
4-4-03 BONUS Elizabeth Joyce is always going on about the British -- the
defenders of liberty! I notice she never talks about the Queen's uncle
-- he was a Nazi sympathizer. Actually, I'm a lot like the Duke of
Windsor, myself, except for the money, the sex, and the Nazi
connections.
[Elizabeth Joyce used to work at the front desk at 3801 Connecticut
Avenue. She retired in the summer of 2003, after about 17 years at the
building. I thought that she knew all about the invasions of my privacy
by Elaine Wranik and David Castleberry. I also think she knew all about
my difficulties at Akin Gump.]
4-07-03 / 4-8-03 So much for Bob Simon's advice on surviving in Iraq!
[Refers to the death of NBC-News reporter David Bloom in Iraq. Simon, a
CBS-News reporter -- who was captured by Iraqis during the Persian Gulf
War in 1991 -- had written that there was one sure way to survive in
Iraq: "Just keep your eyes and your balls covered." In 1991 Simon and
his news crew had been captured along a desert road in war-torn Iraq,
and held captive by Saddam loyalists for forty days.
Excursus: It was in a trifurcation of the road, where Oedipus "had
killed the old man who had tried to thrust him out of the path -- the
old man who has turned out to be his father, Laius: 'For now I am found
evil and of evil birth. O ye three roads, and thou secret glen -- thou
coppice and narrow way where three paths met -- Ye who drank from my
hands that father's blood which was my own, -- remember ye, perchance,
what deeds I wrought for you to see, -- and then, when I came hither,
what fresh deeds I went on to do?' Karl Abraham held the trifurcation of
the road as the symbol of the maternal genitals, the place of traffic
with the father and the son. (This interpretation is certainly
reinforced by the words 'secret glen' and 'coppice and narrow way.') In
the speech, the mother's genitals become charged with oral-sadistic
libido and drink blood. The 'place where three paths meet' is called on
to witness the past, 'the deeds I wrought for you to see.' This is after
Oedipus has destroyed his own sight, has symbolically castrated
himself. (Eyes are related to testicles symbolically and etymologically
-- note the German Eier (egg) [compare message at 5-15-03, below, that
refers to eggs] and Auge (eye) -- and testicles literally means 'little
witnesses.') I have stated that part of soul murder is the consequences
of seduced children taking on the guilt of the seducing parent. By
assuming the adult's lies and denial, the children renounce their own
ability to see what is and has been. They cease being reliable witnesses
to the past and to present repetitions of the past." Shengold, L. "Soul
Murder: The Effects of Childhood Abuse and Deprivation" at 48 (New
Haven, Yale University Press, 1989).]
4-9-03 Brian-- Pick a day -- and order the tickets. How about June 30 --
Orioles/Yankees. Just you & me, buddy! [Attached is the Baltimore
Orioles Camden Yards Home Game Schedule (2003).]
4-11-03
GEORGE BUSH: Hello, Madame.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: Madame? What are you calling me Madame for?
GEORGE BUSH: Those are ladies glasses.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: Ladies glasses?
GEORGE BUSH: Sure, says right here, "Gloria Vanderbilt Collection."
SADDAM HUSSEIN: That son of a bitch sold me ladies glasses!
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode. Saddam Hussein had appeared on television
with large-framed glasses, a rare sight. Note the connection between
this note and the preceding one dated 4/7 ("Just keep your eyes and your
balls covered") as well as the note on 4-9 ("Take me out to the 'ball
game'")]
4-11-03 THE BAGHDAD CAFE
SADDAM HUSSEIN: I gotta get out of this city!
GEORGE BUSH: So, you're tunneling to the center of the earth?
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
4-14-03 Could you tell Mr. Castleberry that it's about time to start
thinking about putting the summer furniture up on the roof. We're
heading for some warm, summer-like days. -- Also, speaking of the roof
-- on Saturday (4-12) at about 5:30 PM, somebody was barbecuing on a
grill on the roof. Can you do that? Isn't that a fire hazard? Hot coals
and all that.
4-15-03 MESSAGE FOR SYRIA
GEORGE BUSH: We demilitarize countries the old-fashioned way -- One regime at a time.
4-16-03 As you know, 3883 Connecticut Avenue, across the way. is now
renting to tenants. The apartment directly across from my apartment --
the first terrace above the tool shed -- has been rented to a
good-looking young guy. He comes out onto the terrace from time to time,
to smoke a cigarette. Maybe you could induct him into providing covert
information about me to you. He frequently looks across to my apartment
and sees me. (I've been behaving -- no nudity and no masturbating in
front of my neighbor across the way).
[Note that the message on 4/14 refers to a smoking barbecue; the message on 4/16 refers to a smoking tenant.]
4-17-03 Tell you who I think about from time to time -- "Ari" -- (not
Ari Fleischer) -- He used to be a tenant in the building. Elizabeth
Joyce will remember him. He looked like a fine young man -- A young man
with character. I had identified him as someone who was probably going
places in life. Now, several years later, I wonder what he's doing --
whether he has fulfilled his "early promise." Tell him to give me a call
if you talk to him.
[Note that the messages on 4/16 and 4/17 both concern the issue of
tenancy. In the message on 4/16 I refer to the issue of "being peered
at" and in the message on 4/17 I refer to the act of "peering at" a
tenant.]
4-17-03 Message for Malcolm Lassman: This is the 12th Passover you've ruined for me! When will the insanity end?
4-18-03 Happy Easter to my Christian friends. -- Did you talk to Ari? Is he on a safari?
4-21-03 TO TELL THE TRUTH
KITTY CARLISLE: I think Saddam No. 3 is the real Saddam. He's the only
contestant who knew about the 60% discount at J&T Optical.
SADDAM NO. 3: Retail is for suckers!
[The message is a parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
4-22-03 Message for Condaleeza Rice -- In a novel titled "The Cobra
Event" published in 1997 (6 years ago) (a book about germ warfare),
Richard Preston writes that the French Unscom inspectors weren't
interested in finding any WMD in Iraq -- that the inspectors were
ordered by the French Gov't not to find anything in Iraq -- That was six
years ago! See p. 115.
[The French were supposedly opposed to war with Iraq because of their
commercial interests in Iraq. The previous message (4/21) refers to
concealing the truth and commercial interests at a retail level.]
4-23-03 If you're wondering where all this paper comes from, a tenant,
Mike Epstein, threw it away. It's all "Star Wars" crap. I thought that
kid Epstein was a nut-job. -- By the way, today is Shakespeare's
birthday (and the anniversary of his death -- He died on his birthday).
[Epstein was a tenant in apartment 108. He was a graduate of Utica College, I believe.]
4-24-03 Jonathan Belmont, MD, -- graduated first in his class at my high
school -- Central High School, 230th class, 1971. Smart guy. He's
signed up for classmates.com -- so he's obviously willing to talk. He
can give you the inside dope on another class star, Doug Feith -- Now
Undersecretary of Defense. By the way, in the class yearbook, Feith was
elected "Honorary Faculty Member" -- He hasn't changed.
[Belmont is an ophthalmologist. Once again, a reference to the eyes.
Incidentally, Belmont was sports editor on the school newspaper. (Eyes =
balls = baseball? See messages for 4/7, 4/9, and 4/11).]
4-25-03 Sheldon Kanfer graduated third in my high school class (230th
class, 1971). Smart guy. He was in the school orchestra; I think he
played the flute. He can give you the inside dope on Douglas Feith,
Undersect'y of Defense in the Bush Administration. The Internet lists
Kanfer as a donor to the Columbus (Ohio?) Symphony Orchestra.
4-28-03 4-29-03 I've got something big planned for you for next week. It's going to be stupendous -- but you'll have to wait.
4-30-03 Stephen I. Kasloff, Esq. Central High School, 228th Class
(1969). He was two years ahead of me in high school. He didn't know me,
but we attended the same elementary school (Rowan Elem Sch). When he was
in the 6th grade, I was in the 4th grade. I remember him because we
were both library volunteers in elementary school -- under Mrs. Mary
Stevens, a teacher. Kasloff was on the Bd of Managers of the CHS Alumni
Association.
4-30-03 BONUS Did you check into Santo Diano, my 10th grade geometry
teacher? (and homeroom teacher). He was a graduate of Central High
School and was an alumnus, served as the school archivist.
5-1-03 Yesterday, Mrs. Joyce said to me, "Hello Gary, how are you?" --
Well, I didn't want to cause a row, but it's not appropriate. The
downstairs staff should not be addressing me directly. After all, how
does Mrs. Joyce know that I am not a peer, in which case I would be
addressed as "Lord Freedman." I'm not a peer, but Mrs. Joyce doesn't
know that. The bottom line is you need to remind staff of protocol. Long
live the empire!
[Elizabeth Joyce was the front desk person at 3801 Connecticut Avenue. She was from London, England.
Note that the word "Peer" (an English lord) has a double meaning; it also means "to look at," or peer at.
Note that the Upstairs/Downstairs dichotomy in the message on 5/1
parallels the respective messages at 4/11 ("tunneling to the center of
the Earth) and 4/14 ("going up to the roof"). The reference to "Lords"
(persons of elevated status) and "downstairs staff" (persons of debased
status) might allude to a family romance fantasy. (See message below,
dated 5-5-03).]
5-2-03 Have a good weekend. I might get together with Brian, if he gives me a call.
5-5-03 / 5-6-03 [Message appended to a picture of a farmer holding a
hoe. Background depicts a farm house, windmill, and silos.] I'm a
sheep-fucker, and my grandson is a librarian. We've moved up over the
generations!
[Refers to Brian Brown, whose grandfather lived in Montana. The term
"sheep-fucker" might be an allusion to Sophocles' Oedipus. Oedipus, the
son of a king, was banished from Thebes in infancy and raised by a lowly
shepherd.
According to Dorothy Burlingham the fantasy of having a twin sibling is a
latency fantasy, Oedipal in origin, in which the child imagines that he
has a twin sibling who will provide narcissistic mirroring and thereby
propitiate the loneliness engendered by the child's Oedipal rage and
associated annihilation anxiety. Burlingham, D. "The Fantasy of Having a
Twin." The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, volume I. (See message
below, dated 5-7-03).]
5-7-03 Brian, buddy, I like you. Why won't you be my friend? I feel so sad and alone.
[My first meeting with Israella Bash, Ph.D. occurred on about May 2,
2003. At this time the only human contacts I had were with three female
mental health professionals whom I disliked: Dr. Bash, Dr. Cooper (my
psychiatrist), and Meghana Tembe (my psychotherapist at GW).]
5-8-03 Somebody to look into: Leonard Goldstein, MD. Classmates.com.
Central High School 1971 (230th class). I have a funny anecdote about
Goldstein. In 10th grade, the hygiene teacher was talking about the
evils of masturbation, cautioning students not to engage in such
activity. I was sitting next to Goldstein. Apparently, Goldstein didn't
know what the word meant -- he started leafing through his dictionary
trying to find out what masturbation was. Jerry Seinfeld said he didn't
find out till he was in college. Maybe I was precocious.
[Goldstein was in my graduating class at Penn State, May 1975. He was a pre-med major.]
5-9-03 Happy Birthday, Bonnie Jensen! I didn't get you a gift, Bonnie, but remember, Life is a gift!
[Jensen is the assistant manager at 3801 Connecticut Avenue, my residence.]
5-12-03 / 5-13-03 Somebody to look into: Scott Nunamaker. Central High
School, 230th Class, 1971. Supersmart. Was in Ming the Merciless's
English Class in the ninth grade -- 67-68 sch year. I don't know
anything else about him.
[My ninth-grade English teacher, Elliott Cades, known by students as
"Ming the Merciless," was a very demanding teacher. He was a graduate of
Central High School himself, and had taught there at least since the
1930s. He had a law degree. Perhaps he vented his frustrations in life
on his students. He was unmarried, and died at age 83 in the year 1986.]
5-14-03 Here's the inside dope on Bill Einhorn, Esq. -- The great and
glorious Bill Einhorn. (Central High School, 230th class, 1971.) He was
not one of the super smart kids in high school. He made Barnwell, but he
wasn't scholastic (and he wasn't involved in any athletics). In the
immortal words of Lloyd Bentsen -- "You're no Jeff Orchinik" (Orchinik
was brilliant).
[Einhorn, a graduate of Temple Law School, practiced at the Philadelphia
firm of Sagot & Jennings at the time I clerked there (1981-1982).
The Barnwell Award is an academic honor at Central High School.
Einhorn's father owned a fruit/produce/fish market on Stenton Avenue, in
Philadelphia.]
5-15-03 Mrs. Joyce needs to lose some weight. Those extra pounds are not
good for her health. I've been following the following diet -- and I've
lost about 10 pounds. It's high protein -- low carbohydrate. -- Spinach
(10 oz.) -- a little bit of cheese for a snack -- omelet (main evening
meal) [compare message at 4-7-03, above, that refers to eggs] -- skim
milk (for snack in evening). No bread! No potatoes! No rice!
5-16-03 The crazies were out last night! I must have gotten about 5 to 6 bizarre telephone calls last night.
5-19-03 / 5-20-03 Michael Morrison, MD. Central High School, 230th
Class, 1971. According to the most recent alumni newsletter Morrison
made a financial contribution to the Central High School "General Fund"
-- Super bright kid -- Didn't know him.
5-21-03 Mr. Pius or Mr. Douglas -- Thank you for changing my air filter.
5-23-03 Have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend -- and I'll see you Tuesday!
5-27-03 If you're looking for the "story behind the story" on Ming the
Merciless, contact Dr. Norman S. Knee, Central High School, 186th class.
[Attached is blurb on Dr. Knee, DO, FACOFP, who sent the alumni
bulletin "a fascinating story of a series of memorable contacts with
teacher Elliot Cades (who he referred to as 'Ming the Merciless'),
during Knee's stay at Central, during his service in the United States
Army of Occupation in Japan, and the aftermath of those experiences."]
5-27-03 THE ROAD MAP
BIBI NETANYAHU: What about the terrorism, the violence, the settlements, the refugee problem?
THE PRIME MINISTER: I propose that for the moment we place all these
questions aside, and pursue our way further along one particular path.
[Refers to the Middle-East conflict. Note Dr. Shengold's observation
that the metaphors that interconnect with that of the journey are all
involved with the "map of the world" within and the world outside the
mind. The line attributed to "The Prime Minister" (above) is, in fact, a
quote from Freud's "Interpretation of Dreams."]
5-28-03 I'll tell you who I think is a weirdo-- Stanley Schmulewitz. He
works out in the exercise room in his street clothes. Isn't that against
the rules. Gives you an idea of the mentality of the tenants
association as a whole!
[Schmulewitz, who has lived at 3801 Connecticut Avenue for the last 35 years, used to be president of the tenants' association.]
5-29-03 Did you see Mr. Pius' new car? Beautiful. I keep checking it out -- The design, the color -- tres cool!
5-30-03 Here's another item I picked up from my high school alumni
bulletin-- The current rabbi and immediate past president of Jewish
Congregation Beth El in Bethesda are graduates of my high school
(Central High School in Philadelphia).6-2-03 / 6-3-03 After all these
years we find out that Richard Chamberlain is homosexual. Right. Big
surprise! Do you remember, back in 1992 when Aaron Ezekiel told Malcolm
about how he tore up my "Dr. Kildare" collectible cards [in the fourth
grade]? I know all & see all!
[Ezekiel and I were friends in elementary school. I mentioned Ezekiel in
a letter I sent to my sister in 1992. I believe Akin Gump managers
contacted Ezekiel.]
6-4-03 WMD
BABU BAAT: You said there were weapons of mass destruction. But there
ARE no weapons of mass destruction. Where are the weapons of mass
destruction?
PRESIDENT BUSH: The wheels are in motion, Babu. The wheels are in motion even as we speak.
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode.]
6-4-03 BONUS Could you tell Mr. Castleberry-- What I heard -- I heard
Msairi talking about his undergoing diagnostic tests for cancer. It
could be serious.
[Msairi used to be a front-desk employee at 3801 Connecticut Avenue.]
6-5-03 Check this out. The front inner courtyard of 3801 -- you know,
where the entrance is -- if you look at the south side of the building, a
tenant on the sixth floor has a lot of crap in the window --
multicolored junk. It reminds me of when I was a kid. I would put things
in the window of our house. My father would say: "Get that crap out of
the window. It looks like a shit-house from outside!"
6-6-03 Bonny Jensen's life is like a country-western song. When she
filed for divorce her husband said: "I beg your pardon. I never promised
you a rose garden."
[I had overheard Bonnie Jensen talking about her marital difficulties
that led to her divorce. Her husband objected to her hobby of
gardening.]
6-9-03 / 6-10-03 Yesterday (6-8) I saw Ben Wattenberg in the Giant
Supermarket. What happened to his TV show "Think Tank?" Did it get
tanked? -- 6-10 / Strauss' birthday. 139 years old today.
[Refers to the composer Richard Strauss, who was born June 10, 1864.
Wattenberg -- who lives off Connecticut Avenue in DC's Van Ness area --
is a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute.]
6-11-03 Did you know that Bill Cosby and I are good friends? That's
right. I call him Bill, and he calls me Gary. We've been on a first name
basis or years. [Cosby (204th class) and I attended the same high
school in Philadelphia. Attached is form letter from Cosby addressed
"Dear Gary," soliciting financial contributions to Central High School's
capital improvements campaign.]
6-12-03 I'm in a deep funk. I'm just going through the motions of being
alive. Things don't interest me anymore. I don't listen to music much
anymore. Is this what they call depression? My friends don't call
anymore. I guess I'm no fun to be around.
6-13-03 / 6-16-03 / 6-17-03 Happy Friday the 13th. You should wear
garlic around your head for good luck. Enjoy the long day light while
you can. Have a good weekend! Library is closed today. How will Brian
get on w/o me?
6-18-03 Sorry. Got a hot date with Ms. Amos at the welfare office [concerning food stamp recertification].
[Note that the letters have become brief and uninformative, unlike the
earlier messages. By April 2003 I had begun writing daily letters to
Brian Brown at the library (and saving them to the computer hard drive),
a medium of communication that had replaced, in large part, my letter
writing to David Castleberry.]
6-19-03 Idea of reference on 6-17-03. Tues afternoon I added material to
my autobiography on the computer at the West End Branch of the library.
The material concerned the [recently-decided] Charles Sell Supreme
Court case, which concerned anti-psychotic meds. Later in the afternoon
Velvel [at the Cleveland Park Library] started talking about "Zorba the
Greek," which I saw as a reference to Dr. Georgopoulos [my former
treating psychiatrist at GW], who used to recommend I take meds.
[The U.S. Supreme Court opinion in the Sell case quotes expert testimony
to the effect that anti-psychotic medication is very rarely effective
in treating delusional disorder. My diagnosis is delusional disorder.]
6-20-03 / 6-23-03 / 6-24-03 Has David Castleberry ever thought of using
my services at the front desk? -- Maybe the pressure would be too much
for me. I don't know.
6-25-03 3801 was featured briefly on a TV news story last night on
WRC-TV (Ch. 4) about emergency preparedness re: terrorist attacks. One
of our tenants was asked if we have evacuation plans. The tenant
basically said, "Da?" I talked to you about this before. We need civil
defense preparedness. That's more important than a new lobby, don't you
think? -- Dead tenants don't pay rent -- do they? We need to encase 3801
in lead to ward off radiation!
[Management remodeled the lobby beginning in the fall of 2003.]
6-26-03 How do you like my "new" Chinese chochkas? I picked them up in
the trash room. You can pick up a lot of good stuff in people's trash -
computers, picture frames, scrap paper -- an endless variety, really.
6-27-03 FYI -- HUNKY TONY
STEPHEN BREYER: I must confess that I was born heterosexual, but I sign on to the homosexual agenda now and then.
[Refers to a recent U.S. Supreme Court opinion in which Justice Antonin
Scalia referred disparagingly to "the homosexual agenda."]
6-30-03 / 7-1-03 A few days ago I heard David Castleberry talking to
Elizabeth Joyce about capital improvements. What about a pool? Yes! A
big Olympic-sized pool for tenants. 3883 Connecticut has a pool and the
tenants are loving it!
7-2-03 I was going to go to the party, but I decided against it. I'm
basically a monarchist. This whole American independence thing was a bad
idea. -- God Save the Queen!
[Refers to a July 4th party at 3801.]
7-3-03 Did you talk to Judy Glassie about installing a swimming pool,
here at 3801 (using the capital improvements budget)? I think tenants
would enjoy that more than sliding doors [at the front entrance]. -- I
was thinking -- Isn't there any job I could do around the building? What
about emptying the trash rooms every day at, say $5/day ($35/week). I
think I could handle that. Plus I'd get first dibs on the "good" trash.
-- Happy Fourth of July. See you Monday 7.7.03.
[undated] 3801 Masturbation Policy. It may not be done in common areas. This may only be done in your apartments.
[Parody of the new "smoking policy" which was posted in the building.]
7-6-03 BONUS -- LATEST THINKING AT THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESIDENT: What do we do about the growing numbers of unemployed?
SECRETARY OF STATE: We could ship 'em off to Iraq--
NASA ADMINISTRATOR: We could put them in the space shuttle program.
ATTORNEY GENERAL: I say we execute 'em all.
PRESIDENT: (aside to Treasury Secretary): How many billions more do we
have to give away in tax cuts? This fiscal policy is hard work!
7-7-03 BONUS This is the 3-month anniversary of the death of my friend David Bloom.
7-7-03 / 7-8-03 Saturday afternoon (7-5-03) I learned about a dark, ugly
side to Dr. Sack. He forgot about his 4:00 PM appointment. The poor
patient had to wait in his waiting room -- You know how hot that was?
She had to sit there with the door open, with her husband. They were
helpless pawns of the powerful Dr. Sack. At one point the lady stood up
and said-- "I think he stood us up." It was tragic heart-rending - and
it exhibited a streak of callousness and indifference in Dr. Lawrence C.
Sack that heretofore I did not know existed! ! Shame, shame, shame, Dr.
Sack!
7-9-03 I got a notice from Social Security that they're not even going
to bother doing their regular 3-year review, based on the preliminary
information I gave them. Apparently, they can see I'm very, very sick!
[Attached is SSA Notice dated July 8, 2003.]
7-10-03 My psychologist has been on vacation the last two weeks. My
mental state is deteriorating. Maybe I should get together with my
friends.
[The psychologist took several vacations during my therapy with her,
which spanned the period 2/03 to 5/04. She took off the entire month of
December 2003 plus the first two weeks of January 2004. When I
complained to my psychiatrist, Dr. Cooper replied: "Your therapist is
not allowed to take vacations?"]
7-11-03 Nothing to report. Not much chance of going to the All-Star game with my buddy Brian. It's HIS loss! I PITY Brian!
7-14-03 / 7-15-03 Ten years ago today, my girlfriend dumped me! How can I
ever enjoy Bastille Day? How can I ever be with another fraulein?
[Refers to my friend Craig W. Dye. We spoke for the last time, by telephone, on July 13, 1993.]
7-16-03 ELLEN DOES THE SHANGHAI MAFIA
FREEDMAN: Well, Jeffrey, did you talk to Ellen about resigning from the
Court? Tell you what, there's an extra $50 bucks in it for you if she
does.
ELLEN: Don't tell me later that there was something extra I was supposed
to do like renounce my citizenship and disown my first born child.
FREEDMAN: No, no. Just resign from the Court and sign a contingency-fee agreement.
ELLEN: I'm doin' it!
[Parody of a Seinfeld episode, "The Chinese Restaurant." Note the
phrase: "disown my first born child," a possible allusion to Sophocles'
play, "Oedipus Rex." Oedipus' father, Laius, disowned the infant
Oedipus. Compare the message on 1-30-03 that referred to the first born
child of Steve Routh, a Hogan & Hartson attorney. The phrase
"renounce my citizenship" might be an allusion to the punishment imposed
on Oedipus; he was forced into exile from Thebes.]
7-17-03 For my friends at the Gump. -- Think of this as a terrorist
attack in very, very slow motion: Only nobody dies, they just end up
getting disbarred!
7-18-03 Happy 97th birthday to Clifford Odets -- By the way, how are
Walt and Nora. -- Good to see Luise Rainer on the Oscars this year.
[Odets was a playwright, whose children were named Walt and Nora. Odets
was married to the Oscar-winning actress, Luise Rainer. Odets was born
in the same year as my father: 1906. My father had been a close friend
of Odets' cousin, Benny Rossman.]
7-21-03 / 7-22-03 I heard that 20-year tenants get a $500 bonus. --
August 2003 will be my 20th anniversary here at the beautiful 3801 --
Please make my bonus check payable to "Gary Freedman."
[Message is a joke.]
7-23-03 Last night I was thinking about the sorry end for those two
partners in crime -- I thought: "It's like a Greek tragedy, only they're
not Greek and it's not particularly tragic." I don't know what
nationality Race and Hoffman are!
[Refers to two management partners (Dennis M. Race and Lawrence J.
Hoffman) at Akin Gump. Note the implied allusion to Sophocles' play
"Oedipus Rex," a Greek tragedy. Also, note that the reference to Race's
nationality seems to allude to the record on appeal in Freedman v. D.C.
Dept. of Human Rights: "At this point Malcolm Lassman turned to Dennis
Race and said, 'Dennis, you're not Jewish. Jews don't eat pork'" (see
message below, 7-24).
7-24-03 I signed up for food-stamp recertification last week. I'm hoping
they will increase my benefit. I gotta talk to Glickman -- Hey,
Glickman! -- There needs to be a kosher premium for food stamp
recipients who eat kosher. That kosher crap costs like 20% more they
treyf. I think the current program violates my 1st Amendment rights!
[Refers to Dan Glickman, former Secretary of Agriculture in the Clinton
Administration, and, as of 2003, a lawyer at Akin Gump. The word "treyf"
means "non-kosher."]
7-25-03 I'm getting inappropriate pressure to return to work from Dr.
Bash. I'm beginning to identify more and more with John Hinckley!
[Refers to the fact that the government has consistently fought to
preserve Hinckley's status as a ward of the state; while I, an innocent
person who never committed a violent act, was being pressured by a state
employee, Dr. Bash, to give up his government benefits.]
7-28-03 Somebody in the apt bldg threw away a perfectly good DVD player! My gain.
[I learned later that the DVD player didn't work.]
7-29-03 I started on a new anti-depressant medication this morning -- Effexor. Let's see what this does!
7-30-03 They didn't increase my food stamps! What's up with that, Glickman?
7-31-03 I hear there's a big meeting with the WRIT folks. Why don't you
raise the issue of the $500 bonus for 20-year residents? I know you have
a lot of influence in the organization.
8-1-03 On a couple of occasions in the library -- the following picture
was displayed prominently in the magazine exchange. It looks like an
age-enhanced picture of Rubenstein. How would they know what Rubenstein
looks like? [Attached is AT&T ad featuring a photo of the actor
Cliff Robertson holding a telephone with the following advertising copy:
"The better we sound. Touch Someone.]
8-4-03 I'm hoping to tighten the noose this week. They shoot horses don't they?
[Refers to a letter that I contemplated sending to GW President Stephen
J. Trachtenberg about my psychotherapy at GW; the letter described my
job termination by Dennis Race at Akin Gump. My therapist at GW (Meghana
Tembe) later persuaded me not to send the letter.]
8-5-03 This morning when I looked at Mr. Cookson, he turned his eyes
away, and would not look me in the eye. That tells me things are heating
up (Ouch! that's hot! Something's cooking on the hot stove ! ! !)
[Pius Cookson is the building engineer at 3801 Connecticut.]
8-6-03 I just wish this thing were over. Then I could sue the bastards
-- and rent a penthouse at 3883 Conn. I'd keep this apt for storage.
8-8-03 OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT, I will NOT run for Governor of California.
I'm sorry to disappoint all of the California out-of-state voters here
at 3801.
[Refers to Arnold Schwarzenegger's announcement that he will run for Governor of California.]
8-8-03 I'm submitting these notes -- ("The Archives") to my psychologist.
DENNIS RACE: I got Bashed!
[Refers to my simmering anger about Dr. Bash's statements that she
thought I was employable. Dr. Bash's statements about my employability
were especially troubling because SSA had just renewed my benefits
without even doing a review, which suggested to me that SSA believed my
disability was serious.]
8-11-03 / 8-12-03 I was thinking about ending this line of
communication, but I decided against it. My instincts tell me it's not
time. Still got some lawyers to screw! As they say: A lawyer who fucks a
lawyer is twice a lawyer!
8-13-03 People ask: "Does Israel have the bomb?" The way I see it, it
misses the point. In terms of destructive potential, they have Dr. Bash!
Does it matter whether they have the bomb?
8-14-03 Tomorrow (8-15-03) is a big day. No, not Vernon Jordan's
birthday. No, not Napoleon's birthday -- 32 years ago tomorrow Richard
Nixon got on TV in the evening (a Sunday evening in 1971) to announce
wage & price controls. I don't know why I remember that -- I wonder
if Ben Stein remembers -- you know his old man was a Nixon econ.
adviser.
8-14-03 BONUS #135 (John Walsh) keeps his TV on all day-- Is he nuts? Aren't there better ways to scare off demons?
8-15-03 My illness is so devastating at times that I wonder how I can
get through the day. "It's so sad"-- That's what Pat Nixon said on the
plane back to San Clemente after Pres. Nixon resigned.
8-18-03 MESSAGE FOR DAVID GREGORY: Caught you on the Today Show. Good to hear you speaking English. Sincerely, George W. Bush.
[Gregory was the NBC-TV White House reporter in 2003. His fluency in
French at a press conference with French President Chirac once irked
President Bush.]
8-19-03 I guess it's the end of an era. I just found out that [resident
manager] David Castleberry left-- All of a sudden. Then I learned that
[my former treating psychiatrist] Lawrence C. Sack, MD, died. There was a
note on his [office] door on Sat 8-16 advising patients to call his
son, Dr. Robert Sack -- La comedia est finita!
["La comedia est finita" refers to Beethoven. A few days before
Beethoven's death, a friend wrote: "He feels the end coming, for
yesterday he said to me . . . 'Plaudite, amici, comoedia finita est.'"
(Applaud, friends, the comedy is ended.).]
END OF DIARIES.
