I had a consult with my psychiatrist, Abbas Jama, M.D., on January 7, 2010. We talked about my feelings of anger toward my former employer, the law firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld. Dr. Jama urged me to "let go" of my anger. He said I need to forgive my former employer. He said that my anger is only hurting me, and not the object of my anger, namely, the people I used to work for.
Dr. Jama needs to recognize that it is not only anger that determines my continued obsession with my former employer. Another aspect of my obsession is a driving curiousity. I can't give up or "let go" of my desire to know the real reason why I was terminated from my job in October 1991; why was I placed under surveillance; why was I harassed; what was the role of Robert S. Strauss, Esq., if any, in my employment at the firm; what were the roles of Malcolm Lassman and Earl Segal in my employment and the decision to terminate; how was the firm able to get so many mental health professionals to divulge confidential mental health information about me; why did the firm continue to be interested in me after my employment ended nearly 20 years ago; who did the firm contact about me -- Harold Bloom (Yale University); Peter Gay (Yale University); Fritz Stern (Columbia University); Jerrold M. Post, M.D. (The George Washington University Medical Center) and who else? What did the firm learn about me? Why did the firm share confidential information about me with my coworkers? How did the firm get the resident managers of my apartment building to enter my apartment? What information were the managers looking for in my apartment.
From a psychoanalytical perspective I think my curiousity is a sublimation of a primal scene fantasy. The expression "primal scene" refers to the sight of sexual relations between the parents, as observed, constructed, and/or fantasized by the child and interpreted by the child as a scene of violence. The scene is not understood by the child, remaining enigmatic but at same time provoking sexual excitement. For some individuals primal scene fantasies remain a driving force in their mental lives throughout adulthood.
The child wonders: What are those noises coming from mommy's and daddy's bedroom? What do mommy and daddy do together? Why doesn't mommy have a penis like daddy? Why is daddy's penis so much larger than mine?
Dr. Jama needs to interpret the sexual underpinnings of my curiousity about my former employer.
There are so many questions! I need to know the answers!
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The following person also seems to have a driving need to know:
Verizon Internet Services (173.79.61.115) [Label IP Address]
Silver Spring, Maryland, United States,
Jerrold M. Post, M.D. director of the political psychology program at George Washington University.
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